


After the End

by EllieRose101



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:30:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 59,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieRose101/pseuds/EllieRose101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever wondered what happened to our favorite bleached blond vampire after he faced down the forces of evil with Angel (Ats Season 5 - 'Not Fade Away')? Spoiler: it involves a certain Slayer...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> This story ignores any goings-on in the post-series comics.  
> Rated mature for sexual situations.

London (Summer 2004)

Dawn woke up with the sound of her alarm, the smell of bacon, and the sensation of being hit by a pillow.

“Get up already,” Buffy demanded, still brandishing her feathery weapon, “You’ve hit snooze six times already. I thought Spike was hard to wake but you take it to a whole other level.”

Dawn groaned and opened one eye a little. “Wha? Is Giles cooking breakfast again?” she asked, groggily.

“Yup, full fry up.”

Both of Dawn’s eyes became wide and clear as she pushed past her sister on the way to the kitchen. Buffy shook her head a little, smiling and muttering to herself, “I don’t know where she puts all that food.”

“Huh?” Dawn asked from the doorway, a piece of toast now in hand. “You say something?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just don’t take too long getting ready, alright? We’ve got a lot of shops to hit for your school supplies. If they’re gonna force you to wear a uniform I don’t understand why we can’t buy it all in one store. We’re probably gonna have to go all over to track down the stuff on that list.”

The sisters groaned in unison.

 

\---

 

As they sat on the upper deck of a red bus that Dawn thought only existed in stereotypical movies about the capital, Buffy gently massaged her temples.

“You okay?”

“I’ll be fine. Just not been sleeping well – unlike some.”

“More Slayer dreams huh?”

Buffy stared at her sister before glancing around the rest of the passengers. “Could you possibly keep it down?”

“Because of the big headache or because of my big mouth?” Dawn inquired.

Buffy’s steely gaze returned to her sister as she tried to figure out whether she seriously expected an answer or not. Just then she felt a new pain in her skull that made all the earlier ones seem like child’s play.

“We gotta get out. I need air.”

For once, Dawn didn’t argue but instead helped her down the steps and out into the street where she took a seat on the curb and placed her head between her knees.

Again Buffy could see the vision that had followed her around since arriving in London; a picture of Spike before he was Spike - a picture that made her heart ache as much as the rest of her.

After a while she brought her head up level with Dawn, who was crouched beside her in a protective stance.

“Find me a pub,” she said, “I need a drink and you need a story.”

 

\---

 

Inside the nearest pub they could find, Buffy ordered a whisky - straight up - and an orange juice for Dawn; thankful that the barman didn’t question her sister’s legal age.

“You only drink that stuff when you’re missing him,” Dawn said. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

Buffy looked concerned. “You notice too much. I wish I could just shield you from everything.”

“Please,” said Dawn as she scanned the food menu. “Don’t patronize me – oooh, the kid’s special comes with a toy.”

The both shared a laugh.

“Sorry, ironic distractions aside. You said you had a story?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s not a good idea after all.”

“Buffy, no. I’m not letting this go. Tell me what’s up with you. I wanna help.”

“Fine, okay. It’s just… It’s just I’ve had this overwhelming feeling for a while now, that Spike is in danger, and I know it makes no sense because he’s already been gone like – what? A year? – but maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s the anniversary of losing him is what’s brought this on. Anyway, the feeling is particularly overwhelming here. In London I mean, and in this area in particular. I think he must have lived around here, in centuries past.”

As Buffy finished her confession she noticed a chalkboard above the bar announcing a poetry evening.

“This is too much. I can’t take it. Maybe coming here was a bad idea. I just wanted to see his excessively huge hometown and imagine his essence around me, but it’s all just too much. Essence overload for the buffster. He once told me he’d loved it here, with all the people. Said it helped him feel less alone to have everyone buzzing around him. But he _was_ alone, in those days. He was miserable. So I thought it was worth a shot, right? I thought the masses could help blot out _my_ misery for a bit. But I didn’t bargain on the masses sounding like him; on hearing his stupidly sexy accent everywhere.”

Dawn was the one to look concerned, now.

“Sorry,” said Buffy. “I’m rambling.”

“No, it’s good. Rambling is good. You can’t keep it all inside. Inside is a bad place; letting things build up there can lead to anxiety and tension and explosions of confessions which are never as tidy or as helpful as willing rambling confessions and oh, god, Buffy – Spike is alive.”

Buffy felt the room spin around her so much that she had to take hold of the sticky uneven table in front of her just to keep grounded. “What did you say?” she asked at last.

Dawn took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before, but Giles thought best to keep it a secret. Andrew saw him when he visited L.A. Spike was with Angel.”

A million thoughts crowded her head at once, all shouting for her attention.

Buffy waved the barman over and ordered the rest of the whiskey bottle in its entirety.

 


	2. Drunken Dreams and Revelations

It took Dawn some time dragging the drunken slayer back to Giles’ apartment. And when they did arrive, he was not amused with either of them.

“How could you have let her get like this, Dawn? And Buffy, what were you thinking? Drinking with a minor? What’s wrong with you?!”

“What’s wrong with me?” she spat. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Buffy, please. You don’t know what you’re saying. I think you should go sleep it off.”

“How could you do it?” she continued, surprisingly coherent. “How could you know and not tell me?”

A look of realization came over his face. “Am I to assume you’re talking about Spike?”

“How could you not tell me?!” she demanded again.

“Buffy, be reasonable-”

“No! I’m done being reasonable. If reason keeps people apart then to hell with it! I love him, Giles, and he’s in danger and I haven’t done a damn thing because I didn’t know the visions were real.”

Giles’ expression changed again at the mention of visions.

“Before you ask, no. I’m not going into every painful detail of my dreams just so you can sit and muse over your beloved books. We are not okay.”

“Buffy,” Dawn interjected, “I think maybe sleeping _is_ a good idea.”

The Slayer turned to her sister with tears in her eyes. “Will you stay with me?”

“Sure, Buffy, of course. Anything you need.”

Dawn led her to the bathroom to change before tucking her in and taking a place beside her. Instinctively, she stroked her Buffy’s hair, hoping it would calm her, but she protested.

“Don’t,” she said. “That’s what he did. He was always playing with my hair. Called me his little Goldilocks- oh, Dawn, I need him, and he’s not here. Why isn’t he here? Why didn’t he come to me?”

“Well, umm…”

“What?” Buffy sat up only to fall sideways again. “What is it?”

“Andrew said he kinda did stop by, in Italy, but you were with the Immortal, and apparently they have some kind of past. I don’t really know anything more than that, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Dawnie. I’ll sleep and we’ll figure it out tomorrow. I just need to find him.”

“And you will, I’ll help you.”

Unable to keep her eyes open any longer, Buffy whispered a thank you as she drifted off.

 

\---

 

In her dream, Buffy was transported back to the curb she’d sat on earlier, but this time she was hovering above herself, watching her body slumped there with head between knees as she had been. This time it was night, and this time - when the grounded Buffy looked up - it was William guarding her instead of Dawn. Letting out a tiny gasp, floating Buffy inadvertently drew William’s attention to her. Looking up at her, he smiled before a light began emanating from his chest.

“No!” both Buffys cried together, “Not again!” but it was too late.

He was gone.

For the fifth night in a row, Spike had dissolved into light before her and she was jerked back to consciousness before she could do anything about it.

 

\---

 

“Buffy? It’s okay,” Dawn soothed, “It’s just a dream.”

“No,” Buffy told her, “It’s not.”

Dawn wasn’t sure which part Buffy was disagreeing with but felt it best not to ask.

“You need anything?” she asked instead.

“Yes. Phone. Now, please. And the laptop, I need you to find me the number for that law firm.”

“Wolfram and Hart? Sure, I’ll get it.”

 

The phone rang just twice before being picked up by a snooty woman Buffy instantly disliked.

“May I speak to Angel?” she asked, trying to sound pleasant.

“Angel is no longer based within this company,” the woman told her. “The office you have called has been closed and you will need to direct any personal calls elsewhere, Miss Summers.”

The line went dead.

Buffy couldn’t believe it. Who the hell was she? What happened to Angel and the office and how did they know who she was? All the thoughts made her head go dizzy again.

Dawn looked up at her, expectantly.

“Get back online. Book us some plane tickets, leaving as soon as possible.”

 

\---

 

At the airport, Giles pleaded with Buffy to stay and talk for a while; to not act on impulse, but she was in no mood to listen. The bags Dawn had hastily put together were already on board and the flashing sign was urging them to go to the gate.

“I will listen to what you’ve got to say when I get back,” Buffy told her watcher. “I don’t know why you kept this from me but I’m willing to let you try and explain later.”

Dawn gave him a quick hug and that was an end to the matter. Nothing was stopping them getting the plane, and nothing was gonna stop the Slayer until she found Spike.

 

\---

 

Having not slept the entire flight, Buffy was half out of her seat by the time the plane landed. Nudging Dawn awake, they climbed out of the seven-four-seven and got into the closest taxi they could find as quickly as they could.

 

When the cab pulled up outside what used to be Wolfram and Hart’s LA branch, Buffy could see why all calls were being directed elsewhere. The building barely held together – looking exactly as Buffy felt.

“You sure you wanna get out here, Ladies?” the driver asked, but no response came from the Slayer.

Eventually Dawn had to make a decision without her. “Take us to the nearest hotel,” she said.

The driver obliged but, before he was even halfway there, Buffy demanded he stop so she could get out.

“Crazy chicks, you can’t get out in the middle of an intersection.”

Buffy glared at him. “If you wanna get your cash you drop us here and now.”

Grudgingly, he pulled across two lanes of traffic to let them off at the side. Horns blared angrily all around them as they hauled their cases out of the trunk.

Throwing bills at the driver, Buffy couldn’t help but remember the time she’d thrown money at Spike. It was years ago but she could still see the pain in his eyes as if she’d just witnessed it afresh. She told him he was beneath her, but how wrong she’d been. If only she could take it back.

“Buffy!” Dawn shouted at her – bringing her back to her senses. “Where to?”

“Can you get over that wall? There’s a street on the other side. He’s been here recently.”

 

Once in the street, it didn’t take Buffy long to figure out the rest of the way to Spike’s apartment. Upon kicking the door down, the man standing on the other side jumped back in surprise.

“Well, what d’ya know? The Slayer. Never thought I’d be seeing you this soon.”

Buffy grabbed him by his throat and pushed him up against the wall.

“Tell me where he is. Now.”

“You’ve still got one hell of a grip.”

“I am in no mood for games.”

“Okay, okay. He’s right in there,” said Whistler, gesturing towards a door off the lounge.

“He couldn’t be,” she said. “I don’t sense him. It’s like he was here but he’s left.”

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his throat. “There’s a reason for that.”

 

\---

 

Buffy woke up on Spike’s living room floor with Dawn on one side of her and Whistler on the other. “Wha-” she stammered.

“You passed out a little,” Dawn told her.

As the thoughts cleared a little in her head, Buffy remembered the catalyst for her black out. “Spike!” she exclaimed, attempting to get up.

Whistler pushed her down again.

“Take it easy, sister. I’ve gotta explain some stuff to you before you go rushing into that room.”

“But he’s there. You said. You said- that there was a reason I couldn’t feel his presence.”

Buffy looked around her, trying to hold back inevitable tears. “He’s dead,” she choked.

“Couldn’t be more wrong,” said Whistler, and she stared at him. Both Dawn and Buffy waited for him to elaborate; the tension building inside of them.

“What’s going on? Let me up!”

“I’ll let you up, just promise not to go in there. Not yet.”

Buffy’s mind flew off in all kinds of crazy directions. First, she thought that maybe he didn’t want to see her. Or that maybe he was unconscious. Or badly injured. Or that the room was cloaked. She wondered if he was in there doing something she wouldn’t want to see. She wondered if he was with Harmony, or Dru. Some new bit on the side.

“Buffy, hey, focus on me. Do you promise to wait and listen? It’s really important.”

“Yes. I promise,” she said, pushing Whistler off so she could get to her feet before sitting down on the couch.

“Explain. Quickly. Dawn, come sit by me. This better be good.”

“Okay, okay. Pressure. Where to start? He’s going through a transformation, kind of. If it’s disrupted he could be in real trouble.”

“Transformation? From what to what? And why? And what’s it got to do with you?”

“I’m here to take care of him during the process. To make sure he’s not disturbed. The Powers that Be sent me; seems I’m their main minion again, now that the Cordelia chick’s gone.”

“Where’s Cordy gone?” Dawn interrupted.   
“She’s dead?” asked Buffy. Whistler nodded.

“I thought you knew. Assumed Angel would have told you.”

“There hasn’t been a whole lot of communication going on of late.”

“Where is Angel?” Dawn interrupted again, backtracking when Buffy shot her a look. “Last question I promise.”

“He’s with Nina, I expect,” said Whistler.

“Who is-”

“Dawn! Enough. We can get back to that later.”

“Right,” said Whistler. “So, there was this prophecy – the Shanshu Prophecy – basically stating that a vampire with a soul would fight in the apocalypse and, at the end - assuming he survived - he’d become human again.”

“I don’t understand,” said Buffy.

“Well, no. I’m not done. Umm… where was I? Yeah, so everyone assumed the prophecy was about Angel, including the Senior Partners. So they wanted to get him out of the way- to make sure he couldn’t succeed. So they sent him that shiny necklace, hoping he’d die shutting the Hellmouth; except, as you know, that wasn’t how it went down. Spike wore the necklace and ruined that plan. The Senior P then brought Spike back so there’d be a contender for Angel. And that’s what happened. There were two vampires with souls wandering around and suddenly the prophecy didn’t seem so clear-cut. The Senior P had halved the chances of Angel becoming human and, when he waged war against them together with Spike, it was anyone’s guess what would happen. No one knew if the prophecy would come to pass. No one knew who’d survive, or who it was all about.”

“I’m getting a headache,” Buffy groaned. “What does all this mean? Keep it simple,” she petitioned, “Please.”

“Both Angel and Spike survived the mega battle with the Senior P but, as it turned out, the prophecy wasn’t a complete crock o’ crap and it just so happened to be about Spike here.”

“Spike’s becoming human, again?” Buffy’s voice had gone monotone with shock.

“Yeah,” Whistler confirmed. “Process takes seven days, apparently. Don’t ask me why. But-”

“Five are down so there’s not long left to go.”

“How’d you know?”

“He’s been moonlighting in her dreams for most of the past week,” Dawn told him.

Buffy kept adding all of the new information together in her head, coming to a conclusion. “I can only feel the presence of the supernatural. Spike’s changing, which is why I can’t sense him anymore.”

“Yes,” said Whistler.

“And I can’t sit with him?”

“No. No one can go near that room. It’s a delicate process. I’m sorry, Buff, but you’re gonna have to wait two more days.”

“And he’ll be human?”

“Yes.”

“I think I need to lie on the floor again.”

“That can be arranged.”


	3. Waiting Game

The next two days were torture for Buffy. She couldn’t stand not knowing what the process was like, and how Spike was dealing with it. Part of her wondered if he was in pain, but another part of her didn’t want to know. The temptation to just open the door a little for a peek was overwhelming. Whistler thought that maybe she and Dawn shouldn’t stay there, in case she went back on her promise. There was no way he could pull back or hold down a fully conscious Buffy. If she wanted to get in there, she would; but for now Buffy was ignoring her instincts to run to him. She couldn’t risk everything when it was so close.

Pacing the room, she thought about what would have happened if he’d have come to her right away – as soon as the Senior Partners brought him back – eventually deciding that she would have tried to convince him that she did mean what she said; that she did love him. And then they’d be together, but he would have missed out on this opportunity to start life again – real, human life.

Pulling herself out of her spiral of unhelpfully intense thoughts, she asked Whistler, “Is there anything I can do for him?”

“He’ll probably be needing some food when he’s done.”

“Right,” she said. “I’ll find the nearest butchers and stock up, and-”  
“Buffy,” Dawn interrupted, “I’m not sure he’ll still have the same desire for blood at the end of this.”

“Oh,” said Buffy, slumping down on the couch “Right. This is all gonna take some getting used to.”

“Yeah, I get that,” said Dawn, “But, staying on the whole food topic…” she hesitated, causing Buffy to look at her properly, “I get you not wanting to nourish yourself, what with epic stress removing all appetite and everything, but… I kinda haven’t eaten in a day and a half.”

Buffy got really pale, suddenly. “Oh, Dawn, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking. Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“You’ve got a lot going on,” she shrugged. “I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. And don’t let me neglect you. I really am sorry I’ve been so wrapped up.”

“It’s cool. If the love of _my_ life was coming _back_ to life, I’d be distracted too.”

Buffy looked at her sister in awe. “When did you become so mature?”

“When you weren’t looking,” said Dawn, sticking out her tongue and playfully poking her sister in the ribs, making her laugh for the first time in days.

“Thank you for being cool about all this. How about we order take out and then go shopping?”

“That sounds like a great plan,” Dawn affirmed.

 

\---

 

Dawn was so full of food and so overcome by postponed jet lag that she fell asleep almost as soon as she finished the very last garlic dough ball.

“You sure you’re okay to watch her?” Buffy asked Whistler. “I shouldn’t be gone more than an hour, and you’ve got my number if you need it.”

“I’m not usually one for babysitting, but it’s walk in the park when the babies are asleep,” he told her.   
“I’m choosing to translate that as ‘All will be well’.”

Whistler nodded and Buffy turned to leave, but she hesitated before reaching the door.

“I’ve been wondering about something…”

“Yeah?”

“Why did the Senior Partners fear Angel becoming human? It doesn’t make any sense. Surely he’d be less of a threat to them in that state than he is now.”

“I’ve been thinking about that too,” Whistler admitted, “But whatever it’s all about, they clearly weren’t concerned about human Spike posing the same threat.”

“So you don’t think they’ll come after Spike after he’s changed?”

“I don’t think so, but it’s hard to say for sure.”

“Thanks.”

 

\---

 

At the store, Buffy found herself looking at lingerie, scented candles, and fancy bubble bath. _Maybe I could get Whistler to take Dawn out of the apartment when the time comes,’_ she thought. _‘Get him to show her around while I make the place look special for Spike._

She bought all the ingredients to prepare a roast dinner, and bread to make sandwiches in case his stomach was sensitive. Earlier, she’d noticed his distinct lack of even the most basic kitchen utensils so she got him everything he might need. All in all, she spent three hours putting stuff in her cart, and even then she only finished up because the place was closing.

On the way back, the cab passed a drug store and she got the driver to stop off. Once inside, she felt monumentally embarrassed but couldn’t really understand why. When the truth of the situation finally hit her, she went from bright red to pale rather quickly.

“You alright, ma’am?” Asked the man behind the cash register, “Anything I can help you with?”

Handing him the birth control she nodded, “Just these please.”

She’d bought contraception before, but this was different. She never thought she’d see the day when she’d be needing some for Spike. It had never been possible for that to even be an issue. She found it overwhelming how even the most basic foundations of their relationship had been altered, and she was just assuming – hoping with every fiber of her being – that they could be together despite all the changes.

 

\---

 

Back in the apartment, Buffy found her sister awake and giving Whistler the third degree.

“Okay, but what gives?” she was saying. “Who _is_ Nina?”

“Tall, dark, and brooding’s girlfriend,” he told her.

“Girlfriend. Right, of course,” said Buffy, joining them. “Y’know? This is just typical of him. He gets all up in my face about me being with Spike but casually ignores the fact that he’s seeing other people too.”

“Well, you aren’t together anymore, Buff. He’s kinda allowed to be non-exclusive.”

“You’re missing the point. Dawn, why is he missing the point? Do people just refuse to see logic just to infuriate me?”

Dawn put a hand on her sister’s shoulder and took back control the conversation to save her any more angst. “Buffy isn’t bothered about the fact Angel has a girlfriend, she’s bothered by the fact _he_ gets annoyed at _her_ for having relationships when he’s in one himself. It’s hypocritical.”

“Amen,” declared Buffy, but Whistler still looked perplexed. “D’ya know what? It doesn’t matter. It _really_ doesn’t matter. Because Spike is alive and human now – or, at least, he will be – so there’s nothing stopping us being together. Assuming he still wants me.”

“Of course he still wants you,” Dawn chirped.

Buffy smiled at her but still felt a little unsure. “Anyway,” she continued, “It’s still not the point. Angel had his chance – he had many of them, in fact. If you’d have asked me six months ago if I’d have waited for him I’d have probably said yes, but things change, and I don’t owe him anything.”

“Good for you, Buffy,” said Dawn. “I’m glad it’s clear in your mind.”

“Crystal,” she confirmed. “Angel can make his own cookies.”

Now both Whistler and Dawn looked at her with confusion.

“Nevermind,” she said, “Kind of a private reference.”

 

\---

 

There wasn’t enough room in Spike’s kitchen for all of the things Buffy had got him. After re-arranging everything several times, she gave up and left a lot of the stuff in bags just out on the counter top.

“Don’t worry,” Dawn told her. “We can all get a bigger place once this is over. We’ll find one that’ll fit everything. Do you think you’ll choose to settle here or in London?”

Turning to her, Buffy looked unsure. “I don’t know what’s gonna happen, Dawnie. We can’t just go from zero to housemates just like that. Can we?”

“If he’s anything like the Spike we know, he’ll jump at the chance,” Dawn reassured her. “And I’m pretty sure that’s what you’re wanting now too, right?”

Buffy broke down a little and Whistler steered her towards the couch. “I’m so scared,” she admitted. “What if he’s _not_ the same? What if everything is completely different?”

“Then we’ll deal. It’s what we do.”

“You’re right,” said Buffy, sighing and rubbing her eyes. “I think I should get some rest; take a break from this whole thing.”

“Yet another excellent idea,” said Dawn, with more than enough enthusiasm for the both of them.

 

\---

 

It didn’t take Buffy long to drift off. Before she knew it, she was stood on the curb of a London sidewalk waiting for Spike’s dream-self to appear.

After what seemed like an eternity of nothing, Buffy began to panic. _Why isn’t he here?_ she thought. _Why hasn’t he shown up?!_

Then she heard her name, somewhere in the distance, but she couldn’t quite figure out the direction. “Spike?” she called back in response. “Spike?!”

She felt herself drifting out of the dream and so she tried to hold on; kept trying to focus on his voice. It was becoming clearer now. Surrounding her.

Letting out a gasp, she was back in the apartment, with his arms either side of her.

He was gently shaking her and repeating her name.

“Buffy, are you okay?” he said, “What are you doing here? You were calling out to me.”

Pulling back from his grip, she stared at him. “Are you real?” she asked.

“I think so,” he said, and she leapt up to put her arms around him.

“Spike!” she said again, now fully with it.

“Buffy,” he replied, hugging her back.

They stood there for a while, just repeating each other’s names, then it occurred to Buffy that they were alone in the room.

“I don’t understand,” she said, finally releasing her grip. “When did you finish the process? Why did no one wake me?”

“There’s no one else here, Buffy. I don’t even know how you are; kinda confused myself, as it happens.”


	4. Coming Together and Moving Forward

Spike sat down next to Buffy, automatically taking hold of her hand.

“Funny story,” he began, “Last thing I know, was recovering from heavy burns sustained from a dragon of all things, when this bloke – some kind of musician, or singer he said he was – comes t’ tell me I need to get some place to recover. Now, normally I wouldn’t let just anyone take me home, but I could feel there was more going on with me than just really bad battle wounds – felt all drowsy and out of it, like – and he seemed to understand what was happening, so I let him pull my ass outta the way of the rising sun. And that’s where things get weird, right? Because the next thing I’m aware of is you, in – get this – Victorian London. And time is shifting and I’m warm all over. Falling in and out of consciousness; picking up bits and pieces of dialogue from the other room that make no bloody sense. Then the burning in my chest stops, my head clears, but your voice remains. I get to my feet, come out here and see you flailing around, looking distressed… saying my name. I’d certainly appreciate someone filling in the blanks, unless this is another dream, in which case just let me enjoy it without the analysis.”

Buffy was dumbfounded. She looked him in the eyes, her jaw still slightly dropped in shock from all that was happening.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked her then. “I know everything’s strange and that, but I have this strong desire to-”

Cutting him off mid sentence, she pressed her lips to his with such force and passion that he reeled back a bit exclaimed “Steady on!” before jumping back into the moment himself.

They kissed for a long time. He cupped her face and she ran her hands through his hair before letting them move further down his body, to his chest and arms. He pulled her closer and kissed her neck and she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

“I love you!” she blurted.

Spike stopped, suddenly, looking her dead in the eye. “What did you say?”

“I love you. I mean it. I meant it before. I love you.” He was silent, so she continued speaking. “Do you still-”

“Oh, Buffy. Of course I do. I’ve never stopped!”

“Can we do this? Can we be together – all the way?”

“Can we-? Bloody hell! Is this happening? Have I died?!”

She smiled a little at this and quoted Whistler, “Couldn’t be more wrong.”

“Okay,” he said, letting go of her and standing up. “Tell me what’s happening.”

Buffy didn’t know where to start. _How do you tell someone who’s died twice and been a supernatural being for over a century that they’re human again?_

She stammered, began trying to speak a couple of times before taking a deep breath to start again. Just then, her cell phone rang. Buffy answered it immediately, thankful for the break in tension.

“Dawn,” she said, looking at the caller ID. “Where are you?”

“Food court at the mall. Whistler’s feeding me up. Why do you sound shocked? I left a note. By the toaster? Doesn’t matter, I’m cool. All’s good here. Did he come to? Is he there? Can I speak to him? Am I interrupting? Whis’ thought it was almost time, so we made ourselves scarce. Is everything okay?”

“Too much,” said Buffy. “Too many questions.”

“Should I talk to you later?”

“Uh huh.”

“Right. We’ll be back by nightfall. You’ve got like five hours. And, Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Make the most of it.”

Buffy hung up without responding to that last part. She looked up to see Spike going through the bags in the kitchen. “You moving in?” he said. “Found Niblet’s note. And, uh, some other things.” Holding up a new pair of fancy panties, he raised an eyebrow at her. “What have I done to deserve all this?”

“Spike… Don’t you have any idea what happened to you?”

“Well,” he said. “I’m aware that I’m breathing. And that my heart is pumping. But I’m trying not to think about it too much, because it reinforces the whole idea that this is all a dream and I really don’t want to let myself believe that.”

“This is real,” she said. “ _You’re_ real.”

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“The prophecy,” she confirmed.

“No,” he shook his head. “It couldn’t be. This is… me? I’m…”

“Human.”

“Wow,” was all he could say.

“You hungry?”

 

\---

 

Buffy knocked on the bathroom door and it opened. Spike was stood there, just staring at himself in the mirror.

“Handsome devil, aren’t I?” he said, not looking away from his reflection.

Buffy laughed, “Yes. Also very humble.”

Spike gestured to the mirror. “Only have this thing here because it came with the place.”

“Could you possibly pull yourself away for one minute? How are you feeling?”

“Damn sexy,” he replied with a grin.

“Spike, I’m serious.”

Finally, he turned to face her. “I’m good,” he admitted. “Really, I am. Better than good.”

“So, you don’t mind being human?”

“Don’t mind it? Buffy, I love it. It’s what I wanted; it’s why I stayed here as long as I did. Don’t you know what it means, for us? Doesn’t it give us a chance of that normal relationship you’ve always craved?”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

“Really? You meant what you said, about wanting to be together?”

“Yes, I want to be together. I so much want to. How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you’ll believe me? I came here not knowing anything about you becoming human. I came here to tell you that I wanted to give us a shot – even if you had still been a vamp, I wanted to try. Losing you made me realize that I don’t ever want to live without you.”

He smiled so wide she thought his face was in danger of splitting in half. “Tell me again,” he said. “Just say it just one more time.”

Rolling her eyes, she moved in closer to him. “I love you, Spike. But if you keep teasing me I might just stop saying it all together.”

Putting his arms around her he said, “Come on. It’s only fair. After how hard you made me work for it.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “I deserved that. God, this is so surreal. How we still bicker. You don’t seem any different at all.”

“I feel different.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Kinda weak. Fragile. Not sure I like that part.”

“Spike, honey, you’ve died and been resurrected how many times now? And you’re still standing. You’re the strongest person I know.”

“Look who’s talking,” he replied, playfully nudging her.

“Okay, okay, walked into that one. But, think about it, I may be a slayer but I’m still human. There’s no need for you to feel insecure.”

“Insecurity’s not really a rational thing, Buffy.”

“True, but I’m begging you to have some control over it. I don’t want it tearing you apart like it did Riley.”

Spike shook his head. “Captain Cardboard was a fool to think his mortality mattered to you.”

Buffy looked at him, waiting for his words to sink into his own head.

“Oh,” he said at last. “I guess that would be the point you were just making.”

She couldn’t help put find his occasional dense-ness endearing. Gently, she cupped his face and waited for his eyes to lock with hers. She spoke softly, yet her words had a firmness to them: “You have nothing to be insecure about. Not a single thing.”

“But what about-”

“Not a _single_ thing, do you hear me?”

He still looked somewhat unconvinced.

“Come on! Don’t you know? Do I have to spell it out? I don’t care if you’re human or demon - you’re the best I’ve ever had, dummy.”

“Oh, yeah? What about the Immortal?”

“Oh, him.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed a little as he tilted his head at her.

“Close,” she said, smiling - in awe of how handsome he truly was - “But no cigar.”

“You’re lying.”

“I don’t know why you’re so eager to believe you need to be more, or that he was better than you.”

“Not eager, just…”

“What?”

“I’m really the best you’ve ever had?”

Buffy’s smile widened again. “Yes, Spike, you’re my number one lover.”

Unable to stop himself, he punched the air with his fist.

“I really need to stop going for the jealous types,” the Slayer muttered to herself, amused.

He was looking at her intently again.

“What now?”

“Did you tell him what you just told me? Did you make him jealous of me?”

She sighed. “I didn’t need to tell him. It was obvious my heart wasn’t in it as far as he was concerned.”

“What was it - that you two had?”

“I was alone and I couldn’t stand it” Buffy answered honestly. “Conveniently, he wouldn’t leave me alone. So I spent some time with him, to try and get my mind off you. And he was nice and - don’t get me wrong - he was great in the sack. But he didn’t compare to you. He was a happy distraction, but that was it.”

“So, what, you ended it when you heard I was here?”

“Nah,” said Buffy. “He got bored of me eventually and started chasing after someone else.”

Spike was incredulous. “No,” he said. “There’s no way he’s that stupid. Really? He let you go?”

“In fairness, he never really had me to begin with. You know that thing I do? Where I build up emotional walls? Well, I broke them down for you, because you earned it, but there was no way I was gonna be doing that for him.”

It was Spike’s turn to gaze at Buffy in awe. “You’re amazing,” he said.

“I know, right?” she mocked.

“Buffy, seriously, I mean it.”

“I know you do. And thank you. As we’ve covered, you’re pretty amazing yourself.”

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Care to re-live some amazement?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”


	5. London Again (September 2004)

“Y’know,” said Spike, walking hand in hand with Buffy down a busy London street. “This whole going for a stroll in daylight thing is still really odd for me.”

Buffy nodded, “Well it makes sense that it’d take a while to get used to. You did spend over a century in the dark. Well, aside from that one time… but, uh, let’s not talk about that.”

“Yeah,” he said, “Still, I’m thinking I might save daytime for special occasions. In our line of work, it’s only logical we stay relatively nocturnal.”

“I like the sun,” Buffy protested. “Though, it’s not like we get much of it here in your homeland. Maybe that’s your problem: you were never that used to even when you were alive – the first time.”

“We get more than enough,” he assured her.

“I’m only teasing. You do kinda have a point, but there’s almost as much stuff for me to do during the day as at night. I’ve gotta sort Dawn out before school, and do banking and go shopping. It’s no fair, why can’t everything be 24 hours so I can actually schedule in some sleep once in a while?”

“Discrimination against creatures of the night, and the creatures that kill them?” he offered, grinning, before putting on his serious face. “You’re right about it not being fair, to expect you to fight demons by night and bank managers by day. I’m gonna have to get a job, ain’t I? So I can take care of some stuff and support you in your slaying.”

“I’m not gonna be a kept woman!”

“Luv, it’s not like I’m trying to force you to live off me and be a Suzy Homemaker type because I get some strange kick out of traditional gender roles. I’m actually trying to enable your girl power, and it just so happens that doing that goes against the grain like everything else in our bloody little lives.”

Buffy stopped walking. “Okay, where did the sudden tension at the end of that sentence come from?”

“Sorry,” said Spike, with a sigh. “I didn’t mean it to sound like I don’t like our lives it’s just…”

“What?”

“Well, we’re not exactly in the ideal situation. Shacked up with your Watcher. It’s like doing it with your father next door.”

“Eww, trying _not_ to think about that! And we are not ‘shacked up’ with Giles. He’s just giving us a place to crash until we find somewhere for ourselves. Speaking of places, are we close?”

“Almost there. Assuming the building’s still standing, it should be right around that corner,” he said, gesturing to his left.

“And the other place - where I saw the vision of you - that’s a couple of blocks away, right? What’s the emotional significance of there?”

“Oh, umm… yeah, a couple of blocks,” he averted her gaze.

“Spike? Spill!”

“That’s a- kinda the place I _met_ Dru.”

“Met as in…?”

“Must you torture this out of me?!” he said, before drawing a deep breath. “The place you pointed out to me just so happens to be the place where Dru turned me, and uh, did other things to make me less of the innocent mild-mannered man I was.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and her jaw slacked a little. “Are you trying to tell me you lost your virginity in an alleyway?!”

“Not like your first time was the teenage dream, luv” he shot back at her.

She frowned and glanced at her watch. “A whole twenty minutes without bickering. Think it’s a new record.”

“Well, you started it,” he said, smirking again; thankful for the change in subject. “Anyway, here we are. Me old mum’s house, which is now a WHAT?!”

“An upmarket pay by the hour hotel,” said Buffy, reading the sign above the marble archway.

“This is a disgrace. A right bloody tragedy! I was born here.”

“Huh? You missed out that bit on the brochure.”

“Goes without sayin’, don’t it? Was standard procedure to give birth at home back then.”

Buffy rolled her eyes at her lover, “Sometimes dating you is like a walking history lesson.”

“But more fun though?” he asked, running a hand up her bare arm in such a way that sent a tingling feeling throughout the rest of her body.

“Duh!” she said. “Can we go inside?”

“What are you thinking?”

“That I want to see the place…”

“And?” he prodded her, raising an eyebrow.

Blushing a little, she looked into his bright blue eyes before continuing, “And maybe we could spend some time? Do it away from Giles, if that’s not weird for you.”

He tilted his head at her, remaining silent.

“Oh, you know what I mean. Would you be okay doing it here?”

Pulling her hard against his chest so fast she let out a little yelp, he let a growl escape his throat in response before kissing her firmly.

When their lips parted she was smiling widely. “I’ll take that as a yes,” she said. “That growl is so sexy. I always figured it was just a vamp thing, but you do it even now.”

“Well,” he said, holding the door open for her and slapping her backside as she walked past him through it. “Old habits die hard.”

“I should kick your ass for that.”

He bit his tongue – literally – and she shook her head. “If you’re gonna keep being this way you’re gonna have to get me up those stairs pretty quickly, Mister.”

“Bell hop!” he shouted, turning around to the check-in desk, “A room now.”

There was a teenage girl manning reception, and a bright green demon behind her…

 

Both Buffy and Spike locked eyes on it at the same time and immediately assumed battle stances, but the girl drove her elbow back into its ribcage before they could lunge. She had it on the ground without even needing to turn around. Upon finally facing it she let out a sigh and snapped its neck with ease.

“Impressive,” said Spike.

“Slayer?” asked Buffy.

The girl nodded, “Room for two. How many hours shall I put you down for?”

Spike looked back at his girl and she, in turn, glanced back down at her watch.

“Think we can squeeze in four.”

The girl handed him a key with the room number on it and he took off up the stairs with Buffy over his shoulder, taking them two at a time.

“You can pay on checkout!” she shouted after them, before rolling her eyes and dragging the demon out back to be dumped.


	6. Serious Talk and Surprises

As Spike worked his way through the labyrinth of corridors looking for room twenty-three, with the Slayer still wriggling in his grasp, he complained about how much everything had changed. “They’ve ripped down walls all over the bloody place. Moved all the rooms about.”

Buffy laughed, “Spike, honey, focus. If we’re gonna do the grand tour you’re gonna have to set me down so I can see straight.”

“No,” he grunted, eyeing a sign indicating the way, “Rest of the tour can wait.”

Finally finding the room, he put the key in the lock with so much force that he almost snapped the mechanism clean in half. They fell through the threshold, landing on the floor – Buffy on her back, Spike on top, hurriedly trying to remove her clothes.

“Hang on, hang on, get the lights,” she said.

“Screw the lights,” he said, but she wriggled away from him, forcing him to sit up and take a breath.

“I am not getting caught with the door open again, and I can’t shut it if you’re in the way, so move. Get on the bed.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said, pulling her with him.

She laughed at his enthusiasm thinking, _I could do this forever_.

Using one arm to pin her hands above her head where she lay on the comforter, Spike used his free arm to continue undressing her while laying kisses up and down her neck.

Not feeling that things were going fast enough, Buffy pushed his arms aside and rolled on top to undo his pants, but as soon as she had them off she stopped and her brow furrowed.

“Buffy,” he protested. “We were kinda in a moment.”

“I think we need to stop,” she said, in monotone, and he sat up.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” he exclaimed, before pushing his frustration aside. “What’s wrong?”

“I, uh… we forgot.”

“Forgot?”

She blushed and turned her head to look around the room – to look at anything but her lover who was sat between her legs, hard as a rock.

Taking hold of her chin, he turned her head back towards him, but she still wouldn’t meet his gaze. “What did we forget, pet? You’re looking spooked.”

“Condoms,” she blurted out, suddenly.

Spike breathed a deep sigh of relief before laughing. “Oh, kitten, you are cute. Had me worried for minute there.” She glared at him long enough that he had to take her seriously. “What? It’s nothing.”

“No, Spike,” she said, climbing off him. “It’s not nothing. How can you say that?”

He was dumbfounded. “You’re really gonna waste this opportunity because we don’t have any johnnies?”

“We can’t risk it. It’s a big risk. Why aren’t you taking this seriously?”

With a sigh, he resigned himself to the fact she wasn’t gonna change her mind – again – so he reached over the side of the bed, retrieving his pack of smokes from the pocket of his discarded clothes before pushing himself up the bed, so his broad shoulders leaned against the headboard.

The Slayer was pacing them room, wearing only a pair of lace panties that he’d picked out for her earlier that day.

“Don’t you care that I could get pregnant?” she asked him. “And please don’t answer that if it’s not yes.”

“Of course I care,” he said, tossing the packet of unopened cigarettes aside and reaching out for her wrist, trying to pull her into an embrace. “Though I’m not sure I really mind.”

She resisted his grasp. “What does that even mean?”

“It means that just maybe it’d be a good thing if-”

“You’re not serious,” she said, not letting him finish. “We’ve barely been together two months.”

Standing up and taking hold of her firmly, he raised his voice, “Stop bloody pacing, woman! You’re gonna get us charged for wearing a hole in the carpet!”

“See,” she said, pulling away from him again, “Everything with you is just a big joke, how can-”

He grabbed hold of her more firmly this time. “Stop pushing me off, will you? I’m not joking. Where has this _‘Only been together two months’_ rot come from? Haven’t I loved you for years? Didn’t you say we were forever?”

Forcing herself to calm, she looked up into his eyes that were masked with hurt.

“I didn’t mean it to sound like that,” she said, finally letting the embrace happen. “I’m sorry. Just a little wigged here.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I noticed.”

“This is a big deal. Not really a conversation to be had while still under the influence of horny desires.”

He smiled at her, the tension gone from his body. “I know it’s a big deal, Buffy. You think this is the first time I’ve thought about it?”

“It’s the first time I’ve mentioned it.”

“Doesn’t mean the little cogs weren’t whirring already, luv. On a purely practical note, we’ve been spending a fortune on rubbers. What with our appetites being a little, um, insatiable? It’s not like the cash couldn’t be put to better use.”

She shook her head, “Again with the joking.”

“Sorry,” he said raising his hands in surrender, “I’ll be sensible from here on out. Swear.”

“When I said I want us to be forever, I meant it. I still do. But bringing another little person into the equation shouldn’t be decided on a whim.”

He sat down again, turning her around to rub her shoulders. “This isn’t a whim. Like I said, I have thought about it. And yeah, okay, I probably should have shared those thoughts with you at some point before we _‘forgot’_ , but why don’t we get to the real issue here?”

Turning back around to face him, she took a momentary glance at his penis before raising her eyes to meet his. _This conversation would be a hell of a lot less awkward with pants on_ , she thought, before shaking her head once more. “Real issue?”

“I reckon you’re scared of motherhood.”

“Damn straight!” she said, with more emphasis than she intended.

Ignoring her little outburst, Spike continued, “Being the slayer, you thought you’d never get to grow up and have regular things, no matter how much you wanted them. And what with your habit of falling for guys that couldn’t exactly give you those things on top of that, you stopped letting yourself even imagine a future with a family of your own.”

“Not true,” she said, and he gave her a quizzical look. “Knowing you can’t have something doesn’t stop you imagining. If anything, it makes you daydream of it more. But it’s when it might actually happen that how truly terrifying it all is really hits you. You should know that.”

“I do. Okay? I understand. And I’m not trying to pressure you into anything. There’s no guarantee you’d get pregnant right away anyway. Some couples try for years without ever producing a sprog. I’d say we use condoms when we have them but just let it happen anyway when we don’t. Let nature take its course and stop worrying. As I said earlier, it might even be a good thing.”

Taking a deep breath, she sat down next to her man, taking hold of his hand. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have freaked. And if… _when_ it does happen, it _will_ be a great thing. I’m sure of it.”

Smiling, he leaned down to kiss her forehead before hugging her tightly.

She ran her hands up and down his arms as he held her, teasing his flesh under her fingertips. “I think it’s time we picked up where we left off,” she said, coyly.

“Ha!” he said, backing up the bed and taking hold of his cigarettes again, “Not bloody likely.”

“Oh, come on! You can’t do that to me!”

“I can,” he said, smirking. “You shut me down. I’m not in the mood anymore.”

With that, she looked back down as his raging hard on, “Have you told that to your lower half?”

Stubbornly, he ignored her and lit up.

“Spikeee,” she said, trying to sound especially seductive. “I know you want me.”

His heart rate increased, but he refused to give her the satisfaction of admitting he couldn’t hold out very long. It was only when she reached out to take him in her hand that he let out the deep breath he’d been holding in.

“Don’t start something you’re not gonna finish, Slayer,” he warned her.

“Oh I’ll finish,” she said, climbing up his body.

Completely overcome at her advances, he paid no mind to what he was doing and let the dangling cigarette drop from his lips onto his bare chest.

“Shit!” he shouted, jumping up. “Oww, fuck!”

Buffy jumped up too, picking up the butt and throwing it into the sink before grabbing a towel and soaking it in water.

“Here,” she said, “Lay back down, adding cold water should help to soothe it a bit.”

“Uh, Buffy,” he said, looking down at his rapidly decreasing scorch mark, “Are you seeing this?”

“Yeah,” she said, “You’re healing fast, so what?”

He looked up at her, waiting for the realization to hit her.

“Wait. Why are you healing fast?”

“Excellent question. Wonder why I hadn’t thought of it,” he deadpanned.

Reaching out to touch his now smooth skin, she pulled her hand back to cover her mouth in shock. “I don’t get it. Does it still hurt?”

“Slight discomfort. Searing pain’s just… gone.”

“We gotta ask Giles about this.”

Disappointed, Spike pulled his clothes back on. “Knew shagging out of earshot of the watcher was too good to be true,” he grumbled.


	7. Exes and Exclamations

As they opened the front door to Giles’ apartment, Buffy called out to see if he was around.

“Ah, Buffy, perfect timing,” he said, appearing from the kitchen. “You have a phone call.”

“Can it wait?” asked the slayer, “We have something important for you to research.”

Without answering her, Giles pressed the receiver into her hand.

“This better be good,” she sighed. “Hello?”

“Buffy,” said the voice on the other end.

“Angel?”

Spike’s eyes grew wide.

“Why don’t you give them some privacy?” Giles asked him.

“Bugger that,” came the response as he repeatedly clenched and unclenched his fists.

Giles shook his head and took his cup of tea away to another part of the dwelling.

“What does he want?” demanded Spike.

“I don’t know, honey, and I won’t be able to find out if you don’t let me talk to him,” said Buffy, trying to pacify her boyfriend.

“He’s there?” asked Angel.

“Yes, of course he’s here. What _do_ you want?”

“I just- I heard you were together.”

“We are,” she confirmed.

“But, Buffy…”

“Yes?” she said, growing tired of the conversation already.

“What’s he saying?” asked Spike.

Buffy glared at him before catching a glimpse of fear in his eyes, alongside all the pent up aggression. Ignoring the stammering vampire on the other end of the line for a moment, she reached over to touch Spike’s face before planting a soft kiss quickly on his lips. He relaxed a little and so she slid her free hand into his, interlacing their fingers before returning her attention to the call.

“Buffy, I… I don’t think you should- I thought you were gonna-”

“Gah, Angel! Whatever you’ve got to say just spit it out already!”

“Why are you with him?”

“Because I love him. Why is this any of your business?” she answered, a little harsher than intended. Spike’s hand grasped hers more tightly and she started tracing little circles on his skin using her thumb.

“What happened to us?”

“Are you serious?” she asked, incredulous.

“Well, yeah,” he said, only to be met with a wall of stunned silence from the Slayer.

Feeling increasingly irritated, Angel carried on talking, “I thought you were over all that. Thought you’d came to your senses.”

Buffy let go of Spike’s hand and started gesticulating in anger and frustration as she raised her voice. “Where do you get off? You know nothing about what we are and, as I recall, I never promised you anything.”

“I kinda thought we were always gonna end up together, y’know. He’s not…”

“Not what, Angel? You can’t just start comments like that and then back out of them. Say it. Tell me why I’m so wrong.” She was pacing the room now, and Spike’s eyes followed her closely. He held down the desire to take the phone from her hand and hang up on her behalf.

“Fine,” said Angel, sulking. “Soul or not, I don’t think he’s good enough for you.”

At this, Buffy stopped pacing, closed her eyes and counted to ten quietly before trusting herself to speak again.

“Let me tell you a thing or two,” she said, in an even tone she was very proud of. “Firstly, it doesn’t matter what you think – at all. I _know_ he is more than good enough for me.”

“But he’s evil,” said Angel, interrupting.

“That’s bull and you know it. When YOU were evil you almost destroyed me. You tortured and killed my friends. And when you were good you broke my heart and left me. Now, Spike? When he was evil he followed me around like a lost puppy telling me he loved me until I finally let him in and he rocked my world with the most amazing multiple orgasms. Now he’s good? He’s even better than all that. So tell me again how you’re supposed to come out on top.”

Angel was stunned into silence, Spike looked on in awe, but Buffy wasn’t done yet.

“There was a time when I would have done anything for you, Angel,” she continued. “But we’re past that. You’ll always have a place in my heart, having been my first love, but that’s all you’ll be now. If you’re not happy with that then I’m sorry, I really am. But that’s not my problem.”

“Huh,” was all she heard at the other end.

“I’m gonna go now, but Angel? Tell Nina I said ‘Hi’.” She hung up and turned back around to Spike who was giving her a round of applause.

“Well bloody done, Baby.”

She shrugged, saying, “I was too harsh but I’ll apologize later.”

“You have nothing to say sorry for!” he protested.

“I know. I’m not sorry for what I said, I’m just sorry it hurt him. It was unnecessary.”

Spike shook his head at her, “That’s your fatal flaw, y’know? Being too nice to the enemy.”

“Angel is not the enemy, he’s just a little-”

“Pig-headed?” he offered.

“Yeah,” she agreed, smiling.

Closing the space between them, he took hold of her and kissed her passionately, only stopping when he heard Giles return to the kitchen.

“You had something for me to research?” he asked, leaning against the doorpost.

“Huh?” said Buffy, her mind clouded with lust.

Spike let go of her and lowered his head a little.

“Good. At least one of you has the decency to look bashful for making me have to watch you two smoosh each other, although, not quite the one I expected.”

Spike looked up again saying, “Hey, if you’re not happy with us being together we’ll go right now.”

“No, no,” said Giles, raising his hands in surrender. “Not saying you shouldn’t be… together, just not in communal areas.”

Buffy blushed and eagerly jumped back on topic now that she’d taken a moment and could think straight again.

“We need you to find out more about the prophecy that made Spike human again. Need to know exactly how it changed him.”

“Why?” asked Giles. “I mean, what’s caused the sudden interest now?”

“We, uh… we discovered that he still heals fast.”

“Hmm, that is interesting,” Giles admitted, “Any other of his vampire traits remaining?”

“Yeah, he still can do this sexy growl thing, and-” she cut herself off before saying ‘he’s still a demon in the sack,’ out loud. Again, she blushed.

Saving her a little embarrassment, Spike took over the conversation. “No other traits remaining that I’m aware of. Weak as a bloody kitten.”

Buffy let out a laugh and they both turned to her. “That’s not exactly true,” she explained. “He’s way stronger than Riley ever was, and he worked out every day.”

Giles looked perplexed, “So, you’re considerably less strong than your vampire self, but still stronger than an athletic human?”

“Guess that about sums it up,” said Buffy.

“Hmm,” said Giles again. “I’ll need my books to confirm, but if he’s just kept certain aspects of his former self, I can’t see why any of this would be a bad thing.”

“I’ll say,” said Buffy, causing Giles to grimace.

“Spike, I am only going to say this once, and Lord forgive me for doing so, but can you please take her away and give her what she needs so we can have a grown-up conversation without her every thought returning to sex?”

Spike looked at her father figure, taking a moment to enjoy how uncomfortable he was before taking Buffy’s hand and pulling her towards the bedroom to fulfill his request.

“No,” said Giles, making them stop again. “You’ll need to go elsewhere. Dawn will be home soon and I don’t have enough ear plugs for both of us.”

“You’re the boss,” Spike chuckled, lifting the Slayer up and carrying her out of the apartment again.

Setting her on her down on the mat outside, he turned to check the door was secure and when he turned back around, he found her on her knees.

“Uh, Buffy, we’re in the hallway,” he said, wondering just how overcome with lust she’d become.

“Spike,” she said, with a shaky voice. “I love you.”

He smiled. “I know, kitten. What’s gotten into you today? It’s like you’re in heat. Not that I’m complaining…”

“I want to marry you.”

“Wha?!” he stammered.

“Spike… William, I want to marry you. I’ve been trying to find the perfect time to ask.”

“And you picked the hallway after your watcher threw you out for getting a little overexcited?”

Giving a little shrug she said, “Couldn’t wait any longer. I need you in a lot of ways.”

“So you’re serious?”

“Very,” she affirmed, sounding audibly nervous.

Spike laughed, then, and she punched him in the shin.

“Hey, watch it!”

“You watch it! And don’t laugh at me.”

He knelt down on the welcome mat beside her and looked her lovingly in the eyes. “Sorry, pet, not laughing at you. I’m laughing at the fact you beat me to it. It’s been one hell of a day.”

“So…?”

“What?”

“So stop teasing me and give me an answer already!”

He grinned again. “Do I really need to answer you? Was there ever any doubt what my response would be?”

She looked away, all the answer he needed, hidden in her sudden inability to look at him.

Spike was incredulous. “Honestly? You thought I could turn _you_ down?!”

“No, I guess. Maybe. I don’t know. It wouldn’t be impossible.”

He wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, it damn well would. We’re forever, remember?”

She kissed him, long and hard in response. “Forever,” she confirmed. “Now take me back to that hotel.”


	8. Aftermath of Engagement

Spike quietly closed the door to the bedroom he shared with Buffy at Giles’ apartment, running directly into Dawn in the hallway.

“What you doin’ here, Niblet?” he asked her, whispering. “Shouldn’t you be at school?”

Dawn rolled her eyes in a way that reminded him of her sister. “It’s Saturday. Did you just get in?”

“Yeah, we’ve been out all night. Buffy’s shattered. Just popped her to bed.”

“And what about you?” she asked. When he only responded with a confused look, she clarified, “Don’t _you_ need sleep?”

“Oh …yeah,” he said, a grin stretching across his face. “Later, though, I’ve got a mission to complete first.”

Dawn knew something was up. “Do tell,” she prodded. “I love secrets. Well, the nice ones anyway, not the horrible-”

“I’m not saying a word,” Spike interrupted, before the rambling got up speed.

“But what’ll I tell Buffy if she wakes up before you’re back?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment before grinning again, more widely this time. “Tell her I’ve left her.”

“Huh? You… what?!”

“Just tell her,” said Spike, laughing to himself as he walked out the front door.

Dawn gulped and returned to her bedroom, all desire for breakfast gone.

 

\---

 

Buffy woke up with a smile on her face, which quickly fell into a frown upon her leaning across to find an empty space where her fiancé should be.

Fiancé. She could barely believe it.

With a groan, she rolled over to check the clock – 13:02 – her mouth forming a little ‘o’ shape in surprise. _Oops!_

Dragging herself out of bed, Buffy pulled clothes on before stepping out into the main apartment. Noting books strewn across every available surface in the living room, the Slayer then pulled her watcher aside, into the kitchen, away from Dawn who was staring blankly at a magazine.

Rummaging through the fruit bowl, she decided on an apple, which she then started tossing back and forth between her hands – full of nervous energy – before finally turning to her father figure. “Research confirm anything?”

“Indeed,” he said. “As I suspected, there are multiple cases of people inheriting demon traits whilst still being wholly human. You’ll recall your own experience, when you could hear thoughts?”

Buffy nodded. “Never thought about it like that. But can we be sure that the same is true for Spike? He didn’t inherit them, after all, he just kinda kept them.”

“Ah, well. Not quite,” he admitted. “Spike is a one-off. There is vague mention of demons becoming human – such as happened in the case of Anya – but I haven’t been able to find examples of demons becoming mortal while at the same time retaining an aspect of what they were. Without extensive tests, I’m afraid this is merely informed conjecture.”

“So, we can’t be sure?”

“Not fully.”

“Hmm…” she started pacing, “I guess it doesn’t make sense for the Powers That Be to only make him _part_ human. I just worry, y’know?”

“I understand,” Giles affirmed. “The unknown can be scary, but as far as I can see it, Spike was a vampire with enhanced human attributes, and now the opposite is true. Truly unique.”

“Totally,” said Buffy. “I like the attributes. Don’t want it to sound like I’m complaining – because really, _really_ , not – I just want to understand. He’s gone through this whole big thing, and I can’t get my head around it.”

Giles just smiled, not knowing what else to tell her.

She gave a small shrug before biting into her now heavily bruised apple and walking back to the lounge to join her sister.

“I’ve got some news for you,” she told her, instantly putting the earlier topic from her mind. “Have you seen Spike? He’ll wanna be here for this.”

“Umm…” Dawn began, averting her sister’s gaze.

Buffy looked at her suspiciously, wondering how she’d ever been able to hide Spike’s resurrection from her when it was usually so obvious when she was hiding something – like now. Buffy gave her a little nudge. “Come on, spill. What’s up?”

“Well… I saw him, before? After he dropped you off. He left a message.”

“Okay,” said Buffy, raising an eyebrow in a way not unlike her lover.

“He… uh… he told me to tell you. That, um…”

Buffy’s face grew serious just looking at the stress of her baby sister. “Tell me it wasn’t something inappropriate. Because, lover or not, I’ll kick his ass.”

“No! No. Nothing like that,” Dawn reassured her. “Because gross. He said… Well, he said to tell you he left.”

There was a pause, then, “Huh?”

Dawn took a deep breath. “Spike told me to tell you that he left you.”

“Oh,” the Slayer said then, before breaking out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter.

Dawn’s eyes looked panicked, and a little furrow appeared between her eyes as she tried to figure out what the hell was going on. _Has he really sent her over the edge this time?_

Buffy continued to laugh until her abs hurt, only able to speak one word at a time while gasping for breath. “He – pahaha! - He said… He left me?” then she fell over and Dawn went to her side.

“What’s wrong with you?” she demanded, hands on hips.

“Sorry!” said Buffy, still gasping. “Just, so funny! The funniest thing I’ve heard since… since-” she paused again for a moment, thinking “Since Harmony got minions!”

Giles walked back into the living room at that point, throwing a questioning glance at Dawn who could nothing but shrug back at him in response.

It took Buffy another five minutes to calm down. Again she apologized. “I just couldn’t help myself.”

“Buffy,” said Dawn, tentatively, trying to get sense from her, “You’re sure he was joking? It doesn’t sound very much like-”

“Oh, you told her then?” came a voice from the hallway, as Spike opened the front door and sauntered in to join in the discussion.

“Yeah, I…” Dawn began, not really knowing where to go from there.

Spike ignored her anyway, as he moved across to kiss Buffy hello. “Thought it might tickle you.”

“Oh,” she said in response. “It did. I needed a good laugh.”

Giles shook his head but Dawn was irritated. “You guys think it’s funny to joke about breaking up? You’re both deranged. You need to see someone about getting a proper sense of humor!”

Spike just smiled at her and pointed out that, as the only one looking grumpy, it was perhaps her place to get her sense of humor looked at.

“Whatever,” she huffed, annoyed with herself for taking him so seriously and worrying herself sick when everyone knew he’d find it impossible to walk away from Buffy.

She got up to leave but Buffy called her back, “Hey, I said I had news for you.”

The Slayer looked at Spike, “I can tell her, right?”

“Allow me,” he said, producing a tiny square box from his coat pocket and handing it to Dawn. “Look what I got your sister.”

The girl’s eyes widened – all annoyance and stress instantly vanished. “This is a-! Oh my god!” she squealed. “Giles, look! This is an engagement ring!”

“Yes, yes, I can see that,” said Giles, surprised, and not for the first time, that Dawn could be so high pitched.

“Can I try it on?” she asked, but Spike shook his head and retrieved the box from her.

“Slayer hasn’t even had a proper look yet, Niblet.”

As he handed it to her and she gazed down in awe, almost scared to touch it, Dawn questioned him, “You proposed without a ring, before?”

“Actually, no,” Buffy piped up, finding her voice again. “I asked him. Spike, this is beautiful!”

He leaned down to kiss her lightly before saying, “Only the best for my girl.”

She was touched. She’d never felt so loved, but part of her worried if they could really afford the simple white gold band with solitaire diamond. Finally, tough, she decided she didn’t care. It was hers and she was keeping it.

“Did you spend all the savings for the new apartment?” she asked him, softly.

“No,” he said. “There’s some left. And,” – he took a wad of folded paper out of his back pocket and handed it to her – “I did some searching and there’s a few places around that only need small deposits. Bit far outta town, though.”

Buffy looked through the brochures and had to stop herself from crying. He tried so hard to give her everything she wanted, and it meant so much. Standing up, she pulled him close and told him she loved him, letting the pages fall to the ground in doing so.

Dawn picked them up and had a quick look herself before glancing back at Giles, silently asking him for permission to speak. He smiled and nodded, so she cleared her throat and the couple moved apart to sit down again – Spike first, then Buffy in his lap.

“You wanted to say something, pet?”

“We want you to have your say,” Buffy told Dawn, “This all affects you too, and we should be together on this.”

Dawn grinned at them both, briefly wondering if she’d ever be that in love. “Giles and me figured you’d be wanting to get a place soon, so…” she cleared her throat a second time. “We, uh… I was actually wondering if I could stay living here. Giles says he doesn’t mind, and be both agreed it might be better to give you some space, as a couple?”

Spike was silent, but Buffy couldn’t hold in her emotions anymore. Slowly, tears ran down her cheeks and he reached up to wipe them away with the pad of his thumb.

“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice sounding a little shaky. “That’s what you wanna do? You don’t feel pushed out, because we do want you. Love you more than anything!”

“Yeah, Buffy, don’t worry,” said Dawn. “It’s cool. I feel loved and secure and all that. I think this just works out the best for us all, for the moment anyway.”

Spike interjected, then, asking Giles if he really was okay with it.

“I am,” he confirmed. “I agree with Dawn that it seems the most practical for her to stay on here, while I have empty rooms, and for you too to enjoy being young and together.”

“Oh, you guys,” said Buffy, standing up again so she could hug each of them. “Thank you! You’re all just the best family.”


	9. Part Two - The Next Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About three months have passed between the last chapter and this new section.

Domesticity

Buffy groaned, half waking up. “What’s that noise?” she asked, her voice thick, as she looked at the clock – 2am.

Spike was alert, having heard it too. Whatever it was automatically put him in combat mode. “I’ll go check it out,” he said, kissing her forehead, “You rest.”

“Uh-huh,” she mumbled, sleepily closing her eyes again. But when he left their bed she felt the loss of him beside her and couldn’t get back to sleep.

Twenty minutes later, he re-entered the room and she was sitting up, waiting for him.

“Doesn’t look much like resting,” he commented, taking a seat beside her.

She ignored his fussing, asking, “Was there a demon? I got tinglies.”

“Yeah, just a Xerox. Got rid of him.”

Buffy frowned, “Xerox? Like the printers? Because I’m pretty sure the one in work is possessed. Had this dream it was chasing me all over the office. Hey! Maybe it was a slayer dream!”

“Not quite,” Spike chuckled. “More horns, less ink.”

“Oh”, she said, slumping down into the comforter again. “Well, you killed it, right?”

Spike shrugged, saying, “Just calmly explained that he was disturbing my misses and he understood.”

Buffy sat up again, “What?!”

“Don’t worry, luv. I took his head off.”

“Oh, good. Well, I hope you didn’t try to feed it down the garbage disposal this time.”

Spike looked guilty for a minute, then rose to his feet again, “I’ll be back.”

Buffy shook her head but was smiling. “Silly ex-vampire,” she muttered, as he left the room.

 

\---

 

Buffy ran in the front door to the apartment she shared with Spike, excited to share her news. She found him in the hallway, talking to Giles, but ignored the watcher and jumped straight into her lover’s arms shouting, “Guess what!” and then adding, “I got a promotion!” before he had time to.

“That’s brilliant, luv,” he beamed at her. “Bloody brilliant! I got a mobile.”

“A-” she paused, letting go of him. “What?”

“A cell phone,” Giles translated to American for her.

“Oh, cool. Hey Giles!” she took the device from Spike’s hands to inspect it, not looking up at her watcher. “Where’d you get it?”

“Watcher’s old one,” Spike answered. “He upgraded.”

“Aww,” she looked at them both, now, “My boys entering the 21st century, who’d of thought it?!”

Spike rolled his eyes before picking Buffy up again. “Didn’t mean to steal your thunder, pet. My news’ slightly less important.”

“Didn’t steal,” she said, quickly planting a peck on his nose, “All good news only adds to thunder.”

“I’m sure we’d all like to hear about your promotion, Buffy. Shall I bring Dawn around to celebrate and get all the ‘goss’?” asked Giles, grimacing at his own mimicking use of teenage slang.

Buffy was about to agree when Spike interjected. “Not tonight, Rupes. We’ve got other celebrations to deal with first.”

“Oh?” asked Giles and Buffy in unison, making Spike’s face dropped a little.

“You didn’t remember,” he accused his partner. “I said you would and you protested.” – then he began smiling again, as a thought struck him – “Does this mean I get a forfeit?”

The cogs were almost visibly turning in Buffy’s mind, trying to figure out what he was talking about, but after silence dragged on for a moment or two – only broken by questioning glances thrown at her ex-watcher – Spike became impatient, pulled a small envelope from his back pocket and handed it to the Slayer.

She opened it carefully, not fully convinced something wasn’t going to shoot out at her, but when she finally prized the card from its envelope and read the words inside. she was flooded with emotion.

“Oh, Spike! I’m sorry I forgot. This is… it’s lovely. Did you write it?”

“No,” he admitted. “It’s Wordsworth. Nothin’ of mine would have been good enough.”

Buffy hugged him tightly before letting go so she could read the poem again.

Giles coughed, then, drawing the attention back to him.

“Sorry, should explain,” said Spike, “It’s our sixth month anniversary.”

“Ah,” the older man nodded. “Of course. Promotion celebration tomorrow instead, then?”

“Sure,” said Buffy, not lifting her eyes from the card.

“Right, then. I’ll be going.”

“Thanks for dropping the phone round, Rupes,” Spike said as he closed the door behind him.

Turning back round to his girl, he saw the beginnings of tears in her eyes. “Baby,” he said, cuddling her into himself. “It’s just a few poxy lines. No need to get all emotional on me, eh?”

“It’s not just that,” she sniffed. “I forgot. I tried not to. Don’t want you to think that I love you any less than you do me.”

“Hush, now,” he whispered, stroking her face, “I don’t think that. This is a happy time. No more tears.”

Buffy smiled and nodded, “Sorry. I’ll all emotion-gal these days, don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing wrong, pet,” he assured her, “You jus’ never got the luxury of having time to feel things properly before; always some apocalypse or other to distract you. Always had to be strong.”

“Yeah,” she said, shrugging off the last bit of guilt, “I guess.”

“Good,” he grinned. “Now, about my forfeit…”


	10. The Old Gang Get Together

Buffy had the week off work and it was a good job, seeing as her activities with Spike had left her with practically zero sleep. They were only up an hour before Dawn arrived and started hanging banners and inflating balloons.

“Have you guys done _anything_ with this place?” she asked, looking at all the stacked boxes in the corner of the room, “You’ve been here ages.”

“Haven’t had time for it,” said Spike, winking at the Slayer.

“Eww,” said Dawn, not wanting to think about what they’d been distracted with.

“Do we really need decorations?” asked Buffy, changing the subject. “It’s only a promotion.”

Dawn laughed nervously. “Yeah… about that.”

Instantly the slayer was on guard. “Dawn. What have you planned?”

“Well, umm… It’s been noted that you never really had a flat-warming party. And did you really think you could get away without us celebrating your birthday?”

Buffy was duly horrified, “My birthday is cursed, remember?!”

“S’not cursed, Slayer,” said Spike.

“Yes. Yes it is! You said so yourself the year we got trapped in the house and could have starved to death!”

Spike was going to point out that he probably wouldn’t have starved for a good long while when Dawn interjected saying, “It’s too late now. Everyone will be here soon.”

“ _Everyone?_ Who is everyone?!” Buffy was beginning to panic. “I’m not prepared for guests. Dawn, you could have warned me!”

“You would have just said no. And, plus, Spike said it was okay.”

The Slayer turned on her fiancé. “You agreed to this?”

“Thanks for dropping me in it, Niblet,” he said before pulling his wound up bride-to-be into his arms and whispering reassurances in her ear.

Eventually calmed, Buffy once again asked who she was expecting and was surprised to hear that Xander and Willow were both flying in from the US.

“Giles has gone to pick them up from the airport,” Dawn informed her.

“Right, so, six of us. Or is Willow bringing Kennedy?”

“Willow and the bird broke up months ago, luv,” said Spike. “You didn’t know?”

“I, uh… I guess not. Has been a while since we talked,” she admitted, feeling guilty.

“Guess I’ve been caught up.”

“You have,” confirmed Dawn, but there was no tone of bitterness in it.

“Think we both deserved some time to simply be caught up in our own lives,” Spike reassured her.

Buffy nodded, the guilt lessened but not completely gone. “Anything else major I should be aware of?” she asked, but the doorbell rang before either of them had a chance to answer her.

 

The Slayer opened her front door and was faced with a gigantic stuffed bear. Hidden behind it, somewhere, was Andrew.

Pushing his way in, he handed the bear to Buffy before rushing up and hugging the ex-vampire enthusiastically.

“Watch it,” said Spike, shrugging him off.

Immediately, Andrew’s attention passed to the younger Summers girl, but Dawn held up her hands before he moved to envelop her too. “No cuddling,” she insisted.

He just nodded and smiled. “What’s with the boxes? Didn’t you move in like three months ago?”

“Yes,” said Buffy, handing him back the oversized toy and taking her man in her own arms, protectively. “How did you know?”

“Oh, you know me,” was all he said in explanation.

Spike was about to say ‘ _Wish I bloody well didn’t_ ’ but Buffy gave him a stern look before he even opened his mouth.

“We weren’t expecting you,” she said, trying to sound cheery. “Are you still based in Rome?”

“Yeah. It’s fun. Is Willow going to be here?”

As if on cue, the doorbell rang again. Without being asked to, Andrew answered it and was met face to face with the redhead Witch, who looked somewhat shocked.

“Andrew… hey. Hi.”

“Andrew’s here?” asked Xander, who was coming up the hallway behind her, carrying luggage.

“Yeah,” Willow answered him. “Uhh, Buffy?”

“Right here,” called the Slayer. “Andrew, are you gonna move and let the others in?”

Reluctantly, he shifted to the side a little and Willow and Xander entered, each giving Buffy a tight hug. Finally Giles appeared at the door, just as Andrew was about to shut it.

“Great, all here!” said Buffy, turning to lead the way into the living room.

“Wait!” demanded Andrew, and they all turned to look at him. “Willow, I uhh… can we talk?”

The Witch blushed and looked towards Xander, who was giving her a quizzical look, before she looked back at Andrew. “I’m sure we can catch up in a bit. Once we’ve put down our things.”

“Right,” he agreed, looking momentarily dejected before perking right up again. “I’ll help you set up your beds.”

“Beds?” balked Buffy. “Who’s got beds?”

“No one,” said Xander. “We’re sleeping on your couches.”

“ _Spike_ ,” Buffy turned around to glare at him, “Did we know they were sleeping here?”

He directed his eyes own glare at Dawn, “No. We didn’t, as it happens.”

Dawn rolled her eyes, “Second thoughts, guys. You can stay with me and Giles.”

Giles sighed, causing Dawn to remember she hadn’t asked him for permission either.

“Probably for the best,” he conceded, regardless.

“Why’s that?” asked Xander, innocently.

“They can get kinda loud,” whispered Willow, not quietly enough, making everyone look at her. “Well it’s true.

“Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable with this conversation,” she noted, a moment later, clearly looking around for a distraction. “Hey, Andrew, where are you staying?”

“I’ve got a hotel room.”

The words “Oh thank God,” were out of Willow’s mouth before she knew what she was saying.


	11. Party Time

Once everyone had a drink in their hand, and some pizzas were on their way, everyone sat down in the small living room – Xander, Willow, and Giles on one couch, facing Andrew and Dawn on the smaller couch, and Spike sitting on the floor with Buffy on his lap – Buffy opened up conversation. “So, what’s everybody up to these days? We really need to see each other more.”

“Giles is back with Olivia,” declared Dawn, and the ex-watcher looked mortified.

“That was supposed to be private,” he chided.

“Oh, come on,” she said in retort. “I bet we’ll all be at _your_ wedding in like a year, tops.”

Off Giles’ then panicked look, Xander turned back to Buffy asking, “Speaking of weddings, you guys set a date yet?”

“Actually… I guess that’s another thing we can celebrate.”

Dawn squealed at the implication. “Ahhh, yes! Is it soon?!”

“It’s soon,” Buffy confirmed, before looking at Spike, “We didn’t want to wait anymore.”

Purely thinking of the practicalities, Willow asked, “How soon is soon? You should have told us! I mean, what happens if we’re not free to come?”

Suddenly, all three women were pouting. Xander and Giles just looked at each other, not daring to open their mouths. Finally, Spike rolled his eyes and waded into the conversation he and Buffy had been trying to put off.

“Thing is,” he said. “We can’t really afford a big do. And that’s not really what we want anyway. Don’t reckon it suits us, do we, luv?”

Buffy nodded, and although he’d said it himself, and it had been her idea for a simple, quiet ceremony in the first place, he couldn’t help but feel guilty that he couldn’t give her more.

“So what are you saying?” asked Dawn.

“He’s saying that we’re gonna have something private. Just the two of us. And then, later, when everyone’s in town again, and we’ve saved up a little, we’re gonna have a big party at that point.”

“You sure that’s what you want, Buff?” Xander asked, making Spike’s jaw automatically tense.

“It is,” she reassured both of them, giving Spike’s hand a little squeeze, “Really.”

Dawn was still frowning, a little, but eventually said, “Well, I wish I could be bridesmaid, but I’m happy for you two, so I’ll let you buy me off with my choice of your wedding presents.”

Buffy chuckled, “Deal.”

“But not if it’s brandy,” Spike added, glancing at Giles with pleading eyes. “Please let there be brandy.”

“Focus, Spike,” said Buffy, clicking her fingers in front of his face.

“Yes,” said Giles, not wanting to promise away any of his beloved collection of finely aged spirits, “Back on topic. What date have you settled on?”

“Valentine’s Day,” they said in unison. Dawn squealed again.

Giles had thought he wouldn’t need to keep wearing earplugs once he got the Slayer and her overly vocal fiancé out of his apartment, but he’d been wrong. The decibels Dawn reached while having animated conversations with her friends dug straight through his skull. _‘Will definitely need to hold on to my brandy,’_ he thought.

“Isn’t Valentine’s Day a little, oh, cliché?” Xander interjected, but Willow simply told him to shut up.

“Where’s it gonna be?” she asked, by means of distraction.

Buffy huffed a little. “He won’t tell me. Say’s it a surprise.”

“Spike’s a closet romantic?” balked Xander. “Who knew?”

All three girls, plus Andrew, raised their hands and suddenly the carpenter fell silent again.

 

Later, Buffy cornered Willow, her curiosity not able to take it anymore. “What’s with you and Andrew? You’re all avoid-y.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Buff.”

The Slayer’s eyes narrowed. “There’s definite tension. Don’t dare lie to me.” Willow hung her head, and Buffy softened, “I didn’t mean to guilt trip you. Well, not that much, anyway. Is everything okay?”

Finally making eye contact, Willow said, “Yeah. It’s just… we all have thing’s we’re not proud of, right? I mean, you slept with Spike for months and didn’t tell anyone.”

Buffy cringed at the reminder. She still felt bad about that. “Okay?” she ground out.

“Well, uh… me and Andrew- we kinda, did some stuff?”

The Slayer’s jaw dropped open, “Really?”

“It was one night. I was bummed after breaking up with Kennedy. We were researching and, and… I just don’t know,” she looked really distressed, and Buffy felt bad for her.

“Hey,” she said, lightly touching her arm in comfort. “It’s okay. You’re adults. There’s no shame.”

“You sure?” she gulped. “Andrew’s not exactly-”

“Andrew is… a lot of things. But I think he’s a good guy, deep down. Just because you don’t want to be with him doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

“Thanks Buffy,” said Willow, genuinely appreciative of getting it off her chest, “God! How did you even keep you and Spike quiet? That was tearing me apart.”

Buffy looked guilty again, but Spike walked up behind her and laced his arms around her waist before answering on her behalf. “Slayer was confused, and scared. Doesn’t matter.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to drag up-”

“S’okay, Red,” he said, giving her a small smile. “Really doesn’t matter.”

Willow nodded and headed back to the main room.

Buffy turned around in her lover’s arms and looked up at him - searched his eyes for any hint of upset at the bad memories - but only found love. They kissed, and Buffy felt her guilt melt away. She’d known for a long time that he’d forgiven her, but it was nice to have reassurance every once in a while.

“Guest anxiety and awkwardness aside,” she said, “I’m having fun. It’s nice to have my friends back. So good that I can have you, and them, and this place.”

“Considerin’ us pretty lucky, myself,” he said, in between kisses. “Is this too good to be true?”

Buffy slapped his arm lightly saying, “It is now you’ve jinxed it!”


	12. Upsetting the Applecart

Spike exited the kitchen with a fresh beer and walked over to where Buffy sat. “We’re running out of cold ones,” he told her, before glancing briefly at the small notepad she had in her hand. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” she answered, shutting the pad and sliding it under the couch.

Spike cocked an eyebrow at her, but was then distracted by yet another knock at the door.

“That better be pizza,” he exclaimed, getting up to answer it. “Any more guests and it’ll be standing room only.” Buffy ignored his grousing until she heard his exclamation of “Peaches!” from the hallway and forced herself to her feet.

When she reached the front door, Spike was taunting the Vampire - telling him, in no uncertain terms, “’m not inviting you in.”

Buffy rolled her eyes before looking at Angel. “You _are_ Angel, right? Not Angelus?”

“Of course I’m Angel!” he insisted, “Will you please get bleach-boy outta my face and gimmie a proper welcome?”

“Can’t blame me for checking,” said Buffy, shrugging.

“What?” said Spike, “Simply asking him doesn’t prove a damn thing!” He turned back to the brooding figure. “Go on, say something soulful.”

“Will you stop it?” said Buffy, shaking her head. “We have no reason to believe he’s gone evil.”

“Yeah!” Angel agreed, sneering at him.

“Shut up,” both Spike and Buffy told him in unison.

Then Buffy added, “God, you’re both so immature. Making it rub off on me.” Sighing, she tried a new tact. “Spike, honey, if you don’t wanna invite Angel in then fine. I’m just gonna go outside and talk to him there.”

“But-” he interjected.

“No,” she said, holding up a finger in warning. “You don’t tell me what to do.”

Angel grinned at the exchange but then she turned on him saying, “Don’t be too happy. If you’re here to have the conversation I think we’re gonna have then I’m probably gonna end up kicking you. Fair warning.”

Frowned, Angel said nothing but gestured for her to come outside anyway. She did, but not before telling Spike to return to their guests and tell Andrew to do a beer run.

“No peeping through the spy hole. Let me deal with this, okay? Trust me.”

Spike glowered at both of them but did as Buffy asked.

 

Upon stalking back to guests to give Andrew his orders, Spike saw the boy being pulled off into the bathroom by Willow for their ‘chat’ and Xander headed his way with a purposeful look in his eye.

“Oh bollocks.”

 

\---

 

As soon as the front door was shut, Angel jumped right into his conversation with Buffy.

“It’s not too late,” he told her.

True to her word, the Slayer delivered a kick to the Vampire’s shin before gently massaging her temples in preparation for her incoming stress and asking, “Too late for what? Me to walk out on the man I love? Or for me to give us one last chance?”

Tilting his head a little, Angel silently implied both.

“You are unbelievable. Really. You came all this way… How deluded are you? Actually, scratch that. I’ve given you plenty of reason over the years that _maybe_ someday we’d find a way to be together, despite finally realizing the truth of it-” He went to interrupt her, but she held up her hand to silence him until she was done. “I changed my mind, Angel. When I swore to always be your girl, I was wrong. And I have every right to go against that now, but if you’re unwilling to see that, then let’s talk about the other issues here. I think a part of you only wants me now because it’s Spike I’m marrying. Tell me, honestly, do you hate him that much?”

“Buffy, come on.”

“No, you come on! This is cruel. Do you have any idea how much what you’re saying would destroy him? Have you no compassion?!”

“It’s not like he would expect any different…”

“Cut the crap. You know how much he loves me, even if you can’t admit it. If I was here now waiting to take my vows with Riley would we even be having this conversation?”

He was silent at that, no longer looking at her.

Buffy shook her head, simultaneously holding back tears and looking disgusted. “You don’t get to have me, Angel. God! When are you gonna get that?! You don’t _deserve_ me. I loved you so much, but you hurt me so much more. Do you remember that time, I said I wanted my life to be with you, and you said you didn’t? Well that’s it, isn’t it?! You left. It was _your_ choice. Now you have to deal with it. I refuse to feel bad because I’ve found love with someone who will never do that to me. Go lay your guilt trips somewhere else. I’ll take your calls when the next apocalypse comes. Until then? I’m done.”

She turned to leave, but he pulled her back. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I never knew you felt that strongly.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows at him, “You think I could be talked into a relationship? Have we met? Do you know me at all?”

Angel pouted, glancing at the floor again. “Spike can be really persuasive.” Silence fell between them, before he recanted, “Fine. I knew you must love him to be doing this. I just…” he broke off into a mumble.

“What?” Buffy demanded.

Angel sighed, before repeating himself more clearly. “I didn’t want to believe it.”

“Thank you,” she said, genuinely.

His eyes shot back up to meet hers, shocked. “What for?”

“For finally dropping the pretense and just being honest with me.”

“I was kinda childish, huh?”

She smiled. “Yeah. You and Spike kinda bring that out in each other, but, really, I’m flattered.”

“You are?”

“I am,” she confirmed, “But let’s never have this conversation again. Never _ever_ again, okay?”

“Okay,” he agreed, then hesitated. “Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Make sure he makes you happy.”

“I will,” she promised, “And he does.”

He gave a nod before saying, “This really wasn’t worth the airfare.”

She had to chuckle at that. “Take care,” she told him, as he turned to go.

 

The Slayer returned to her living room to find Giles telling her sister about appropriate topics of conversation, and about how his “romantic affairs,” were not one of them. She giggled a little at Dawn’s eye rolling, but that only turned the older man on her.

“Don’t encourage her, Buffy, please.”

Trying to straighten her face, Buffy nodded and agreed, “Better do as he says. Don’t want him to kick you out.”

“Glad you’re both taking this so seriously,” Giles snarked in return, before waving in the direction of the kitchen, “If you’re looking for Spike, he’s in there, having a heart-to-heart with Xander.”

“Uh oh!” was all she said, deciding to not get involved unless one of them started screaming.


	13. Male Bonding, Jet Lag, and Pizza

Willow shut the door as Andrew started looking around the bathroom distractedly.

“I thought this place would be bigger,” he said, as much to himself as to her, before lifting a purple colored rubber duck and beginning to inspect the shelf where it had sat.

“Will you stop that?!” said Willow, snatching the duck from him and setting it down again. “You’re right. We need to talk. Andrew, hey, look at me!”

“The thing is,” he started to say while glancing at his feet. “I don’t think we’re gonna work.”

“No, we’re gonna – wait, what?”

Finally looking her straight in the eyes, Andrew nodded apologetically. “I’m sorry, Willow. I knew you’d take this hard, but I just don’t think we’re right for each other.”

“You don’t think, period!” she spat back at him.

“There’s no need to get angry,” he said, gesticulating. “I’m just trying to be open and honest.”

Willow’s brow furrowed, “You think I came here to tell you I want us to be together? Andrew-”

“No,” he said, cutting her off as he went for the door, “I’ve made my choice and it’s final. You’ll just have to respect it and move on.”

When he walked out, Willow just stood there for a moment, completely befuddled, before finally muttering to herself, “That’s not how I expected that to go,” and exiting the room herself.

 

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Xander was trying to find words for his own awkward conversation. Having difficulty, he opened with small talk. “This place rent controlled?” he asked, “Wouldn’t wanna lose it if the market skyrockets again.”

Spike just glared at him, “What exactly is it you want, Harris?”

“Right, cutting to the chase, that’s just like you.”

“That a criticism? How original coming from _you_ ,” Spike retorted.

“Wasn’t, actually,” admitted the carpenter, and Spike quirked his eyebrow at him. “Yeah, first time for everything.”

“What? You’re gonna be nice to me now I’m getting’ hitched to the Slayer?”

“Spike,” Xander began, “This isn’t easy for me. Not being able to admit my faults is actually pretty high up there on my list of faults.”

“Okay,” said Spike, gesturing for him to carry on.

“I was wrong about you,” Xander blurted out, and Spike was dumbfounded. Whatever he expected, it hadn’t been that. Carrying on, the carpenter admitted that Spike had changed, and he couldn’t deny it anymore. “I think, the way you are now… I actually think you’re good for Buffy.”

“Happen to agree,” said Spike. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because it needed to be said. This can’t just be another occasion when I’ve run away from the truth.”

“More to that sentence than you’re lettin’ on, I’d wager,” Spike noted.

Xander nodded in agreement. “Had a lot of time to think, since I lost Ahn. Not at first, of course, there was too much alcohol involved for me to think clearly at all.”

“Speaking of,” said Spike, pulling a bottle of Jack Daniels from a kitchen cupboard, “Want some?”

“Nah. Just… just let me say this. Okay?”

Spike shrugged, pouring some for himself.

“Part of me envies you.”

“Knew that already, Whelp,” Spike snorted. “You always wanted Buffy, didn’t you?”

Hanging his head a little Xander agreed, “Yeah. But it’s more than that now.”

That made Spike stand up a bit straighter. “What the bloody hell does that mean?”

“It means that you loved Buffy, and she died but came back to you. Same for her. She got you back, and part of me is wondering… hoping-”

“That Anya will rise once more,” Spike finished for him, suddenly flooded with empathy.

“I know it’s not gonna happen. But part of me just can’t give up hope, y’know?”

“I know,” Spike agreed.

“Should have treated her better while she was here,” he said, slamming his fist down on the counter. “I should have married her, not run away like a scared little boy. That’s what she called me, right? After you two… I’ve played it over in my head a thousand times. So much it doesn’t even seem real anymore.”

“Xander- ” Spike started to say, but the brunette shook his head, cutting him off.

“I looked back further, after that,” he said, “Started thinking about Cordy, and Willow. And, yeah, even Buffy. I’ve treated them all badly, at some point. And then – this is what really gets me – I didn’t learn my lesson. When Anya’s death really, _fully_ , hit me I got drunk, got some co-ed pregnant and then bullied her into having an abortion,” he took a deep breath, before asking, “God, what’s wrong with me?”

Spike genuinely didn’t know how to answer that, so he remained stoic, trying to process all the information Xander was throwing at him.

Xander continued, filling the silence, “So I came here to tell you that I was wrong. That I’ve been wrong for a very long time. I thought I was better than you but, really? You’re more of a man than I’ve ever been.”

“Seems to me, Harris, that realizing that was your first right move,” said Spike, gripping him hard on one shoulder. “Do appreciate what you’re saying. An’ know it’s been hard. But you’ll get there.”

Xander looked up at him – his eyes watering, but no tears spilling over – and Spike repeated, “You’ll get there,” before they embraced.

 

When Spike and Xander left the kitchen Buffy started inspecting them for wounds. “Seem to both be in one piece. Have you been playing nice?”

“Yes, Miss,” said Spike, taking hold of her round the waist, before leaning forward to whisper in her ear, “Won’t be so good when I’ve got alone, later.”

“Spike!” Buffy exclaimed, slapping his arm as her face went red.

“Think that’s our cue to go,” said Xander, with a small smile.

“What? No!” Dawn protested, “You’ve barely been here two hours.”

Sensing her best friend wasn’t really in the party mood anymore, Willow put a hand on Dawn’s shoulder and said, “I think Xander’s right. We need rest, jet lag and all, but can catch up on the way to your place. And will come back here tomorrow, to say goodbye before flying back.”

“You’re flying back so soon?” asked Buffy, pouting.

“Afraid so,” said Willow, looking apologetic, “Both of us have got work.”

Perkily, Andrew interjected by informing everyone he could stay around until the weekend.

“Right, well. That’s good then,” said Spike. It was meant to be sarcastic, but the boy just smiled at him.

Ignoring the exchange, Buffy hugged Willow and Xander, plus Dawn and Giles, and told them to come by when they felt fully rested. “Err, maybe you should call first, though.”

“Will do,” the Witch confirmed. “Good to see you, Spike.”

“You too, Red,” he replied as they left, Andrew trailing behind.

 

As soon as the front door shut, the doorbell rang, and both Buffy and Spike stared at it, incredulous.

“Who in the bloody he-” Spike started to say before opening up again and seeing a nervous pizza delivery boy before him. “You’re late,” he informed him, taking the boxes, “We’ll be having this on the house.”

The boy started to protest but Spike just shut the door on him and walked to the bedroom – lifting Buffy under one arm as he went.

 

Three hours later, the couple sat up in bed and started tucking into cold pizza.

“One day into my week off and already my sleep schedule is messed up,” Buffy complained.

“Would you rather I let you get more rest?” Spike asked her.

She considered it for a moment, and then replied, “Who needs sleep anyway?”

Spike chuckled, reaching forward to wipe some sauce off his fiancé’s face with the pad of his thumb, and then placing it in her mouth for her to suck.

“Mmm,” she moaned, “How do you do that?”

“Do what, luv?” he asked her, taking a new slice of pizza and feeding it to her.

“Make every little action so intimate,” said Buffy, smiling.

“It’s a talent, I guess.”

“God! It’s no reason you’re arrogant.”

“’M not arrogant!” he protested, and she just looked at him. “Well, okay, maybe a bit.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and kissed him. Soon the pizza was forgotten again, as they resumed their earlier activity.


	14. Friends and Lovers

The phone woke Buffy just after 6am. Glancing at Spike, she saw he was dead to the world - figuratively speaking.

“Hello?” she croaked into the receiver.

“Hey Buffy!” said Willow, excitedly. “I know it’s early, but I’m all out of sync. Are you ready to start the day?”

“Umm…” the Slayer drawled. “Yeah. Just… let me rest my eyes, a little bit more.”

“Wow, Buffy, you sound beat! Were you out patrolling all night?”

“No,” she said, yawning, “Don’t patrol these days unless I get an itch; there’s young… uh, young slayers for that.”

“Oh,” said Willow, then – much louder – “Oh! You were… you must have been! Sorry, Buffy. I’ll let you sleep. I’ll hang out with Dawn for a few hours and come over around noon, okay?”

“Uh huh,” said Buffy before hanging up and snuggling against Spike.

“Was that the phone?” he asked her.

“Think so,” she replied, already half asleep again.

 

At 12.01pm there was a knock at Spike and Buffy’s apartment door. Four minutes later, the Slayer opened it – wearing black shorts and one of Spike’s t-shirts – looking somewhat disheveled.

“Hey Willow,” she said, rubbing her eyes.

“Uh, hey,” said the Witch, timidly, before stepping inside. “I’ve just woken you again, haven’t I?”

“No,” Buffy lied.

“Sorry, Buff,” Willow apologized. “If I was hanging around I’d say take all the time in the world.”

“It’s okay. Really,” she reassured her, “I have the whole rest of my week to spend in bed with Spike.”

“Hallelujah!” the ex-vampire cried from the bedroom, making both girls laugh.

Pulling her friend in for a tight hug, Buffy said, “Really is good to see you, Will.”

“You too!” the Witch agreed, becoming giddy, “Guess what we have planned for you today!”

“Hope it’s something nice and relaxing,” Spike chimed in, having strolled into the living room to join them, “Slayer deserves a treat.”

“Wait, who is ‘we’?” asked Buffy as she leaned into Spike’s embrace.

It seemed they couldn’t pass each other without touching or planting a chaste kiss somewhere (sometimes not so chaste…). Willow was awed by it.

“Dawn and I are taking you to get your nails done – manicure and pedicure – then lunch, then big shopping,” she said, before adding, “Giles is footing the bill.”

Buffy’s eyes lit up, “Is there a limit?”

“Nope,” Willow answered, beaming back at her.

Spike grinned at both of them as they squealed and hugged again.

“Okay, am gonna shower. Then coffee, _then_ nails. K?”

Willow nodded enthusiastically, before turning to Spike. “What are you gonna do today?”

He groaned and gestured towards a stack of papers on the coffee table, “Big battle with application forms continues.”

“You’re finding it difficult to get a job?”

“Not exactly qualified for anything, am I Red?”

Willow simply frowned in response.

Continuing, Spike admitted that it was getting to him, not being able to pay his share of the bills. “Slayer says she doesn’t mind, and I believe her, I just wish I could do more for her, y’know?”

With a little smile Willow said, “You’ve given her more than any other man has – alive or dead. Father figure or romantic interest – for once, she’s stable. Not scared of being alone. Spike, look how happy you’ve made her!”

“Guess you’re right,” he conceded, now with a smile of his own, “Thanks.”

“Welcome,” she stated.

“So how’s life? How long have you been back in the homeland?”

“Good,” Willow answered, doing a quick mental calculation, “About four months.”

“Right,” he nodded. “An’ it was Brazil before that?”

“It was,” she confirmed, sullenly. “Didn’t really wanna stick around after the big Kennedy break up. Plus, we’d almost located all of the South American Slayers by that point anyway.”

Spike sighed in response, thinking about his own Brazilian breakup – one of the best things to ever happen to him, he figured. Not that he thought so at the time.

“It’s strange how time changes things,” he mused, out loud, and the Witch nodded, also looking introspective. “Grab a chair an’ I’ll make the coffee. Won’t have time to go to a café. Slayer’s off her bird if she thinks you’ll be leaving this place before two.”

Willow smiled, “No more rushing off to save the world. It’s nice that she has time to indulge now.”

“Ain’t it just,” he agreed, returning her grin.

 

\---

 

At 12.45 pm, Buffy exited the bathroom, fully clothed but with damp hair.

“Mmm,” Spike murmured, breathing in the mixed perfumes from her shampoo and shower gel. “Come ‘ere, baby. I’ll sort out that tangle.”

She smiled, handed him her hairbrush and took the coffee cup he offered her, sitting down on a chair with her back to him. He leaned over and planted a small kiss on her neck, before gently working the brush through her mane.

Having automatically closed her eyes to savor the moment, Buffy was surprised to find Willow staring at her – mouth agape – when she opened them again.

“What?” she asked, defensively.

“Nothing. It’s just… oh, nothing.”

A smirk appeared on Buffy’s face, and she took Willow’s hand in hers saying, “Sometimes I find it hard to believe, too. How far we’ve come.”

It was at that point that the Witch noticed the engagement ring, “Oh, Buffy!” she exclaimed, “It looks so much better in real life than on webcam!”

“Didn’t you say it was – and I quote – ‘The prettiest piece of jewelry you’d ever seen’ over webcam?”

“I did. And it is! Spike, you have great taste!”

“He knows,” said Buffy, tilting her head back to give him a cheeky wink.

Leaning down, he kissed her lips, the angle making them both slightly dizzy. When their lips finally broke apart, Spike went off to retrieve the hair dryer, and the girls discussed nail varnish colors. An hour after that, they left to pick up Dawn.

 

By 10 pm, the Slayer arrived home to find the apartment spotless and a note left for her on the small hallway table.

“Mailman left you a package,” it read, “Have hidden it, but play your cards right and I might let you work some clues out of me.”

Buffy smiled, put her coat and bags in the hall closet before stripping off her clothes, slowly, on her way to the bedroom. Twisting the handle, she was greeted with the scent of rose petals, and saw Spike stretched out on the bed in front of her. She leaned against the doorjamb for a moment, letting him get a good look, before making her way over to him.

“Had a good day, baby?” he asked her, quietly.

“Uh huh,” she replied.

“Red and Whelp catch their fight okay?”

“They did,” she whispered, leaning forward to kiss him tenderly, before saying, “I love you.”

“Love you, too,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “Gonna show you how much.”


	15. Five Days and Two Weeks

Buffy prodded her lover gently, bidding him to wake up. “ _Spiiike_ ,” she whined, as he lay there, completely unresponsive.

Finally, a wicked grin flashed across her face before she shook it off and donned her most convincing innocent look. Lifting the edge of the comforter to take a peek at his naked form underneath, she gently started to trail her fingers down his side.

Feeling his skin begin to react to her, especially as her hand reached lower, Buffy pulled away quickly and said, matter-of-factly, “I’m thinking of getting my hair cut short again.”

Suddenly Spike’s eyes were open, watching her.

“Don’t you bloody dare!” he said, sitting up.

“Oh,” she replied, coyly, “You still like it long? Like to have it bounce around while you-”

Spike growled in response, cutting her off as pulled her into his lap, “Should know better than to tease me, pet. Might get more than you bargained for.”

Buffy giggled, “Couldn’t resist.”

Laying kisses across her chest, Spike murmured in agreement, “Know the feeling.”

“Mmm,” she moaned. “Never gonna get tired of waking up to you – once you finally _do_ wake up, that is!”

“What can I say? Landed myself an insatiable little chit. Don’t blame me when you’re the one knocks me out, luv.”

She smiled down at him before nudging his head out of her cleavage and extracting herself from their bed.

“Whoa, hey!” he said, taking hold of her wrist, “Where are you going?”

“Shower,” she answered him plainly, with a wink. “You coming?”

“Oh, yeah” he confirmed, taking hold of Buffy around the waist and carrying her to their destination.

 

\---

 

When the hot water began to run out, Buffy pushed her lover out of their shared cubical, insisting, “I _actually_ gotta get clean now.”

“Why?” he asked, pouting.

“Gotta try on my dress,” she answered, her back to him as she quickly scrubbed herself down with shower gel – not wanting to be in the now ice cold water any longer than necessary.

Having given up hope of rejoining her under the stream for a third go round, Spike picked up a towel and began drying himself off. “Dress?” was all he asked.

“Yeah,” she said, shutting off the water, “I’m assuming that’s what’s in the package. I’m not expecting anything else.”

“Oh,” he said, stopping mid-action to face her again, as she stepped out onto the floor. “ _The_ dress? Forgot about that. What happens if I don’t tell you where it is?”

“You force me to marry you naked,” she replied, with a shrug.

Pretending to think it over momentarily, Spike finally said, “Doesn’t bother me.”

“Uh huh. Might do when everyone else starts eyeing up your bride.”

With a growl, he conceded the point and handed her her towel, while wrapping his own around his hips. “Shall leave it on the bed for you. Don’t take too long, I’m making breakfast.”

“Sounds divine,” she replied, kissing him.

 

\---

 

Buffy did find her package on the bed, as promised, and found her wedding dress inside as expected. She did _not_ expect the sudden quickening of her heartbeat and fumbling of her hands upon touching the silky material.

 _Calm_ ’ she told herself. Then, _Wow. This is really happening_.

After pulling it on, Buffy was transfixed by her image in the mirror, only brought back to earth when Spike called to her.

“Still alive in there?”

“Uh huh,” she petted the silk just a little more. “Coming!”

 

Spike asked her the verdict when she joined him in the kitchen.

“It’s perfect,” she replied, beaming, “And I know everyone says that, but it really is!”

He returned her smile. “Am not gonna get a peek, am I?”

“Nope. Gotta wait a whole two weeks and five days.”

His grin widened. “Been counting down, have we?”

Buffy nodded, then turned her attention to the breakfast he’d lovingly prepared for her – ignoring the burnt bits.

  
“So hungry!” declared Buffy, her mouth full of her third stuffed bagel. “And so good!” she added, lifting it up to emphasize her words.

Spike took a bite out of it when it came too close to his face and the Slayer scowled at him.

“Mine!” she protested, finishing off the rest.

“Be half mine soon enough,” he retorted, smirking.

Buffy knew better than to think they’d ever stop bickering, but no longer saw it as a bad thing. Part of her kind of enjoyed it, and when it got too much and was actually annoying there were always fun ways to make up again.

“So, I was thinking,” said Spike, interjecting her thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“There are a few options on the ceremony…”

“ _Yeah?_ ” she said again, now suspicious, “What are you getting at?”

Spike sighed, then spat out in a single breath, “How would you feel about writing our own vows?”

“How would I-?” she began to repeat his question, but her mouth went dry. Shaking her head, Buffy tried again. “Me write? But, Buffy and words are like total non-mixy things!”

“You don’t have to do it,” Spike insisted, nervously, “Was just an idea.”

Judging by the fact that he couldn’t look at her, Buffy assumed it was something that he really wanted, but equally didn’t want to admit. Swallowing her apprehensions, she agreed, “I’ll do it.”

His head instantly shot up, and he searched her eyes for teasing but found none. “You mean it?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said, unconvincingly. “I’ll, uh… figure something out.”

Spike was thrilled, then he let it sink in. “Guess the poet is still alive and kicking in me somewhere,” he said. “I’m a ponce, ain’t I?”

“You’re a dope,” she replied. “And I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

They were about to kiss when suddenly there was clapping. Both looking up, startled, they found Andrew staring at them – looking elated. “I always knew you two crazy kids would work it out,” he said, “So adorable!”

Buffy was furious, “Did you just walk in here?”

“Yeah,” he answered, unfazed - having not noticed the threat in the rhetorical question - “Door was unlocked. You should really watch that.”

Spike growled again, and Buffy had to put a hand on his arm to silently remind him to be good.

“Andrew,” she said, firmly. “That is _not_ okay. We could have been... well, we could have been baking!”

The anger drained from her finance, as laughter bubbled up within him.

“Baking?” he balked.

“Baking,” she repeated, with a glare.

“Yeah, right. Baking,” Spike donned his faux serious face. “Walk in here once while we’re pouring sprinkles and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

Andrew’s brow furrowed, not having the first clue what they were talking about. “Hey, do you guys wanna go sightseeing?”

“No,” the couple replied in unison.

“Oh,” the boy pouted. “Well let’s catch up here, then,” he said, pulling out a stool at the kitchen counter and plopping himself down, “How’s things?”

“Were fine until you came ‘round,” Spike mumbled, but Buffy tried to be a little more diplomatic.

“I’ve got a week off,” she said. “I was hoping to spend some alone time with Spike. Alone.”

“That’s nice,” said Andrew. “I was hoping to spend some time with Giles. I wanted him to give me more one-on-one Watcher training, but he’s busy with his girlfriend. Did you know Dawn’s applying to colleges back in the US?”

Buffy’s eyes were wide with astonishment. “How does your brain work?”

“Clearly doesn’t, luv,” said Spike. “Think it’s time you left, wanker-junior.”

“Don’t you mean watcher-juni- hey! Hands off the tweed,” Andrew protested as Spike guided him to the door. “I wouldn’t have had to deal with this kind of manhandling if you still had your chip!”

The door shut in his face, and Spike returned to Buffy who was still looking perturbed.

“She’s applying to colleges back home? Did you know?”

“No,” said Spike, pulling her into a comforting embrace. “Makes sense, though, I suppose.”

“Yeah. I just didn’t think. Spike! She could be going to the other side of the world without us in like six months!”

“Doesn’t have to be without us,” he replied. “You’ve been itching for Californian sands yourself. Ah – no,” he stopped her protest before she could even finish opening her mouth. “Don’t deny it. Think I wouldn’t figure it out?”

“I like our life here,” said Buffy.

“Yeah, but you’d like it more back there,” replied Spike.

It wasn’t a question, but Buffy felt the need to explain herself. “I don’t want to keep moving around. I want to be settled.”

“I know, luv. Had to come back here when we got together, didn’t we? Couldn’t drag Dawn back over there in the middle of an important school year. But if she wants to go now then there’s nothing to say we wouldn’t be just as settled on yer home turf.”

“Hmm… Maybe. I don’t know, Spike. It’s a big decision. We don’t need to make it today, right?”

“Right,” he affirmed. “We’ll talk it out with Niblet later. Never know – she may be wanting to get an ocean between us; could be the appeal.”

“Funny,” Buffy snarked, but her mood had lightened. “Gah! What is wrong with Andrew. It’s like he’s got no filter on his mouth!”

“’s exactly what it is, luv. Now, what’s the order of the day?”

Buffy thought for a minute or two before pulling a note off the fridge.

“Laundry – oh, but we’ll need to buy more powder first. And we’re out of eggs. It’s trash day too.”

Spike pointed to the clock, “Think that ship has sailed.”

 

\---

 

Day two of the remainder of Buffy’s week off with Spike involved nothing but couple time. The first half of day three was spent sleeping, so as to recover from day two, while the second half had Spike driving all through London to find a dump for their mounting trash. Day four was a wedding planning day, and day five had them spending the day in bed again. Then it was two more weeks of work before the _big_ day.

In her new role as office manager, Buffy had the power to hire and fire people, and she set about her first task of abusing that power to give Spike a job.

It lasted three hours.

“What the hell happened?” she yelled at him, unable to believe her eyes.

His fist was covered in blood, and there was suspiciously fist-sized hole in the computer monitor.

“It wasn’t my fault!” he pleaded. “There was a demon in it. I acted on instinct.”

Buffy raised her eyebrows at his mention of the supernatural in earshot of muggles, and pulled him aside to tend to his wounds and – hopefully – get the full story.

  
“Let me get this straight,” she said, kneading her temples, “Someone sent you a link through the internal messenger, which of course you clicked without thinking about. You watch a nice little video with a screamer at the end, and you punch the state of the art touch screen computer so hard that there’s also a lovely little dent in the wall behind it - that about sum it up?”

“Well, uh… I guess,” he admitted, looking guilty. “How was I supposed to know it was a joke? Bloody poor excuse for one if you ask me!”

Buffy rolled her eyes. There was no use staying mad at him. There was no way he could have known any better, but that wasn’t gonna wash with her superiors.

“I’m gonna have to fire you, y’know.”

“I know,” he said, before apologizing – again – and then trying to kiss her.

“No, Spike! You can’t do that here. I’m a professional!”

“Fine,” he said, pouting. “I’ll grab my stuff. See you at home.”

“See you at home,” she repeated, with a sighing.

Later, Buffy came home covered top to toe in black ink, and it was Spike’s turn to ask her what happened.

“You know that printer I jokingly said was possessed?” she asked.

“Yeah?” he replied.

“Well, it was _actually_ possessed.”


	16. The Night Before

“Don’t worry,” Dawn tried to reassure Buffy – who looked distraught at the state of her apartment - “I’m gonna clear this place up. As a gift to you. Because A. We both know I don’t like paying for things and B. I skipped out on a whole bunch of chores back in the old place.”

The levity did lighten the Slayer’s mood a little. “I _really_ hope you’re serious,” she said, as Dawn pulled her into a hug.

“I will get a proper gift soon. But, yeah, I can do this for you. You deserve it.”

“Nice of you, Niblet,” said Spike from the other room, before adding, “Don’t break anything.”

“Of course I won’t!” she protested, and suddenly Buffy had flashbacks of every other time Dawn had said as much. It was usually followed with her knocking something over.

As if reading her thoughts, Dawn put a hand on her sister’s shoulder and said, “Really. I got this.”

“Okay, okay,” Buffy relented. “I put my possessions in your care. There’s no rush – it can wait until we’re gone. Oh, but, do _not_ look in the top drawer of my nightstand. Actually, know what? Never mind. I’ll take them with me.”

“What are you-” Dawn began to ask, before thinking better of it and declaring, “Don’t wanna know.”

Spike walked into the room at that point, barely unable to contain his laughter, and Buffy blushed as he wrapped his arms around her. “What? I didn’t say anything bad!”

“Implied enough, Slayer,” he chuckled.

“Gross,” said Dawn, changing the subject. “You two staying apart tonight? You know, for tradition?”

“Nah,” said Spike, winking at her sister, “Couldn’t keep away.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Buffy, teasing him, “Maybe we should.”

“Don’t even bloody think about it. I’ve got plans for you later.”

“And gross again,” said Dawn, shuddering. “I’m gonna leave before you both go completely nuts.”

 

\---

 

After Spike’s planned physical activity, the couple went back to adding the finishing touches to their vows.

“Can’t believe we’ll be promising our lives to each other in like twenty hours,” Buffy said, looking up from her notebook.

“Nervous?” asked Spike.

“Yeah. All this time, it’s finally gonna happen. This is huge.”

“I know, kitten. How are your pretty words looking?”

“Bleh!” Buffy exclaimed, frowning. “Nothing I say is gonna be good enough.”

“I’m sure it is,” he said, reaching towards her, “Gimmie a look.”

“No!” she shouted, defensively snatching away the book. “It’s not time yet! I want them to be perfect.”

Spike raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. Won’t look. But I’m sure they’re fine. You’ve come up with rousing speeches before.”

“It’s not the same,” Buffy huffed, flicking back through her pages. “There is something else I wanted to run past you…”

He quirked his eyebrow in question, and she continued. “I… well, it’s silly. But I thought it might be nice to kind of… maybe, get matching tattoos?”

“What?”

“I know,” she chastised herself. “It was a stupid idea. I just liked the idea of having something permanent. With symbolism and everything, but then I couldn’t come up with any decent ideas.”

“Not stupid,” Spike insisted. “’m just surprised is all. Thought, of the two of us, the one to suggest getting inked woulda been me. Wait. Is this what I keep catching you doodling?”

“Yeah,” Buffy admitted, blushing a little.

“Show us what you got then. ‘m sure we could make it workable.”

The Slayer blinked. “You’re serious? You’d be willing to get something I’d drawn put on your body forever?”

He shrugged saying, “Consider it. Now show me.” Hesitantly, Buffy handed him the pad, and he smirked looking down at it, “This is just a bunch of hearts, luv.”

“I said it was stupid!”

“Ah ah,” he said, not letting her snatch it back from him, “Already told you it’s not stupid. Maybe a little basic…”

“Ugh! It sucks. _I_ suck. Am so not a creative person!” she groused.

Spike ignored her and quickly sketched out another heart – neater than hers – before drawing a stake through it. “Too much?” he asked her.

She shook her head, finding her smile again. “I like it. I could get a little one, and yours could be bigger.”

“Sounds great,” he told her.


	17. Valentine's Day

For once, Spike woke up before Buffy. They had to leave early, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a _little_ time for loving first. They got right to it as soon as he’d fed and watered his bride-to-be, having brought her breakfast in bed.

“I want to remember every part of today,” she told him, catching her breath, “It’s so good already.”

“About to get better, luv,” said Spike, laying a gift on her lap.

Overcome with excitement, Buffy could barely open it quickly enough.

“That’s y’r first present,” he told her.

“There are more?” she asked, finally breaking through the last bit of stubborn tape with all of her slayer strength to reveal a silver box containing an antique necklace with a blue pendant that matched her fiancé’s eyes and new silver bracelet to match.

“Necklace was me mum’s,” he explained, while undoing the clasp and placing it around her neck. “And the bracelet is Red’s. Consider it something borrowed. As for your other gift… I, uh… Well, I’m taking your last name.”

“You, what?” exclaimed Buffy, a little overcome with thoughts and emotions to form coherent sentences.

Spike chuckled. “May not be a traditional present, but you’ll thank me later. Not having to go around calling yourself Mrs. Pratt for the rest of your life is a definite advantage.” He was about to go on to add, _Today’s really me joining_ your _family than the other way round, anyway_ , but Buffy cut him off by kissing him so forcefully he almost forgot his _first_ name.

Several long moments later, he had to pull away, and Buffy whimpered at the loss of his caress. “Sorry, sweets. Much as I’d love to fit in another shag, we’ve gotta hit the road soon, and you haven’t finished packing yet.”

“Oh,” she pouted. “Will we have time for more sex if we really do get hitched naked?” Spike just smirked in reply, before pulling her out of bed and guiding her towards the bathroom.

 

Twenty minutes after that, when they both were clean, Buffy asked for the hundredth time, “How am I supposed to know what to pack if I don’t know where we’re going?”

“Pack light,” said Spike. “And wear leather. It’ll be best to travel in.”

“Great,” she muttered, “Now I have even _less_ idea.”

Taking pity on her, Spike finally caved. “S’pose there’s no point in keeping a secret much longer,” he said, sighing. “I’ve hired us a motorbike.”

“Huh?” was all Buffy could say, as he handed her a map.

“That’s the route marked out.”

“We’re… going to Scotland?”

He nodded, “Gretna Green, to be exact. It’s where all the young lovebirds used to run away to, to elope.”

She smiled then. “Sounds romantic. How long’s this gonna take us?”

“Seven hours, or there abouts, including a stop for lunch somewhere in the Lake District. That’s why we’ve gotta get a move on. Having ourselves an evening ceremony, just before the sun sets.”

Buffy was slack-jawed. She had to use every ounce of her willpower to stop herself from jumping on him and making love to him right there – to use her body to express love her words could never adequately capture.

“That’s so…” she said. “You’re so! You’re amazing!”

In relief, Spike blew out the breath he’d been holding. His heart was hammering, stricken by the sudden fear that this was all a dream and that she’d come to her senses and reject him at the last minute.

“If I kiss you right now you’ll have to pry me off with a crowbar, and we’ll miss the whole soddin’ ceremony,” he said, earnestly.

“Was just thinking that,” she agreed, wishing they could fast forward the day, but still wanting to savor it too. “I love you. So much.”

“So much,” he repeated, then he shook his head to try and think straight again. “Go, get y’r leathers on. I’ll be in the kitchen, trying to control myself.”

With a soft chuckle, she obeyed.

 

\---

 

The ride throughout England was amazing. Buffy never knew the countryside opened out like that. It was like something out of a movie. Their lunch was rushed, as the couple were still fighting their blood screaming inside them to join together in the most primal, physical sense. They had to keep moving. Had to keep focused on their task.

Buffy hated deadlines, even if they were for good things. All of the apocalypses she’d faced and she still couldn’t control the itch of waiting for it all to go down. _That’s what it feels like_ , she mused while gripping her lover tightly around the waist as they sped over hills and through valleys. _You spend months researching and planning, but in the end, it all comes down to a few minutes, when everything changes; when all that time pays off. My life is like one long lesson in delayed gratification._ She gripped tighter.

Then, finally, they were there. Gretna was a tiny village. Not what she expected at all. Though, she hadn’t really known what to expect.

Spike pulled off his helmet and pointed to an immaculately cared for lawn. “Right there, luv,” he said. “Under the shadow of that oak. That’s the spot.”

Buffy was giddy. Full of nervous energy.

“How do we get there?” she asked, and then pointed to her outfit when all she got in return was a confused look. “I’m assuming you’ve arranged somewhere I can get ready?”

“Oh, right. Yeah,” he scratched his head and looked around. “There.” He then pointed to a cottage. “Got us a guesthouse. I’ll check us in. Get myself ready then head off to meet the minister while you get y’r frock on. Will meet you back at the door at 4.30, ready to lead you down the aisle – or, er… garden path.”

Buffy laughed. “This is some adventure we’re having.”

“Ain’t it just,” he agreed, opening the door to the guesthouse for her.

 

“Surname?” the receptionist asked.

“Pod,” Spike told her, as the Slayer looked at him, confused. As he waited for the key, he kept his eye on her, wondering if it would sink in. Minutes later, when it evidently had not, he leaned in and whispered in her ear, “What name did I say we’d be listed under if we had a daytime ceremony… in the park, under the trees?”

“Ohhh,” she said, laughing again. “Big pile of dust, eh? Knew you were worrying unnecessarily.”

“Uh huh,” he said, “Didn’t know prophecy was one of the slayer’s gifts. If you hadda told me we were gonna end up here it coulda saved me a whole lotta time.”

“Maybe I like the scenic route,” she quipped, before asking earnestly, “Worth the wait?”

“Damn straight!” he replied, a little too loudly. The receptionist just looked at them and shook his head.

 

\---

 

As promised, Spike arrived back at the front door to the guesthouse at 4.30 to meet his bride. She showed up twenty minutes later, to find her groom in a panic. The tirade of, _Bloody hell, what kept you? I nearly had a bleedin’ heart attack!_ that he was about to unleash vanished from his mind, along with all other words, when he finally saw her.

Buffy was dressed in a champagne-colored, floor length gown, not dissimilar in style to the infamous one she wore to take out the Master. This one had a short red train, though, to match Spike’s dress shirt.

Her hair was long and flowing, in waves, and she wore the jewelry Spike had given her. He gulped at the sight, and she shyly ducked her head.

“Sorry I’m late.”

Finally finding his voice, he said, “Never be sorry, Beautiful,” before laying a kiss on her forehead and linking her arm through his. “Ready?”

She nodded, and they proceeded towards the minister.

“Miss Summers,” he greeted her, “Lovely to meet you. My, aren’t you a vision?”

Buffy blushed, and pride welled in Spike’s chest. He’d outdone himself. Found the most breathtaking woman he’d ever come across, and somehow convinced her to unite her soul with his. It barely seemed real.

“I’ve been informed you have written your own vows. Who would like to go first?”

Buffy almost swore as she remembered she’d left hers inside, where she’d still been tweaking them until the last minute.

Misreading her sudden panic, Spike felt fear wash over him. _Not real. Not real. Too good to be true. She’s gonna back out!_

The look in his eyes – one she’d seen before. One she’d _caused_ before, on purpose – gave Buffy what she needed to speak her heart and mind. She grasped his hand, tightly, and uttered his name like it was sacred.

“William. You’re my equal. Always have been, always will.”

“No, Buffy,” he began to argue. “Don’t deserve you. Beneath you, remember? But it’s okay.” He wanted to get on his knees and plead with her, promise to always remain less than her if she would simply let him stay by her side.

“You can’t interrupt,” said the minister, quite flabbergasted. “It’s not the done thing!”

“Shut up,” both Buffy and Spike told him in unison, not even glancing in his direction. Buffy was annoyed with herself. “You look here,” she told her groom, firmly. “You are not beneath me. You never were. I only said that because you scared me.”

Spike looked guilty, then.

“No. No, not like that,” she carried on. “You tried to kiss me, and I felt something. Something I had been resisting for a very long time.”

His face was now shocked. She’d never admitted that out loud to him before, though he’d often suspected it.

“Your feelings were always so raw, and mine needed to be guarded. I was scared to let myself react to you the way I wanted, so I did the opposite.” Suddenly, Buffy found herself crying, “I pushed you away, Spike. And I’m sorry.”

“Hey! hey, luv, none of that,” he whispered, brushing away her tears.

“Spike, I love you!” she shouted at him, then a thought came to her, and she lowered her voice again. “I love you more than I ever loved Angel. I’ve never told you that, have I?”

He shook his head in disbelief. “Really, luv?”

“Oh God, yes!” she said, shouting again before looking at the minister. “Sorry.”

He was completely stunned by the proceedings, and by the fact the groom seemed to have a rather odd nickname. Whoever Angel was he couldn’t even begin to guess.

Buffy continued, “I want to marry you, Spike. I have no reservations. Like, at all. I trust you completely. Even if you were to lose your soul tomorrow I still want my life to be with you. Forever. ‘till long after final death do we part!”

By this stage, the minister had convinced himself he was on some kind of hidden camera television show. Although, looking about him, he couldn’t spot a presenter waiting in any nearby buses.

Then the rain started.

Spike wasn’t sure which streaks on his face were from his tears and which were from drips coming from the overhead tree.

“Bloody Scotland!” he exclaimed.

The minister shot him a most disapproving look, coupled with a shrug that implied, _Well what did you expect?_

The ex-vampire turned back to his bride, to apologize for not having prepared for what really should have been inevitable, but was caught off guard when she just grinned at him. “Luv?” he asked her, his voice shaky.

She continued to smile and leaned in to kiss him, whispering, “I don’t care about the rain.”

He got caught so caught up in returning her kiss that the now slightly damp and more than slightly pissed off minister had to clear his throat several times to get the attention back on him.

“If we could wrap this up?” he said, “We haven’t _quite_ got to that part yet.”

Spike smirked, refusing to apologize. “Right then, carry on.”

“Oh, I…” he muttered. “I think it’s your turn.”

 

“Buffy,” said Spike, looking deeply into his bride’s eyes. “I promise to love you for the rest of my entire existence, in whatever form that existence happens to take. I promise to protect you when you need it, and let you protect me when I need it… and not be a prat about it trying to act all manly.”

That earned him a giggle.

“Knew I could get a grin,” he commented, smiling himself. “This vow writing was harder than I thought. Promise to never make you do that again.” – Buffy and the minister both gave a sigh of relief – “I promise to never make you do anything you don’t want to do ever again, if you promise to be honest and tell me when you don’t want it.” – Buffy nodded her assent – “I promise to never let you forget how strong you how. How utterly amazing and beautiful and pure your soul and spirit are.”

Buffy almost argued with him at that point, but was so teared up she couldn’t say anything.

To conclude Spike said, “I want to promise you a million and one things, and I will. Anything you ask, for the rest of your life. I promise to try and always do my best for you, and I promise to stuff up too, because, well, I have no choice in that.” He pointed to his chest, “Flawed being here. But most of all, what I want to promise right now, is to get out you outta this damned rain and back to the guesthouse where I can start acting on my promises. I love you, Buffy Anne Summers.”

“That was beautiful,” she whispered, leaning in for another gentle yet deeply passionate kiss. Spike picked her up, and the minister panicked.

“Sir, ah… William. Spike! You still need to sign the register!”

Pulling out of the kiss, Spike rolled his eyes and muttered, “Bloody hell,” under his breath before whispering in his wife’s ear, “I will get you back in bed eventually. This day’s been too damn long.”

“I know what you mean,” she replied, blushing. “Go, lead the way. I wanna sign. Then photos.”

Spike grimaced, “Photos? In the rain? With, uh…” he gulped, “No photographer?”

“You didn’t book a photographer? Spike!” she shook her head and turned to the minister who had acquired an umbrella since the last time she looked at him, somehow, “That’s it. I don’t wanna sign anymore.”

He looked horror stricken, and Spike had to clap a hand to his shoulder, “She’s joking, mate.”

“You really are quite a pair!” he said, turning to walk the short distance to the church, “Follow me!” And they did - hand in hand.

Spike asked, while walking, “Are you a little bit mad about having no pics?”

“Nah,” she answered. “I knew we couldn’t afford a photographer, but we will get photos. Find a little gift shop or something, buy a camera and do it ourselves. It’ll be nicer that way anyway.”

Spike shook his head. “Headed for sainthood you are,” he said.

“Oh, yeah?” she replied, lowering her voice. “Well, I was thinking maybe we could have an extra, _intimate_ , little photo-shoot later too. But if I’m too saintly…”

He growled then, and the minister stopped walking to look at him in terror. Spike ignored him, saying to Buffy, “You really are the perfect woman.”

The resolve he’d been forcing himself to have all day, with being so close to her, to be able to look in her eyes and touch her but not fully enjoy her body was falling even more rapidly; was too far gone to care about the fact he had a raging hard-on in the supposed house of God. Luckily, the paperwork side of things didn’t take long, with Spike’s deed pole papers for his name change already in place, simply requiring a signature.

They were headed out the door again when he turned on his heal to face the minister one last time.

“What now?” the man asked, utterly at the end of his tether.

Spike was in too much of a hurry to get annoyed by the snappy attitude. “Nearest gift shop? One that’ll have cameras,” he asked.

“Oh, umm…” replied the minister. “I don’t know. This is a small place. There’s no guarantee our shop will have any in stock. I’ll lend you mine, it’s in the vestry.”

Spike nodded, “Quick as you can,” before pulling Buffy into another heated kiss.

“I now pronounce us Man and Wife.”


	18. The Honeymoon Period

Spike woke Buffy up gently, tracing his fingers over her flesh. She let out a little moan before opening her eyes and smiling up at him.

“Hello, Cutie,” he said, still letting his hands wander over her bare skin, teasing it in places. “Are you ready for today?”

“Yeah,” she answered, not giving it much thought. Then – brain switching on – she asked, “What are we doing today, again?”

“Today,” he whispered in her ear, “Is the first day of us as old marrieds, and we’re gonna do something we’ve never done.”

“There’s something we haven’t done?” she asked, genuinely shocked.

Spike smiled and continued to whisper, “I’m gonna take you outside, and…” he took a brief pause, mid-sentence, to nibble her earlobe until she moaned again, then continued, “We’re gonna make love in the sunlight.” Her breath caught, and he basked in the heat of it against his cheek. “That work for you, kitten?”

“Totally,” said Buffy, her heart starting to race, “But we’re not leaving bed just yet.”

In a flash, she had him pinned beneath her, laying kisses to his lips while her hair fell over his face. Having a leg either side of his slim frame, she rocked her hips against him in rhythm with her kisses. His cock was hard against her wet slit. As she took hold of it to push it inside her, his hands lifted to her breasts to continue his caress.

Buffy arched back a little, pulling Spike up with her so they were in a sitting position. Placing her hands on his shoulders for leverage, she pushed herself up and down on his lap as he wrapped his arms around her.

“Mmm,” she said, “So good.”

“So good,” he agreed, drawing her back down into a kiss. Once their faces and chests were pressed closely together, Spike rolled around, bringing Buffy’s back down on the bed. The new position allowed him to speed up, and trust harder.

“Yes!” Buffy exclaimed. “Yes! Don’t stop!”

“Never!” he replied, just as forcefully.

 

When they eventually did get up, Spike realized his plans were foiled again. “Goddamn Scottish weather!” he yelled at the sky through the window.

Buffy chuckled, coming up behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Good thing about being married,” she said, “We’ve got the rest of our lives together. We don’t have to do everything right away.”

He turned around, capturing her lips with his own. Their kiss turned into touching, and the touching became more and more enthused until there was a knock at the door. First, they both ignored it, but whoever it was on the other side persisted.

Spike pulled away, cursing as he pulled on some pants and swung the door open. “Yeah, what?”

“Sir, check out was an hour ago,” the manager informed him, not looking him in the eye, “And we’ve had… ahem… noise complaints.”

Spike felt proud and irritated at the same time. “Guess we got carried away,” he replied, tilting his head to look at the clock above the door. “Give us twenty minutes, would ya? We’ll be down.”

Once the manager was gone, Buffy extracted herself from behind the bookshelf she’d been using to hide her nakedness. “We’re leaving today?” she asked, pouting. “But, we have two days left before I gotta be back at work.”

“I know, Kitten,” Spike answered her, “Don’t worry. We’re not heading back just yet. Gonna ride east, to Edinburgh, stay there for a bit.”

“Ooh! I’ve wanted to see there!”

Spike smiled and donned a ‘duh’ expression. “Why else do you think we’re going?”

“Oh.” Buffy smiled back, putting her arms around his neck and planting more kisses on him. “Thank you.”

 

\---

 

Spike was furious when the manager made him pay for an entire extra day, just because they checked out several hours late and there had been a fresh round of noise complaints after they’d been warned. Buffy was able to take his mind off it, though.

They took the scenic route to the Scottish capital – not that there was a route that _wasn’t_ scenic, but, rather, the one they picked was extra scenic due to their stopping every half hour to “enjoy the view,” as Spike put it.

The rain had ended.

 

They were sitting up in bed, talking about nothing in particular, when suddenly Buffy slapped her forehead. “I forgot about Valentine’s!”

“What?”

“I got us a present. I forgot to show you!” she explained.

Spike’s eyes lit up at the prospect but then dropped back into confusion when Buffy excitedly produced a candle from the top drawer in their hotel nightstand.

“This have mystical properties or something?” he asked, looking underneath for a label.

“It’s tobacco scented,” said Buffy. “So we can still enjoy the smell without any of the dangerous toxins.”

Spike frowned. “This your way of telling me I’m about to give up cigarettes?” he asked, sighing when Buffy nodded only semi-apologetically. “Fine. But only because I’m not gonna to live forever, now. As far as I know, anyway. ’m not whipped.”

She laughed. “Oh, you’re so totally whipped.”

“You’re right,” he admitted, “Willing slave and all. Just don’t tell anyone!” he mock-threatened.

“Promise,” she swore, a goofy grin on her face.

Spike grabbed at her, kissing and tickling her until she squealed with delight. “Can still be bad,” he drawled.

“Oh, I’m counting on it,” said Buffy, returning his touch with fervor.

 

Later, when their greedy touch was sated – temporarily – Spike said, “Never knew you liked the smell of smoke, luv.”

“Umhm,” said Buffy, nuzzling his neck. “Just a you thing. Smoke and leather? Not so much a turn-on on anyone else.”

He smirked, biting his bottom lip, thinking he was never going to get used to her admitting such things out loud, least of all to him.

“Speaking of leather,” she continued, “How come you hardly wear your coat anymore?”

“Huh? Oh, it’s just not the same since it was replaced. I mean, it feels the same but it’s just lost the history, y’know?”

“Wait,” Buffy propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. “Replaced?”

“Yeah, damned Immortal kindly blew up the original with that soddin’ bomb of his.”

“Bomb? The Immortal? Spike, what are you talking about?!”

“Never did tell you the story, did I? Of what went down when I tried to see you in Rome?”

Buffy shook her head. “I beat some of it outta Andrew, but he didn’t mention a bomb!”

“Nah, he wouldn’t. Wasn’t there for that part. An’ it’s not important, anyway. Thing is, my coat’s gone. That – he gestured towards the open closet – is just a fake.”

“Oh.”

“You’re disappointed?”

“Well, yeah. It _did_ have history, like you said. And it was like a part of you.” She pouted before adding, “I don’t like losing parts of you.”

Spike grinned again. “Y’know, I always had an inkling you liked the coat.”

“What gave it away, the fact that I liked to wear it while we, uh… you know,” she blushed, and Spike’s grin got bigger.

“Yeah, I know.”

Buffy bit her lip and just like that Spike was gone, consumed in kissing her again, conversation forgotten once more.

 

Hours after that, the Slayer had to pry herself from her amorous lover’s arms.

“Spike, no. I gotta shower!”

He pouted, letting her go, then turned on the TV when she left the room. He wasn’t paying it too much attention – his thoughts elsewhere – until Buffy came back wearing only a towel.

“Bloody hell, that was quick!” he exclaimed, but she cut him off.

“Turn it up, there was something about a body.”

Spike was tempted to continue joking, but the serious look on her face had him doing as she said. There was a news report about what sounded eerily like an interdimensional portal opening up just outside of Reading. Before the reporter had even finished her piece on it, Buffy had phone in hand, waiting for Giles to pick up.

“I knew things were too quiet,” she said into the receiver, when the call eventually connected. “I knew the world wouldn’t give me a little time off for happiness. How are we gonna handle this?”

“Buffy, slow down. What’s wrong?”

“Do you even watch the news? Portal. Near Reading. Needs investigated, or deactivated, or… something!”

“Ah, yes,” said Giles, finally catching up. “A team is on its way. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”

“What?” said Buffy, incredulous.

“I said it’s nothing for you to worry about. All in hand. Go and enjoy your honeymoon.”

“But Giles, the other slayers won’t be prepared enough for this. We’ll have to go.”

Spike looked up at her, first shocked, then annoyed - silently praying Giles would talk her out of leaving their suite.

“Actually, Buffy,” said Giles. “The girls have proved quite competent. They have neutralized at least four apocalypses unaided this year alone.”

The Slayer was stunned into silence, so much so that Giles thought the line had somehow become disconnected.

“Why didn’t you say before?” she finally asked.

“I didn’t really feel there was a need,” Giles replied, nonchalantly.

“Right,” said Buffy, her tone indicating that it was wrong, wrong, wrong. “You’re sure the situation can be handled without us?”

When he confirmed that he was indeed sure, she hung up on him and stomped back towards the bathroom, slamming the door.

Spike rolled his eyes and turned off the TV again, letting his head fall back onto the pillow to stare up at the ceiling.

“Never a dull bloody moment.”

 

\---

 

After lunch, Buffy and Spike strolled down Princess Street – the main road in Edinburgh. Buffy was surprised at how busy it was.

They were searching for a tattoo parlor and had already visited three, but none of them met the Slayer’s standards. Finally, though, she spotted one that looked clean – at least from the outside – and didn’t have artwork of a demon above the doorway.

Buffy looked at Spike and he nodded, so they went inside where she all but interrogated the tattoo artist and thoroughly inspected the equipment.

“This one good enough, kitten?” Spike asked her.

She gave the artist a nervous smile before gulping and replying, “I think so. I’m, um, actually kinda scared now…”

Spike chuckled as she worried her lip.

“What’s funny?” she demanded to know.

“You being scared of a tiny needle.”

He was right, of course, but Buffy wasn’t about to admit that. Instead, she turned back to the artist. “We gotta sign something?”

 

Spike got his tattoo first – a heart with a stake through it, as they’d already decided – over his right pectoral, while Buffy decided to get hers on her wrist. She didn’t see him squirm when the needle first broke her skin.

“Wanna make the most of my last pack o’ smokes,” he said, excusing himself as he made his way outside. By the time he’d gone through them all, one after another, the Slayer was done and had come out to find him.

“You okay?” she asked.

“O’ course,” he answered, glancing down at her now bandaged arm. “How are you?”

“Fine,” Buffy replied. “It wasn’t bad at all.”

“Good,” said Spike, pulling her into a heated kiss.

“You like having your mark on me?” Buffy teased, when they broke apart.

“Oh, I’d love to _really_ put my mark on you,” Spike exclaimed, a little overcome with lust.

“What does that even mean?” she began to ask, but he had begun kissing her again in place of an answer.

 

That night, back in bed, Spike said to Buffy, “The tattoo got me thinking… Tell me, luv, anything you ever really wanted to do, but were too scared?”

“Haven’t we already knocked that list outta the park?”

He chuckled a little, running his tongue over his teeth just thinking about it. “Not what I meant, pet. Both know you can get wild in _certain_ areas, but what about other things?”

Buffy frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, I don’t know… Nipple piercings, doing crack bloody cocaine - anything. I wanna know all your dark little fetishes, other than sex. I mean, don’t you get tired of being a good girl? Your friends aren’t around now. No one here to judge you. I… I’m not saying I’m gonna get you cocaine. I just want you to let me in on all those things you could never share with anyone else. Y’know, the things you can barely admit to yourself without blushing a feeling guilty? Everyone has them.”

“I… Okay. This is quite possibly the most difficult thing you’ve ever asked me.”

He grinned, “I know. Bastard, aren’t I?”

Buffy was contemplative for a moment, then she said, “Tell me yours.”

“Hmm…” He was tempted to say ‘ _I asked first_ ,’ but he knew that wouldn’t get him anywhere – and this way she might actually open up. “Well, bein’ an evil soulless thing for many years, I think I actually wore out my list of nasties, but…”

“But?” she prompted.

“There was _one_ thing I was fascinated by, mainly because there was no way I could do it.”

“Yeah?” said Buffy, now fascinated herself. “And what was that?”

“Claiming,” said Spike, quietly, not really wanting to admit it.

“Claiming?” she repeated. “I _think_ of heard of that… remind me.”

“You know, where a vampire makes a permanent bond with a human? With blood. Powerful stuff, and quite taboo even with my people, but that just made it more exciting.”

Buffy looked puzzled for a moment before asking, “What stopped you?” When Spike just looked blankly back at her, she elaborated, “You said you couldn’t do it. Why?”

“Why? Because I was with Dru, and a vamp can’t claim another vamp.”

“No,” said Buffy. “After that, when Dru was gone.”

Spike shook his head. “Claiming is a serious thing. You don’t just do it on a whim. And there was never any human I could see myself being tied to for the rest of my unlife. As tempting as feeling the power of such a union was, I’m not stupid.”

“Oh.” Buffy looked down at her hands. “So…” she swallowed. “So you never wanted to me mated to me permanently.”

Spike laughed, and Buffy suddenly looked up again – hurt and angry. “Kitten,” he soothed, “Don’t you know me at all?”

The anger on Buffy’s face subsided a little at the question. Not knowing what to say, she just continued to look deep into his blue eyes. They were filled with love, which just made her even more confused.

“Buffy,” he said, putting his hands on her shoulders, “You’re the only woman I’ve ever met who has ever been worthy of devoting my entire existence to. Of course I wanted it. But, if you’ll remember, you didn’t want me.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, almost a whisper.

“It’s okay, pet. It wasn’t our time. But we’re together now. Properly. And that’s all that matters.” Buffy was silent, so he repeated, “That’s what matters, right?”

“Right,” she agreed, finally, but it was clear there was still something bugging her. “Spike, do you- do you think…” she began to ask, tripping over her words – scared to say them out loud.

As if reading her mind, Spike said, “Yes. If I was still my vampire self, and it was what you wanted, of course I would want to link myself with you eternally. Be bloody daft not to!”

A smile broke over the Slayer’s face as she realized what his earlier comment about leaving his mark on her had been about.

Spike breathed a sigh of relief, exclaiming, “Bloody hell! Didn’t expect that to turn into such a hot and heavy conversation – well, maybe hot, but…”

Buffy laughed. “Sorry, I’ll get back on the fun topic train. What are my deepest, darkest, non-sexual desires? Umm… I can’t think of any- oh! Gambling!”

Spike quirked an eyebrow. “Gambling?”

“Gambling,” Buffy repeated. “I used to really want to blow all my money – or all my _dad’s_ money – in Vegas or something. It was just a silly kid’s thing, really. I got over it.”

“Shame,” said Spike, “Gambling is fun.”

“Yeah, a fun way to lose a hell of a lot of money you can’t afford,” said Buffy, shaking her head. “The grown-up in me would never allow it.”

“Oh, I would!” exclaimed Spike, nodding enthusiastically.

“What? You’re not the grown-up in me,” said Buffy, completely missing his meaning.

“Could be,” he replied, raising an eyebrow at her again and pulling her closer.

Buffy couldn’t help but giggle. “How do you make everything about sex?”

“Can’t help it,” said Spike. “It’s the effect you have on me. Can’t think of anything else when you’re around.”

Giggling again, Buffy playfully batted him away with her hand. “Stop, I’m not done with my list. You’re distracting me.”

Spike pulled back and applied his most serious face, which Buffy reached up and kissed before turning around and mumbling something under her breath that he didn’t quite catch. Gently turning her around to face him again, he looked at her, questioningly.

She sighed, then admitted, “I used to, kinda… steal stuff.”

“Only _kinda_ steal stuff?” he asked, amused.

“Well, yeah... Before Sunnydale. Before being a Slayer and having to be a role model and responsible and blah blah blah. I was a petty thief. I’m not proud of it.”

“So that’s where Niblet gets it from, eh? Always figured that particular tendency came from Joyce.”

“You’re hilarious, Spike,” Buffy deadpanned.

“I know,” Spike deadpanned right back.

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Dawn never knew I did that. It was only a couple of times. And she’s not gonna find out, right Spike?” He flashed her a wicked grin and she feigned shock. “ _Right_ , Spike?!” she repeated, emphasizing the unspoken threat.

“Don’t know if I can lie to the sis-in-law, pet. Wouldn’t be right. She’s family.”

“I’ll show you family!” exclaimed Buffy, jumping on top of him. “I’ll force you into silence.”

“Is that right?” said Spike, playfully wrestling with her, “And just how are you gonna do that?”

“Like this,” she said, cupping her hand around the base of his cock and putting her mouth over the top. He groaned, and she pulled back for a second to smile at him triumphantly. “Think it’ll work?”

“Won’t know ‘til you’ve finished,” said Spike, and she took him back into her mouth – deeper than before. Again, he moaned. Louder than before, too.

 

The next day was their last day off before Buffy had to return to work. Most of it had to be dedicated to traveling back south, but once more they took it at their leisure.

They took time to enjoy the countryside – avoiding the motorway, taking only the back roads – and enjoying each other.


	19. Confession and Trust

Spike and Buffy were back in their London apartment no more than five minutes when Buffy stepped on broken glass lying in their hallway that had originally formed part of their hallway mirror. At her yelp, Dawn came running out of the living room full of apologies.

“Sorry, sorry! I was just about to pick that up, I swear!”

“It’s okay,” Buffy assured her, teeth gritted as she pulled the larger fragments out of her foot using her fingers. “That’ll teach me to wear sandals in February.”

Spike was not so forgiving, however. “It’s not bloody okay!” he yelled, his face uncharacteristically red.

Both Buffy and Dawn flinched at the sudden rage

“You coulda really hurt her,” he continued. “I thought we told you to be careful, Bit?!”

“Spike, calm down,” Buffy urged him, “It’s really okay. I’m okay.”

“You didn’t need to yell,” Dawn blurted, tears forming in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to, honest. It was an accident!”

At that point, Giles walked through the front door carrying a dustpan and brush. “What’s the shouting about?” he asked, eyeing Spike. “I could hear you the whole way downstairs.”

Guilt washed over Spike almost as quickly as his anger had, the moment earlier. “’m sorry,” he said, at first to no one in particular, then repeating it in Dawn’s direction.

She shook her head, walking away from him back into the living room.

“What the hell was that?” Buffy demanded, complete with slayer death glare. “Why so harsh?” At Spike’s inability to explain himself, she dismissed him, following after Dawn.

 

Dawn helped Buffy to the couch and handed her a first aid kit, sniffling all the while.

“He shouldn’t have lost it like that,” Buffy told her, tucking a loose strand of Dawn’s hair behind her ear. “I don’t know what got into him, but I’ll deal with it later. Are you okay?”

Dawn nodded. “I’m sorry I messed up.”

“Hey, how many times do I gotta tell you? It’s okay.” Both sisters forced a smile, though Dawn’s became more of a grimace after a moment or two. Buffy handed her some tweezers. “Help me get this last bit out, would you?”

 

Giles and Spike remained stood in the hallway, the latter with his head down, half trying to think of a way to explain his outburst, and half trying to stop himself from having a second one.

“Do you still crave blood?” Giles asked him, outright.

“What?!” Spike exclaimed, his eyes widening. “That’s not what this… It’s not about- I haven’t touched a drop!”

The Watcher remained calm. “That’s not what I asked,” he pointed out, before repeating the question.

Spike pouted and hung his head again, silently telling him all he needed to know.

“Buffy?” Giles called into the other room, “Could we speak with you a moment?”

The now bandaged Slayer limped out into the hallway again. “What’s going on?” she asked, suspiciously glancing between her father figure and her husband.

Spike’s eyes grew wider still, wondering just how she was gonna react to this little revelation.

“It seems Spike overreacted because you were bleeding,” Giles explained.

“Huh?” came the response, eloquent as ever.

“I… uh. Blood,” said Spike, scratching his head, unwilling to meet her eyes. “Don’t need the stuff, anymore. But I…” he swallowed. “Still crave it. Not all blood, exactly. Yours, exactly, as it happens. It, um… kinda sets me off.”

Buffy blinked. “Again I say huh?”

Spike finally looked at her straight again. “I’m sorry, luv. I should have told you. Didn’t exactly know at first, and then I hoped it would, y’know…”

“Go away? Not come up?” Buffy guessed.

“Well, yeah,” he said, paying particular attention to his boots once more.

“Right,” said Buffy, looking at Giles. “I think I need a talk with my husband. Could you take Dawn home, make sure she’s okay?”

Giles looked concerned but said nothing, simply handing her the dustpan and lifting his coat.

“Dawn,” Buffy called to her sister, “Giles is going. Spike’s not feeling very well.”

The teenager appeared at the doorway sporting a startled rabbit expression. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing big. He’ll be fine,” Buffy reassured her. “Got a problem, but we’ll fix it and it’ll be okay. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Spike?” said Dawn, wanting to hear confirmation from the horse’s mouth.

“Never gonna yell at you again, Niblet,” he told her. “Forgive a stupid old man who doesn’t deserve it?”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “If you can forgive the mirror, and the blood.”

Spike winced at the reminder of Buffy’s injury he didn’t need. “Course I forgive you,” he ground out.

“I’ll call you later,” said Buffy, drawing her sister’s attention back to herself. “Giles,” she continued, taking hold of her Watcher’s arm and guiding him to the front door, “I trust you’ll research, or… something.” Whispering, she added, “Don’t say anything to her. And don’t worry.”

Giles gave her a look that spoke volumes but she ignored it, speaking loudly again, “Okay, have fun. Don’t have too much ice cream!”

“We’re getting ice cream?” Dawn exclaimed, perking up again as Buffy closed the door behind her.

 

When Buffy and Spike were alone, they took a moment to just look at each other, not saying anything. Finally, though, Buffy sighed. “I really wish you’d said something before. But I meant what I said, we’ll deal.”

Spike had a look in his eyes that Buffy had become well acquainted with: awe.

“I’m gonna make tea,” she announced, moving past him, “Why don’t you pick up the rest of the glass?”

Spike reached for her, and she folded into his embrace. There was so much he could say - that he really wanted to express out loud - but somehow it wasn’t necessary.

Eventually, the hug ended and they went about their tasks.  

 

\---

 

Spike drank his tea as Buffy unpacked the large backpack they’d taken to Scotland with them. She could feel him staring at her, and after a while it became too much. Turning to face him, she asked, “Is the smell still bothering you?”

He shook his head. “The fact that we’re not talking about this is bothering me. Buffy, the last thing I want to do is upset you.”

She sighed. “I’m not upset with you, I’m just trying to figure you out.”

“’m not hiding anything else,” Spike promised. “There’s nothing more to it than what you know.”

“That’s not what I meant. I know you don’t understand what’s going on – why you want my blood, or whatever, but somebody somewhere must know, and I want to find out. It’s not your fault. You know I don’t hold it against you, right?”

Spike breathed a heavy sigh of relief, before agreeing, “Yeah. Right.”

Buffy looked at him intently. “You thought I was mad at you?”

“Well, yeah. I wouldn’t blame you.”

“Spike, this is not your fault,” she reiterated. “You didn’t ask for the… _desire_ and, yeah, telling me before now would have been a smart idea, because maybe we could have avoided the little scene we had, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s not unforgivable.”

“But what if I’m a monster?” said Spike. “I fought to get rid of that side of me, for you. What if it was all for nothing?”

Buffy put down the laundry she was holding and walked over to him, placing a hand softly on his cheek. “Then I wouldn’t care. You’re still you, and I love you.”

“Buffy, I-”

“Shh,” she said, cutting him off. “I love you. Let’s just go to bed, I gotta be up early for work.”

 

In the morning, Spike tried to raise the subject again, but Buffy shrugged it off.

“We can talk about it when I get home,” she said. “Then we’ll get Giles ‘round, see if he’s got any info. In the meantime, you are not going to worry, got it?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spike agreed.

 

When Buffy walked in their front door later that day, she found him pacing.

“This is what not worrying looks like?”

“I, uh… yeah.” He stopped, looking down. “Sorry.”

Buffy rolled her eyes and set down her handbag. “You weren’t worried before I knew, so why is it suddenly panic worthy?”

“I never almost bit off Niblet’s head before, did I?”

Buffy smiled at him.

“What?” he asked, defensive.

“You. Feeling guilty for making someone else upset. It just shows how far you’ve come. Monster indeed,” she shook her head.

“I didn’t like upsetting Summers women even while I was still a vampire, if you’ll remember,” Spike pointed out.

“I remember,” she affirmed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Spike glanced at her bandaged wrist. “Dressing needs changed.”

Buffy frowned. “You can smell my tattoo healing? Wait, that’s why you went outside while I got it done?” He hung his head again in answer. “Spike!”

“I know, I know, I should have said something. I’m sorry.”

“I know you are,” Buffy told him, withdrawing her arms and kissing him.

 

While she was washing up in their en-suite, she called out to Spike, who was sitting on their bed.

“When did you first discover the blood thing anyway?”

There was silence.

“Spike?”

“Bloody hell.”

“What?” she said, popping her head around the door.

“Do I have to admit it? You’ll probably slap me.”

Her brow furrowed. “Why?”

“Cause it’s _gross_ ,” he said, mimicking her voice, “Or so you’d think. Seems perfectly natural to me, now.”

Silently, she waited for him to continue. And with a deep sigh he admitted, “The first time you got your monthlies, alright?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, come on,” he braced himself. “Let’s be having that slap.”

“I’m not going to slap you.”

Spike’s lips curled up into a contemplative look. “You are taking this whole thing better than expected.”

“Better than you,” said Buffy, re-wrapping her tattoo and joining him on the bed. “I totally don’t want this to be the only thing we talk about all day, but I’ve been thinking…”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. If you want my blood there must be a reason, right?”

“I guess.”

“The-powers-that-screw-up-people’s-lives destined you to become human, from the beginning, it seems. If that prophecy is anything to go by, anyway.”

Spike smirked slightly at the levity in her tone as she continued. “And, so, I’m thinking the P.T.S.U.P.L.-”

“P.T.B., luv. It’s easier to say.”

“Fine,” she allowed, cuddling into him. “ _The PTB_ must have allowed you to keep some of your abilities, and they must have allowed this, too. So, logically they’ll have a purpose for it, which means it’s good.”

“I’m not sure it’s that simple.”

“Okay, probably not – it never is with them – but still, I think the basic theory holds water,” she frowned, “Whatever that even means.

“I do think there’s a good reason for your desire, and maybe…”

“Maybe?” Spike pressed.

“Maybe it’s that they want us to claim each other, like you said. It could be like their gift to us.”

Spike was shocked. More than shocked. Shocked was a major understatement. “Be a hell of a gift, pet,” he exclaimed. “I wish they’d left a tag on it.”

“You don’t think it’s possible?”

“I…” he paused, turning the idea over in his mind. “I don’t know. Let’s see what Rupes has to say.”

 

Rupert Giles was appalled by Buffy’s theory.

“I cannot imagine for one minute that the Powers that Be would ever allow such an activity, let alone endorse it!”

“No, Giles,” Buffy insisted, “I’ve thought about this. It’s the only explanation that makes any sense. I don’t know the details but I know I’m right about this. Unless your books say otherwise?”

The Watcher clamped his mouth shut at the question.

“As I thought,” said Buffy.

“Cuppa tea?” Spike asked the fellow Englishman, desperately trying to break the tension.

Giles ignored him, and Buffy continued, “I don’t know how it’s going to work, with him being all non-fangy these days, but there must be a way.”

“Wait, Buffy, you’re seriously planning out the practicalities of this without more information? That strikes me as extremely reckless. I expected better from you.”

The Slayer frowned – equal parts hurt and angered. Spike, in turn, traced circles in the skin of her lower back using the pad of his thumb.

“We’re doing this,” Buffy told Giles, point blank. “Even if it’s not the right answer, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Wouldn’t hurt?!” Giles blustered, too perturbed to even clean his glasses.

“Figuratively speaking,” said Buffy. “I see no bad coming from us being mated.”

“Then that shows how truly blind you are!”

“Oi, watch it, Rupert,” Spike warned.

The Watcher turned on him. “What exactly have you told her? Sold her some romantic fantasy about such an unnatural act, no doubt.”

Spike was beginning to get angry, too. “I said watch it.”

“I know what I’m getting myself into,” Buffy interjected. “And it was my idea. You know what? I don’t deserve to have my judgment questioned. Remember how well that’s gone for you in the past? You should be thankful I’m even letting you in on this at all!”

He was visibly stung by her words, but it didn’t change his opinion.

“I can’t stop you from doing what you want,” he began, at which Spike snorted, but that only seemed to encourage Giles in his tirade. “If you don’t respect my opinion then perhaps I’ll stop providing it.”

“There’s a difference between respecting your opinion and following it,” said Buffy, exasperated.

Giles shook his head in resignation, took a final look at her, and then exited the apartment without another word.

When Spike turned Buffy around to face him, her eyes flooded with tears.

“He left,” she stuttered. “Oh god, he just left!”

“Oh, Buffy,” Spike soothed, holding her close.


	20. The Act and The Aftermath

Spike wanted to confront Giles to make him apologize for upsetting Buffy, but she wouldn’t let him.

“Forget him,” she said, “Just for tonight. I don’t want him spoiling the rest of our evening.”

“You, uh… want this evening to be special?”

“Is that your way of asking me if I want to do the claim tonight?”

“Don’t need to rush,” Spike mumbled, ducking his head.

Buffy approached him, lifting his chin until he was looking her in the eye as she asked, “Do you want to do this?”

“I… Buffy. I don’t want to ask.”

“What?” Her voice trembled a little, his nervousness having rubbed off on her.

Finally, he swallowed and looked at her earnestly. “I have to ask you… have to make sure.”

She was silent, waiting for him to form the words.

“You’re doing this for the right reasons, right?”

“ _We_ ’re doing this, for us. Nothing else matters,” she answered, softly, before kissing him deeply. “I’m going for a shower. Why don’t you change the bedding? Put on the red ones.”

He nodded, kissing her again before she pulled away to undress.

 

Buffy was still showering by the time Spike was done making the bed. He sat idly in the living room, contemplating his long existence – as he’d gotten into the habit of doing.

“Come a long way, William,” he muttered to himself, overcome with how surreal his situation was. Finally he stood, ready to start pacing the floor again, when he heard Buffy call his name from the bedroom.

Opening their bedroom door, he was then greeted by the sight of her wearing his leather duster. Wearing _only_ his leather duster.

“Bloody hell,” he exclaimed, his pants tightening.

“Like it?” she asked, smiling, “Thought we could make some new memories. Give _this_ coat some history.”

“Bloody hell,” he said again, “I love you, woman!”

Her smile widened, and he approached her, lifting her in his arms and putting her down on the bed. Hungrily, he consumed her mouth and his hands wandered, eliciting little moans.

Through heavy breaths, he asked her, “How are we doing this?”

Buffy was perplexed for a moment, but then his meaning dawned on her. “Do it sometime in the middle, I guess?”

Spike chuckled. “Yeah, luv. Think I can pick the perfect moment,” he said, grinding against her hips. “Don’t we need a knife, though?”

Buffy shook her head as she fought to undo his flies. “It’ill hurt a little more, but you should be able to break the skin with blunt teeth, right?”

Spike stilled her hands and released himself from the confine of his jeans.

“Don’t want to hurt you, luv.”

“Good pain,” she said, “Not _pain_ -pain. You taught me that.”

He couldn’t help put grin. “You’re sure?”

“Sure,” she affirmed, “Now take your clothes off.”

Obediently, and with great enthusiasm, he complied.

 

As Spike rocked Buffy towards her third orgasm, he felt pain in his head similar to the night he’d first began his transition into becoming human.

“Buffy, uh,” he said, panting. “Think something’s… happening.”

“Umm,” she moaned in response, not really able to take in his words.

“Buffy,” he said again, as he lost control and the bones in his face shifted into that of his old vampire visage. Instinct overcame him, and he slid his fangs into her soft neck while still thrusting his hips.

Buffy moaned louder and titled her head more to the side, allowing him greater access. Taking a single gulp of blood, Spike licked the wound closed and whispered “Mine” against her skin.

“Yours!” she agreed, before biting his neck in return, declaring, “Mine!” over him as she tipped into ecstasy.

“Yours,” Spike moaned, spilling his seed inside her as his face returned to normal.

Instantly, they fell asleep and the vision began…

 

A woman clothed in lilac robes approached them – her face obscured with a radiant light.

“Warriors,” she addressed them, “You have received your reward. Your union is now complete. Be blessed.”

And that was it.

They blinked and the woman was gone. They were back in their bedroom, looking at each other in darkness, as at some point night had fallen around them.

 

“Wow,” Buffy had said.

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, blinking.

“Bloodlust?” she enquired.

“Gone,” he confirmed. “How do you feel?”

She blushed, admitting, “Kind of turned on, actually.”

Spike grinned wickedly, before leaning in to kiss her.

Buffy took the next day off work, deciding to spend it in bed.

The day after that, Buffy came home in a huff. Frustrated, she threw down her handbag and stomped over to Spike, who was sat at the table, taking a break from filling in job application forms.

“What’s up, luv?” he asked, pulling her into his lap.

“I got called into a review meeting at work. Apparently they don’t take too kindly to me blowing off my job and then turning up with something that looks suspiciously like a hickey.”

“That so,” said Spike, trying to sound sympathetic.

“Yeah,” she pouted, “They gave me an official warning. Can you believe that?!”

Wrapping his arms around her, he drawled, “I guess I’ll have to make up for that.”

“But, umm… oh!” Buffy muttered, getting caught up in the moment.

Returning to her senses a half hour later – in the middle of the kitchen floor – she rolled over on her side and looked at her panting husband.

“That’s one way to relieve tension,” he noted.

“Uh huh,” she nodded, looking down at her legs and wondering when she was likely to regain feeling in them. “Have you, uh, noticed that it’s more, umm…”

“Intense?” Spike finished, grinning. “Yeah.”

“I didn’t think it was possible,” said Buffy.

He turned to face her more, tracing invisible lines gently across her flesh as he mused, “Think we’d already found our physical intensity. And our emotional. Now we’ve got a spiritual connection, it opens more doors.”

“And I’m guessing more intense sex isn’t gonna be the only side effect, right?”

“It… How I understand it, it’s like, before I knew how you were feeling. But now it’s more. I feel what you feel, an’ our feelings feed off each other.”

“That’s it!” said Buffy. “That’s what it’s like. You feel good, which I can feel, which makes me feel good, and it just one big goodness-fest.” Then she frowned, and he felt uneasiness ripple through him. There was a question in his eyes that he didn’t need to verbalize. “I’m guessing it works both ways,” she continued. “We share bad feelings now too?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah, but it doesn’t create the bad feelings in the first place. They come regardless. Now you’ve just got someone to share the burden with.”

That made her relax again. “Good way to think about it.”

He sat up, then, and helped her to her feet.

Buffy pouted. “Only one round?”

Spike smirked at her. “You’re hungry. Gotta feed you before I shag your brains out.”

Scrunching up her nose, she asked, “You can feel my hunger?”

“No,” he laughed, “I can hear your stomach beginning to rumble, though.”

“Oh.”

 

Later, after food, Buffy decided it was time to check in on Dawn, and that meant facing her ex-watcher too. The Slayer cursed her rotten luck as her sister wasn’t home.

“You went through with it then, I assume?” Giles asked, as the couple sat awkwardly across from him.

“We did,” Buffy confirmed.

“And it solved the problem?”

“It did,” said Spike.

Giles was taken aback. “I didn’t expect that.”

“We know,” the couple said in unison, and then shared a look.

“Can I… I mean. I don’t want, uh.”

Spike shook his head and finished Rupert’s sentence for him, “You don’t want the gory details, but you want to understand the process, yeah?”

Giles nodded, removing his glasses.

Continuing, Spike said, “Ask away, just one thing first. Don’t you ever hurt my girl like that again, got it?”

“Spike!” Buffy reprimanded him.

“What? It’s not right he makes you cry and then gets bloody forgiven just like that, without even saying he’s sorry.”

The watcher looked sheepish. He hadn’t meant to make her cry, but the fact that what he said upset her gave him hope that his opinion really did mean something to her after all.

“I am sorry,” he said, finally.

“Thank you,” said Buffy, but it was aimed at Spike. He smiled back at her, which reminded Giles of his questions about their newfound connection.

His fascination grew the more they told him, and so did their frustration.

“Uh, Giles,” Buffy finally spoke up, “I have work tomorrow, and it’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, “Plus I gotta take this one home and sha–”

Buffy elbowed him in the ribs, cutting off his comment. “Uh, yeah. Very _tired_. Any more questions just email them over. Tell Dawn I’ll catch her later!”


	21. Adulting

After yet another mind-numbing day at work, Buffy returned home and quietly shrugged off her coat. Walking into the bedroom to search for Spike, she found him listening to some kind of pop-rock on the stereo while he lay atop the bed, fully clothed, eyes closed and hands clasped behind his head. She smiled and went to lay next to him, resting her head on his chest.

Automatically, he put his arm around her.

“How’s the day job?” he asked, eyes still closed.

“Meh. Same old, same old. You?”

Spike sighed and shook his head. “Still nothin’.”

Knowing how much his job hunt was getting him down, Buffy changed the subject. “What’s this song?”

“Relax, by Frankie goes to Hollywood.”

The Slayer’s face scrunched up a little. “Are they new?”

“Old,” he corrected. “Probably around the time you were popping out yer mum.”

“Eww, gross, Spike!”

“Sorry,” he said, halfheartedly, before finally sitting up and looking at his girl. “Glad to be home?”

“Oh yeah!” Buffy enthused, taking off her shoes and beginning to unbutton her shirt. “Now, can we get to the part where you distract me from the fact that I ever left?”

That earned her a smirk. “Sure thing, sweets.”

 

\---

 

Distraction complete, Buffy and Spike lay side by side again, their rapid heartbeats in sync.

“Married life is good,” said Buffy.

“Yeah,” Spike agreed, then added, “We need a new bed.”

“Huh?” She glanced over at him.

“The bed. One more good pound in it and it’ll break.”

“Oh.” Buffy pouted. “What’s that, like, the third one?”

“Second at this place. Only three if you count the one at Rupes.”

Buffy’s pout turned into a frown. “We still haven’t paid him for that, have we?”

“Nah. Don’t think he’s holding his breath, luv.”

“Still. It doesn’t seem right. Not when he’s taking care of Dawn for nothing.”

Running a hand through his hair, Spike grumbled, “That’s all well an’ good, but where we gonna get the cash?”

Buffy sighed. Suddenly they were back at the job conversation again.

“Maybe I could put my name forward for another promotion,” she suggested. “They won’t like that I’ve an official warning hanging over me, and they still haven’t forgotten about the time I got you to work there, but I think I could talk them round.”

Spike shook his head. “You already work late most nights, luv. It’s not fair on you.”

“I know, but if it’s what we need to do.”

“What we need to do is find someone who’ll give a fully grown adult with no experience or qualifications a break. Or, well, no qualifications that I can tell them about.”

“You can’t change the date on your degree?”

“Didn’t take the certificate with me when I went off on a round the world bloodbath tour, did I? An’ I think moving it forward by over a century would be a bit much anyway.”

“Right,” Buffy sighed again. “Sorry. Not helping.”

“Hey, no,” said Spike, reaching out to her. “You help. It’s jus’… Well, I’m bleedin’ useless, aren’t I?”

Buffy reached for him too; looked deep in his eyes, and shook her head saying, “You’re not useless. Not useless at all! Spike, I love you. You’re so much to me.”

“Yeah,” he replied, “But I’m making your life hard. Having to support me. I know you hate your job, no point trying to deny it.”

She’d been denying it for months, but now agreed there wasn’t much point anymore, so she kissed him instead.

“I’d work twenty-four hours a day, six days a week as long as I got to be with you the other one.”

Spike almost smiled, holding her tighter. “I know, luv. But it’s not the way it should be.”

What could she say to that? They _would_ both be happier if he found work. They would find the bills easier to manage, be able to replace the mirror Dawn smashed, and put a deposit on another new bed.

“I know,” she admitted finally, in a whisper, before repeating, “I love you.”

Spike kissed her softly and stroked her cheek. “Don’t take on more hours. Not yet. Give me a couple more weeks, yeah?”

“Yeah, okay. We’ll figure something out.”

“Always do,” he affirmed, “Sooner or later.” Then he began to muse, “Maybe… maybe I’m looking in the wrong place.”

Buffy tilted her head in question, “Meaning?”

“Meaning, maybe there’d be more opportunities elsewhere? Weren’t we considerin’ moving back to the states? All this job huntin’ could be a big waste a’ time if we’re not gonna be here in a few months.”

She considered that. It wasn’t something she’d really thought about since they first discussed it.

“I still haven’t spoken to Dawn. But I will! She’s coming over later, by the way…” Buffy paused to glance at the clock, “Uh, in about twenty minutes, actually.”

“And, if she intends to go back?” Spike pressed.

“Then I think I want us to, too. Is that… would you be okay?”

Spike looked at her. “Buffy, luv, ain’t that what I just been tellin’ you? Not exactly one to agree just for the hell of it.”

“No, you’re not,” she allowed, then shrugged, “I guess it’s a good thing we never unpacked properly.”

“Always look on the bright side,” Spike grumbled, rolling his eyes.

“That’s the spirit!” Buffy teased, perky enough for both of them.

Following her lead, Spike snapped himself out of his slump – literally and metaphorically. “Right, okay,” he said, sitting up. “Wanna have some fun later?”

That earned him another quizzical look, so he elaborated. “Not that. I mean, yeah, we’ll do that again, but Slaying. You up for it?”

“Totally!” said Buffy, the perkiness real this time. “It’s been way too long since I beat something up. You have the best ideas.”

With a smirk, Spike said, “That’s my girl.”


	22. Thrown for a Loop

Spike and Buffy lay fully naked in their newly broken bed – complete with sheets and comforter thrown off, and wet patches on the mattress in various places – both somewhat short of breath. Beyond caring about the state of it, Buffy thought about how post-slaying sex was always rougher.

“That,” said Spike, interrupting her thoughts, “Is never gonna get old.”

“Totally!” Buffy agreed, before starting to think about it. “Hey,” she said then, suddenly, “Speaking of old. Do you think we’ll still be sexy when we’re, like, eighty?”

“Well, I’m already well over a hundred, luv, an’ you can’t deny I’ve still got it,” Spike replied with a smirk.

She laughed. “True, but I-”

Pressing his lips to hers, mid-sentence, he interrupted her again, and when he pulled away, she conceded the point. “Yes, okay. We’ll have chemistry ‘till we die. Probably long after, knowing us. Because it’s us. And between us it’s, what? Six lives? Six and a half if you count the time I was shot. Oh, maybe we’re like cats.”

Spike chuckled. “I do love what goes on in that pretty little head sometimes.”

“Oh yeah,” said Buffy, “Only sometimes?”

A wide grin spread across his face in response, and she stared at him, silently daring him to dig his own grave. Never one to back down, he laid a kiss at the corner of her mouth before starting off.

“I” – he laid a kiss against her chin – “Don’t” – kiss to her throat – “Know” – kisses down her neck. Buffy let out a little moan, and he carried on – “All. The. Things.” – three kisses along her color bone – “You. Think.” – two kisses down her sternum – “But… I… know” – three long, drawn-out kisses across the top of her left breast – “What. You. Call. Out” – back to faster kissing, across to her right breast – “When… I’m…” – kisses down her flat stomach, while sliding his hand between her legs and gliding his fingertips across her clit – “ _Inside you_.”

With his final words, Spike pressed two fingers into her heat, which contracted around him. Buffy moaned again, and he took a moment to just stare at her in awe before shifting into a look of deep concentration. After a couple more seconds of him being still, Buffy opened her eyes and looked at him, questioningly.

“What’s wrong? I was kinda enjoying that.”

“I, you…” he stammered, still looking confused.

Buffy sat up, and he slid his fingers most of the way out, then back in again, forcing her eyes shut in pleasure once more.

“Spike,” she said, breathlessly, “What are you thinking?”

Again he pulled his fingers in and out of her opening, then he said, “Would you say you’re more sensitive than usual?”

Buffy was taken aback by the question, but she couldn’t think about it properly while he was still massaging away. As much as she hated herself for it, she pulled his hand away from her pleasure center and looked him dead in the eye. “What’s up?”

She’d never seen him like that before – like a zombie who couldn’t quite remember who they were. Well, maybe once, but she wasn’t thinking about that. Eventually, the glazed look in his eyes left him, and he returned her stare. Focused.

“Spike, you’re kinda wigging me out here.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded.

Buffy frowned. “That I’ve been more sensitive?” she questioned. “I… hadn’t really thought about it. Well, hadn’t really noticed would be more accurate.”

“No, Buffy, why didn’t you-” he began again, before his brain caught up with him. “You don’t know,” he said, then, letting out a sigh of relief as realization dawned on him. “You weren’t keeping it from me.”

Spike shook his head as if to clear it, then criticized himself, “Should have noticed before.”

“Spike, I don’t know what you’re-”

“Shhh,” he interrupted her one final time, before laying her down on her back again and placing an ear to her belly.

“Spike?” she repeated his name in a pleading whisper, “Tell me what’s wrong. _Please_.”

When his head came up again, his grin was back, but Buffy was so lost in worry at his odd behavior that she couldn’t focus on anything.

“It’s a heartbeat,” he explained, but she didn’t catch it. Slowly he said again, “Buffy, there’s a second heartbeat, growing inside you.”

“There’s a,” she began, her own eyes then glossing over. “There’s a second heartbeat? That means… that means…?!”

“It means that we’re having a baby,” Spike provided.

“Oh,” was all she could say, before everything went black and words were no longer an issue.

 

Waking up a couple minutes later, Buffy looked up to find Spike holding a damp washcloth held to her forehead.

“I fainted?” she asked, despite knowing how redundant it was.

“Yeah,” he affirmed, pouting.

Trying to sit up again, she said, “I just… you. We,” she blinked. “Wow.”

“Take it easy now, pet, know it’s a shock.”

She was silent for a moment, eyes still wide, but slowly a smile came to her lips, and tears came to her eyes. “We’re gonna have a baby?”

“Yes, luv,” Spike told her, and she reached out to take a firm grip of him in her arms.

“Spike!” she said, her voice suddenly raised. “I’m having your child!”

He chuckled, “Yeah, luv, I know.”

Then she pulled back from the embrace and looked at him again. “I’m having your baby,” she repeated. “I’m having your baby and – you. You still have vampire hearing?”

“I, well, yeah,” he stammered. “Guess I do. Should probably get Giles to add that to the list.”

“Giles!” Buffy shouted – voice raising another octave. “I have to tell Giles! And Dawn!” Then she took on a look of someone who’d just been deflated, and the tears threatened to come again, tinged with sudden sadness.

“Buffy?” Spike questioned, half convinced she was taking revenge on him for worrying her with his odd behavior, before.

“My mom won’t get to know,” she blurted, and his heart suddenly tore in two.

“Oh, Buffy,” he said, pulling her back into his arms and petting her hair. “She’ll know, of course she’ll know.”


	23. Confirmation and Panic

The shop girl seemed irritated by the mere presence of customers in her store. Looking up at Buffy with a scowl, she then looked past her to where Spike was examining bottles of pills and made no effort to try and hide the fact she found him attractive, running her eyes up and down his body. When she caught the look Buffy gave her in return, though, she went back to scowling.

“Look, if you and your boyfriend ain’t gonna buy anyth-”

“He is _not_ my boyfriend,” Buffy interrupted her, and the girl was visibly taken aback, but not as much as Spike. He turned to face her, raising both eyebrows, caught between fear and confusion. Buffy winked at him before concluding, “He’s my _husband_.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Spike stalked over to her and grabbed hold of her slim figure, spinning her around slightly as he kissed her. “Had me going for a moment there, Slayer,” he whispered in her ear.

Buffy smiled up at him. “Couldn’t resist.”

Once more, he pulled her closer. “I’ll show you what I can’t resist.”

Simultaneously blushing and giggling, Buffy pushed him away slightly. “Not here.”

“Yeah,” agreed the shop girl, rolling her eyes, “Not here.”

Spike kissed Buffy once more before letting her go and turning to put the items he’d selected – a pregnancy test and folic acid tablets – on the counter, for the girl to ring up.

Telling him the price, Spike noted an air of judgment from the girl regarding the test. She was really pissing him off. Snatching the receipt and his change from her hand, he leaned in close, almost snarling. “Have you got a problem?”

“No,” she said, clearly trying to sound confident, but he could hear her heart racing in fear.

Pushing forward across the counter a couple more inches, getting right into her face, he whispered, “Good,” before pulling away completely and carrying Buffy out of the store.

“What is wrong with bloody people?!” he exclaimed, once on the sidewalk.

Buffy laughed and shook her head at him. “You shouldn’t get so wound up. She’s not worth it.”

“No,” he agreed, “She’s not, but you don’t deserve that. You’re worth everything.”

That was all he needed to say to get her kissing him passionately again.

 

\---

 

Buffy sat on the edge of the bath looking the instructions for the testing kit, and Spike stood against the wall, watching.

“How many times you gonna read that, luv?” he asked, finally. “It’s not rocket science. You piss on a stick and it changes color.”

She looked up at him with a frown. “I’m wondering if it’ll work right now.”

“Why?”

“Well, because we just… did that thing, and won’t our, y’know… fluids, or whatever, mess it up or something?”

Spike shook his head and kneeled beside her, “How can you do the things we do and still be all shy about it sometimes?”

“I… I don’t know. I’m scared.”

“You forget we already know the answer,” he pointed out.

That caused her to smile. “It’s really real?”

“Really is. Just take the test, you’ll see.”

Buffy nodded, and Spike went to leave the room.

“No, stay!” she commanded him, then added more softly, “I mean, if that’s okay? Is that gross?”

Spike shook his head again, “Nothing you do is gross to me. But I am gonna turn my back, alright, Slayer?”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

 

\---

 

“Spike!” Buffy yelled, making him spin around in a panic.

“What? You okay?”

“I’m, yes! Spike, I’m pregnant!”

Taking a breath, he said, “You’re a daft bloody woman.” Then he smiled – a wide satisfied smile – and she beamed back at him.

“Spike?” she added in a whisper.

“Yeah?”

“Take me to bed.”

 

\---

 

Spike woke up to Buffy making the most unholy racket.

“What the bleeding hell are you doing, woman?” he demanded, propping himself up on his elbows.

Briefly, the Slayer popped her head out of the closet she was rummaging through to look at him and mutter, “Freaking out,” before beginning her search again, knocking over more boxes in the process.

Spike got up and put his hands on her shoulders, pulling her back against his chest where she rested for a moment, letting out a deep sigh.

“Buffy?” was all he said, and she sighed again before turning around into his arms fully.

“Felt a bit panic-y,” she admitted. “Woke up realizing we’re gonna have a little tiny human to take care of in practically no time at all and we have nothing ready.”

Spike grinned a little then kissed the top of her head. “We’ve got about seven months, luv. Plenty of time to prepare.”

Buffy’s eyes went wide. “SEVEN months?! I thought we had nine! Does it take less time because we’re special? Or because something’s wrong? Oh, God!”

Resisting the urge to chuckle, Spike started rubbing his hands down her bare arms. “Nothing’s wrong. You’re having a normal nine months pregnancy, you just so happen to be about two months through it already.”

“Oh,” she said. “Huh?”

He shook his head and guided her over to sit on their bed. “No one ever explain this to you?”

She just looked at him, still wide-eyed.

“Most women don’t find out about their pregnancy until part way through it. We only made the discovery because I heard the heart beating, which doesn’t start until about a month and a half in.”

“How do _you_ know this?” Buffy asked, making him suddenly avert her gaze. “Spike?”

“Well,” he began, looking bashful, “For one thing, I’m old enough to have picked up a few tidbits of information over the years, even if it never affected me before. And, secondly…” he tapered off, lifting one of his hands away from her to reach into the drawer in his nightstand to pull out a copy of ‘What to Expect When You’re Expecting’ and placing it in her lap. “Did a little shoplifting while we were out. Bitch deserved it.”

Completely ignoring her husband’s brief return to petty crime, Buffy’s eyes softened and filled with awe-like wonder. “You’re really excited for this baby, aren’t you?”

“To borrow a phrase, luv, I’d have to say ‘Duh’!”

Buffy giggled and reached up to let her fingers trace the curve of his smile. “You’re gonna be a great father,” she whispered. And suddenly there was a look of awe in his eyes, too.

“You really think so?” he asked.

“I know so,” she confirmed.

He kissed her, then, and told her how much he loved her.

“I love you, too,” she replied, “I know I don’t tell you enough.”

Spike smiled and took her hands in his. “You show me, which will always mean the world. Now, are you going to stop flapping and interrupting my beauty sleep?”

Buffy stuck out her tongue at him playfully. “Sorry, Mr. Grumpy pants.”

He raised an eyebrow, laughing, “Mr. Grumpy Pants? You’re puns and comebacks have really gone downhill, luv. And you should know better than to tease me with that tongue of yours.”

Buffy blushed and gave him a chaste kiss. “Thank you for keeping me sane through all this.”

“My pleasure,” he said. “Insanity doesn’t turn me on as much as it used to.”

Buffy moved to slap him but he held up his hands in surrender. “Sorry. That wasn’t funny.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “Well it better be true regardless.”

He grinned. “You’ll be the only one that’ll ever turn me on, no matter if you ever go mad or not.”

“Good!” said Buffy. “Because I don’t know if I can keep it together throughout all this. I mean, look at me, I’ve known like a day and I’m already freaked.”

“The whole thing is kind of-”

“Terrifying,” she finished for him.

“Yeah,” he agreed.

“Isn’t it weird,” she mused, “That I can literally fight hell when it breaks lose, get stabbed and die and all sorts – learn how to deal with all that and then when it comes to losing mom, finding you again, or having a family, I become this little fainting damsel in distress? I don’t like it.” Buffy pouted, and Spike couldn’t help but find it adorable.

“S’not weird, luv. As we’ve covered, babies and the prospect of having them are downright scary. Demons? Not so much. Not for us, anyways.”

She nodded in agreement. “I guess you’re right. And I get what you meant, now. Like, really get it. When we finally got close, in those last days before the Hellmouth was gone for good. I understand the terror of getting what you want most.”


	24. Confrontation

Buffy told Giles she was expecting. Expecting – hoping, _praying_ – he’d be happy for her, but all she got was a, “Oh? You’re sure?”

“I’m sure,” she confirmed. “Did a test right after Spike realized.”

Giles took off his glasses and was busily cleaning them when he suddenly stopped, mid-movement. “You say Spike realized?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s the other thing. He still has super hearing. Or slightly diminished super hearing. Picked up on the heartbeat.”

Slipping his glasses back on, Giles sighed and looked contemplative.

“What?” Buffy asked, her hopes dashed.

“I…” he began. “I’m not sure this is good.”

Defensively, Buffy’s hand shot to her stomach. “What do you mean?”

“Well, what with Spike being part demon – we don’t know-”

“Whoa, hold on a minute!” she interrupted. “He’s human now. That’s how this happened. Vampires can’t exactly… y’know? You said his left over enhanced abilities were no big deal.”

“Well, they aren’t, exactly – for him. But when you bring another life into the equation, we simply don’t know how it could end up.

Buffy shook her head and slumped further into her chair. “I’m not following.”

Upon seeing her start to get upset, Giles sat down beside her, placing a hand reassuringly on her forearm before explaining, “When Spike was a vampire he was a demon, with elements of a man.”

“Yes,” said Buffy, “I know this. And?”

“And,” he continued, “When he became a human, as best as I’ve been able to figure, he became a man with elements of a demon. That’s why he retained some of his abilities, albeit to a lesser extent in most cases. But, the point is, it’s still part of him.”

“So, you’re saying what?”

“What I’m saying, Buffy, is that in all likelihood your child – if you decide to proceed with the pregnancy – is going to be part demon. And we can’t be sure how that could manifest.”

Buffy stood up, blinking at her ex-watcher. “If… _If_?!”

“I know this is a shock, but you really should have all the facts before you-”

“You,” she interrupted him again - her voice was getting higher and higher - “You think I could kill my baby? Spike’s baby? My mom’s grandchild?!”

“Buffy, I didn’t mean to-”

“No!” she yelled. “I can’t talk about this. I feel sick. I need to get out.”

Running to the door, she swung it wide open and ran into Spike in the hall, who had been making his way to the apartment. Collapsing into his arms in fits of tears, Spike took a tight hold of her before looking up at her watcher who’d followed her out and was now standing in the doorway looking guilty.

“Buffy, sweetheart, it’s okay. It’ll be okay,” he soothed, before snapping at the older man, “What the hell have you said now?!”

Giles began to answer, but Buffy lifted her head from Spike’s chest and demanded he stop.

“I can’t hear it again. Spike, just take me home, please? I… I’ll tell you - I’ll tell you later.”

“Sure thing, pet, of course,” he said, in as sweet a voice he could muster while giving her watcher his most pissed off look.

Hand in hand, they turned and walked away from him, but right before they reached the elevator Buffy turned back around, “Don’t tell Dawn, okay? I’ll break the news myself.”

“Buffy, I’m sorry,” said Giles, but she held up her hand to silence him.

“Save it,” she said.

 

\---

 

It took Buffy a long time to calm down, but once she lost the anger, it was replaced with fear.

“What if he’s right?” she asked her mate, hating the words as she said them. “What if this pregnancy won’t be good? Oh god, what if we made things worse, with the claim, and the tattoos?!”

Spike didn’t answer her – knowing full well there was no way he could give her certainties, much less convince her of them even if he could. Instead, he presented her with a tiny stuffed animal.

“They didn’t have any pig ones. Know your last one got all burnt up in the Hellmouth.”

“You wanted to replace Mr. Gordo?” Buffy asked, incredulous.

“Well, yeah, it meant a lot to you. Only a small thing for me to do.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head, “It means a lot.” Then she smiled through her tears, adding, “If the demon underworld could see you now.”

“You think I give a toss what the demon underworld thinks of me?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“Right, well. Okay, maybe I do,” he admitted, with a smirk which she returned briefly before her face fell again.

“You’ll be with me, no matter what?”

“Know I will, pet. Every day. Couldn’t shake me off even if you wanted to.”

Burying her head against his shoulder, she whispered, “That’s a lot more reassuring than it used to be.”

 

\---

 

Spike woke up to find Buffy fully dressed trying to sneak out of their bedroom.

“You’re a lot less good at _that_ than you used to be,” he commented, snagging her arm and dragging her back towards him. “Where you off to, Slayer?”

She hung her head a little. “I was gonna go for round two with Giles. Kinda wanted to do it alone.”

He sat up at that, his eyes narrowed. “Why?”

“Because I’m gonna try and be calm and not have the conversation end up with one of us making a dramatic exit that ends with me whimpering like a sap. I know you’d have my back, and I totally want that, but I also know he’s gonna say more things I don’t like, and I don’t want you losing it and beating him up – tempting as it’s been, lately.”

Spike considered that for a moment. “You’ve been thinking about this a while,” he said, finally. “You get _any_ rest?”

She shook her head. “Can’t, really, until this is done. Unresolved tension is _so_ not good for me.”

“Not gonna talk you outta this, then?” he asked.

“Nope.”

“Right, then. I’ll drive you over. Wait in the car. How’s that?”

Buffy smiled. “That’s perfect,” she said, leaning down to kiss him.

 

\---

 

Giles offered Buffy tea when she arrived.

“No,” she told him. “We can’t keep beating around the bush and pretending that things are okay. That _we_ are okay. Haven’t been for a long time, have we?”

He shook his head, hesitantly.

“There was always some apocalypse or other to keep us from having this out. So go for it, no more distractions, I’ve had enough.”

“What is it you want me to say, Buffy?”

“I want you to tell me about all the apprehensions you have about Spike, so I can tell you you’re wrong. I want you to see things from my side. See how much I love him, and need him and this baby, and I want you to finally understand and let go of those reasons. To stand behind me, like old times.”

Suddenly, tears appeared in her eyes. “I wanna be able to trust you, Giles. Fully. I wanna be able to forgive you.”

“Buffy,” he said, going to embrace her, but she pulled back and held up a hand.

“No. No comforting until this is done. Please. Please just let this be done.”

The Watcher nodded and got right to it. “I think what you and Spike are doing is very fast. Six months ago, you were moving on, then you got together, moved in, got married, even claimed each other, and now you want to have a child?”

“We didn’t plan this child, Giles. But, yes, I do want it. And before you go complaining about us only being together six months, let me remind you that you keeping secrets is one of the reasons we weren’t together earlier. Isn’t this what you want for me? To have a family? Isn’t that what a real father figure would want? Is that even what you still are?”

“I don’t know,” he answered, truthfully. “I want to be, but…”

Buffy cut him off, saying, “What you said to me was really shitty. Please tell me you understand that?”

“I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Buffy shook her head, “That’s not what I asked.”

Giles was silent, so she continued.

“You’ve done a lot for me, over the years. Loved and supported me in ways a lot of kids growing up with a single parent never get to experience. But you’ve also let me down, so badly, so many times that I don’t know what we are anymore. I mean, where did that support go? When did you stop trusting my judgment? When I was fighting hard to save my sister from a hell god? When you tried to take Spike out of my life? When you didn’t bother to tell me he was alive, or that apocalypses are happening all around in case I might get involved?”

With a sigh Giles said, “Everything I did I did out of good intentions, trying to keep you safe.”

“I know that,” she admitted. “I _do_ know you had good intentions, but… ever heard the phrase ‘Good intentions pave the way to hell’?”

“Buffy…”

“Angel left me because he thought it was the right thing for me. He didn’t ask me; didn’t consider how much it would hurt me. You’ve done just the same. That was Willow’s problem too – trying to pull me back from death without taking time to consider how it might affect me. Well I’m pretty sure I could go the rest of my life without people making decisions on my behalf. Can you be just open and honest with me – tell me what you think, and still stand by my side if I choose to go against your opinion? I mean, I have been wrong before, and I will be again, but these things are my choices. I felt the claim was right, and I feel my baby is right, too. Of course I do.”

She shook her head once more, trying to not cry again. “I’ve been blessed. Oh, OH, like the Goddess woman said. Except Spike thinks we’d already conceived by that point. But surely if there was something wrong she’d have said something, right? Warned us?”

With a final shake of her head, she cut off from her digression. “It doesn’t matter. I’m having this baby, no matter what. The question is if _you_ are gonna be a part of my life or not.”

The watcher contemplated her words for a long time, cleaning his glasses several times in the process, but Buffy waited for his response, refusing to say anything else until he’d sworn his allegiance to her.

It was taking too long, though, and she began to pace. After a while, Giles reached out to stop her.

Locked eye to eye, he said, “I’m grateful for being given the chance. You’re right, about how I’ve treated you. I’m-”

“Forgiven,” said Buffy suddenly, cutting him off, before launching herself into his arms. “Not gonna do this again, okay?”

“Agreed,” he said, a tear in his eye.


	25. Swallowing Pride (and Other Substances)

Spike was being loud in the kitchen – supposedly putting away dishes, but actually drumming out some rock ballad on the kitchen counter with utensils by the sound of it.

“Now what are you singing?” Buffy asked, sneaking up behind him and taking a great deal in pleasure at having made him jump – just a little.

Of course, he pretended it didn’t happen, which made her smile.

“Cigarettes and Alcohol, by Oasis,” he informed her.

“Ohhh,” she said, cheery mood increasing. “It’s you summed up in a song!”

“Funny, Slayer. We really need to get you some kind of education in good music.”

“You really need to stop calling me that,” she retorted, playfully swatting him away. “There’re so many Slayers now, I might as well just be a regular girl. Nothing special.”

“Rot!” he said, lifting her up in his arms. “Never be ordinary – either of us. Won’t matter how many people you’ve shared your power with, luv, it’ll still be yours.”

She didn’t argue with him, for once, she just kissed him and enjoyed the moment. He always had such a way of making her feel amazing.

 _Yes_ , she thought, _Today’s good mood is gonna hang around._

 

\---

 

“I have something to tell you,” announced Buffy, when they fell apart on the bed.

“Oh?” said Spike.

“Yeah…” she bit her lip. “I don’t think you’re gonna like it.”

“Oh.” he said again, with completely different intonation. “Waiting until you’d shagged me senseless was intentional then, was it, pet?”

Buffy shrugged before admitting, “Thought it might help. And it’s not like it’s bad news…”

He eyed her suspiciously before taking a deep breath. “Okay, come on. Spit it out.”

“I asked Giles to give you a job,” she told him. “Well, _asked_ probably isn’t the right word.”

Spike got up abruptly and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’ need a pity wage.”

“We do, actually,” Buffy reminded him.

“Well, maybe, but not from him, not after-”

“I told you we made up, didn’t I? Seriously, it’s all fixed.”

He pouted, then sighed. “When do I start?”

“Monday.”

“Doin’ what, exactly?”

“Well…”

“What?”

“I don’t know, _exactly_. Giles said he’d find something. But, oooh, it’ll be a handy job reference.”

Spike’s eyes narrowed further and he asked, “This really is a pity thing, ain’t it?”

“It’s a necessary thing,” Buffy replied, her hand automatically reaching for her still flat belly.

“Right,” Spike nodded, “I’ll do it.”

“You will?” her eyes lit up.

“Course, pet. Anything for you.”

Buffy smiled – a big, blinding, smile. “Thank you!”

He grinned in return, then his voice took on a husky tone. “Can think of plenty of ways to thank me properly.”

The Slayer blushed, biting her lip again. “Is all this sex good for the baby?”

“Doesn’t affect the sprog,” he assured her, gesturing to the book on his nightstand, “Says so on page 36.”

Buffy laughed. “Memorized the page number, huh? Bet that was the first thing you checked.”

Spike answered her with long, languid kisses down her body. “May have looked up a couple of other things, too.”

With a small gasp of pleasure, she asked, “Anything we can’t do?”

He grinned again. “You and me, Slayer? We can do everything.”

“Oh,” she said, “Ohhhh, I like that.”

 

\---

 

Monday morning, Buffy had a smile on her face as she ate her breakfast, sat across the kitchen table from her mate – her green eyes locked onto his blue.

“You’re gonna do great,” she told him.

“Yeah,” Spike replied, noncommittally. “Hey, wear a skirt today.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m gonna meet you for lunch,” he answered, a grin slipping onto his face.

“Oh,” Buffy blushed. “Okay.”

 

Four hours later, she ran into Spike in the lobby of her office block.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing her hand and leading her back out the way he came. “You ready?”

“ _So_ ready,” she replied, and he sped up.

When they reached a secluded area at the back of the building, just out of sight of the CCTV cameras, be began desperately kissing her – like they’d been separated for weeks.

“Love you,” he said, in between breaths.

“You too,” she replied, her heart speeding up as he pinned both of her arms above her head with his right hand. His left hand stroked the flesh of her thigh, then slid further up, under her skirt and pushed her panties aside.

“Oh, luv, so wet for me. Been excited all day?”

“Uh huh,” she nodded, and he kissed her again, pressing her head back against the brickwork. When she moaned into his mouth, he slipped two fingers inside her, pumping them in and out until the groan filled the entire alley. Then, in a flash, he released her arms and got to his knees, hooking one of her legs over his shoulder and using his right hand to brace himself against the wall behind her.

Placing his mouth at her core and setting to work bringing her back to orgasm, Buffy’s fingers found his hair and began kneading his scalp until he purred – making what he was doing with his tongue all the more enjoyable.

When _that_ pleasure crested, he rose again and slipped his straining hard-on into her in one go making her grunt again, even louder than before.

“Fuck, so good,” he commended, then told her, “Look at me.”

Forcing her eyes to focus on his, they pounded into each other with an intensity most other humans couldn’t handle, until finally they came in unison and the alley echoed out their satisfied yell before finally falling silent.

Resting his head against Buffy’s neck, Spike heard her say, “Three orgasms in thirteen minutes. That’s gotta be a record.”

“Not all about speed,” he replied, “But I did have to leave you time to eat.”

“What about you?” she asked, “Got time to grab something before Giles expects you back?”

“Baby,” he said, in a husky tone, “I’ve eaten all you’ve got to give.”

Playfully swatting his arm she said, “Eww, gross, Spike.”

“You complaining?” he teased.

“Really not,” she laughed, then frowned. “I gotta go.”

“Okay. Don’t work too hard.”

“Work hard enough,” she advised him in return. “And don’t wind up my Watcher.”

With a chuckle, he agreed and sent her walking back around the corner with a final smack of her ass.

 

Back at the kitchen table that evening, Buffy presented Spike with an office memo.

 

_Staff,_

_There have been a number of reports detailing distressed animal calls coming from the alleyway to the rear of our building. Rest assured we have called in the appropriate handlers to search the area and remove the afflicted creature. Should you ever come across a distressed wild animal at any time on our premises we advise that you do not approach but immediately alert an appropriate member of staff._

_Regards,_

_H.R._

 

With great pride, the ex-vampire stood up and pinned the page to the fridge.

“Good day, then.”

Buffy rolled her eyes but was smiling too. “We can’t do that again.”

“Not to worry, tomorrow I’ll bring the car. Go a little further away.”

She knew she should argue, but her own rampant desire for her husband caused her not to.

And, so, the car was where they spent lunchtimes for the rest of their working week.

 

By Friday, they’d worked out all the best positions for the cramped space and Spike was downright triumphant.

Deeply pleased herself, the Slayer climbed the stairs back to her floor and tried to compose her expression into something more professional.

When she got there, however, she found that was not much of concern, as she suddenly passed out.


	26. Decisions

When the emergency call came through to Spike’s cell with news that Buffy had fainted, he was able to hurry back to her building in seconds – having not got far in the opposite direction. Even by then, though, she’d already began to come round.

He was concerned, of course, but she shrugged it off as nothing.

“You’re overdoing it,” Spike concluded, much to their joint displeasure. Then the Slayer’s manager walked over and suggested she take the rest of the day off.

 

The drive home was silent as Spike’s mind thought about how quickly things had changed. Still heavily aware of the scent from their recent union all over the interior of the vehicle, he no longer reveled in it.

“You need to take it easy,” he decided, suddenly. “I’ll stop coming to see you midday.”

“No!” Buffy protested. “I mean, yes to the taking it easy, but no to you not coming.” Her poor choice of words didn’t even cause a smirk. Things really had changed.

“Look,” he reasoned, “Clearly the intensity of what we’re doing is wearing you out.”

“So, what are you saying? That we should stop having sex until I give birth?!” Buffy questioned, her voice high. That couldn’t possibly be what he meant, could it?

Spike was silent.

“Oh my God! That better not be what you’re saying!”

Again, he said nothing. And then he hit him in the arm and demanded his attention, “Spike, answer me, please!”

Finally throwing a glance her way as he pulled into the car lot behind their building, he pleaded, “Buffy, if it’s too much.”

“No,” she said again, shaking her head, “There’s no problem with us. I’m fine. You said there was nothing we couldn’t do. Page 36, remember?”

He contemplated that for a moment, then said, “The book talks about normal couples, yeah? It says sex during pregnancy is fine – for them. I just assumed, with us being extra strong or whatever, we could do more, but… but I guess I was wrong. Your body knows your limits, Slayer, and yours is saying loud and clear that we’re overdoing it.”

Buffy was then silent for a while, contemplating _his_ words as he got out and made his way to her side, opened the door and lifted her out in his arms.

“I’m not some damsel in distress,” she snapped, pouting even as she relaxed against him and rested her head on his bicep.

“Don’t I bloody know it,” he replied, “Bet that arm’ll be bruised later where you hit it.”

Buffy smiled a little despite herself, then she sighed and rubbed her belly saying, “I still think you’re wrong. But I don’t wanna risk hurting her.”

Spike nodded but looked anything but pleased. “So, no sex,” he affirmed.

“ _Less_ sex,” Buffy corrected. “We’ll be gentle.”

He was tempted to argue but decided to leave it for a bit, not liking the thought of restricting their intimacy any more than she did.

 

Once back in their apartment, Spike ran Buffy a bubble bath. She was relaxing into it when a thought struck her and she sat up. “Won’t Giles be wondering where you are?”

Spike shook his head and shrugged off his duster before rolling up his sleeves to wash her back.

“He’ll put up with more than most, because it’s us, but not going back without explaining? He’s not gonna be happy,” she continued, frowning. “I _so_ don’t want any more tension there, and we need the money.”

“I know, I know,” Spike placated. “I’ll call him when you’re tucked up, okay? It’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” she sighed, sinking down once more before sitting right back up again with another idea.

“Bloody hell, woman. You’re supposed to be relaxing!” Spike chided.

“Sorry. It’s just… Call Dawn, too, okay?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

One final time, Buffy laid back against his hands, which had given up on washing her back and had begun to massage it instead. “I’ve been meaning to do the big sister catch up thing in forever, and I’m off now, so… Plus, it won’t take much energy. Invite her over and, after I nap, we’ll have the talk.”

“Which talk is that, luv? The ‘Why have you suddenly got another pair of bite marks?’ one? Or the, ‘How come Mr. Watcher man was grumpy for two days every time I mentioned your name?’ Oh, or, ‘What exactly _did_ happen that time my dear brother-in-law freaked out and almost bit my head off?’. That one, huh, pet?”

Buffy glared at him – or, she tried to, but his hands found a sensitive spot just below her shoulder and she ended up groaning as he kneaded it instead.

“Like I said,” she finally replied, “Catch up long overdue. But I was thinking the main topic should be about her plans to immigrate.”

“Right,” said Spike.

“You really think I’ve been neglecting her?”

He shook his head. “Not neglect, no. She’s practically an adult, for pity’s sake. But she’ll have questions.”

“Yeah,” Buffy grimaced. “My sister, always with the tough questions.”

 

Later, as expected, the two Summers girls finally _did_ talk.

They decided to move back to the states.


	27. Testosterone Poisoning

A knock at the door took Spike away from his meal at the kitchen table. Standing on the welcome mat he’d come to hate, he found a middle-aged man with an expectant look on his face.

“Who the bloody hell are you?”

Before the man could answer, the Slayer pushed past her husband. “Dad?”

“Buffy!” Hank exclaimed, smiling before turning back to Spike to add, “You can go now.”

“I don’t think so, mate.”

Hank’s brow furrowed as he addressed his daughter once more. “Sweetie, who is this man?”

“’M her bloke,” Spike informed him, “And you’re not welcome here. Despite what the damn mat says.”

Buffy shook her head and waved Hank in with an apologetic, “Don’t mind him.”

 

When they’d all sat down in the living room, Spike was first to start off again.

“What do you want?” he asked, causing Buffy to squeeze his knee and give him a glare. “Ah- I, uh… I mean, to what do we owe the pleasure?”

“Dawn invited me, of course.”

“Of course,” Spike and Buffy said in unison, sharing a look.

“Bloody hell, I’ll kill ‘er,” Spike added.

At that, Hank stood to his feet and demanded an explanation. “Buffy, you can’t honestly tell me you’re with this rude, aggressive, ruffian of a man!”

The Slayer sighed before confirming, “I’m with him. We love each other, and we’re married, actually. The aggressiveness’ just a front.”

“Oi!” Spike protested.

“Well, it is,” she said, before standing up and tugging him to his feet, too.

“Spike, this is my dad,” she told him, before turning back to Hank, “Dad, this is Spike. Err, William, if you prefer. Why don’t you shake hands?”

Her dad shook his head instead. “What a name. I thought you’d grow out of the whole bad boy thing.”

Spike choked back a laugh at that, and Buffy looked offended.

“You too are going to be polite to each other, and to me,” she stated firmly, “I’m going to call Dawn.”

 

“Dawn!” Buffy yelled, when the girl finally picked up.

“He’s there, then?” she asked, hesitantly.

“He is,” Buffy confirmed, “Bit of notice would have been nice.”

“Uh, yeah, well-”

“Get your butt over here now!”

 

Buffy hauled her sister into the kitchen when she arrived. “Explain,” she demanded, “And quickly, because I don’t like leaving those two alone together.”

Dawn looked at her feet, “I wanted to see him, before were so far away again. Technically, I’ve never even met him before.”

Buffy relaxed her posture a bit as she admitted, “I get that, okay. But, Dawn? Really, you should have told me.”

“I know,” Dawn admitted, hanging her head further. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. But, hey, if Spike kills him it’s your fault.”

That caused Dawn to smile a little, despite herself. “They really don’t like each other?”

“A world of no.”

 

The girls returned to the living room right in time to hear Spike say, “Buffy doesn’t need this stress right now.”

“Why?” asked Hank, standing up and walking over to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Because she’s pregnant, you berk.”

The Slayer cringed, but her dad’s chest puffed out with pride. “I’m going to have a grandchild?” he exclaimed, grinning, before shrinking down again with the realization of, “I’m going to be a grandfather.”

Spike snorted and Hank glared at him. “Got something to say, _William_?”

Buffy was sending her husband warning signals and silently telling him not to rise to it, but he ignored her.

“Yeah, I got something to say. You’ve barely been a _father_ all these years, and you think you’re going to be part of my daughter’s life? I don’t bloody think so.”

“I’m _family_!” Hank snapped at him, “Blood family. You’re only here by marriage, and those don’t last forever.”

Spike almost went into orbit at that. “You don’t know a soddin’ thing about blood and family!” he spat. “Bet Joyce was right an’ glad marriages don’t last forever.”

“Can we stop this?” Buffy interjected, but Spike ignored her again.

“What do you know about my wife?” Hank asked him.

“What do _you_?! I was around when she died, taking care of _my_ family. Where the hell were you?”

“I… what?!” he stammered, “What are you talking about? Joyce isn’t dead, you idiot.”

“Oh my god!” Dawn gasped, jolting Spike’s attention back to her and Buffy.

His Slayer had tears running down her face, and the sight of them instantly made the rage fall from him. Going to her and wrapping her up in his arms, he began whispering apologies.

Dawn’s mouth was agape as she turned to her father. “You didn’t know about mom?”

Hank looked equally shocked. “It’s true?” he questioned.

She shook her head, not able to look at him anymore. “Do you even care?” she asked, before walking away to stand behind Spike and Buffy, crossing her arms. “I think you should go.”

Buffy composed herself, then pulled Dawn off to the side again.

“Are you sure you wanna kick him out?” she asked, but Dawn just whimpered in response. “Not the family reunion you expected, huh?”

Dawn shook her head and they hugged before Buffy took her hand and led her back to the boys. “We’ll just give it one more chance,” the Slayer whispered to her sister.

Both Hank and Spike looked downcast, the latter promising good behavior to his mate with just a look. She nodded slightly in response then gestured for everyone to sit.

“Mom died a few years ago,” Buffy began to explain, as she felt her heart clench.

Spike put his arms around her, and she carried on. “We left messages with your secretary. Tried every number we had for you.”

Hank raised his hands, palms up, and shook his head. “I had no clue.”

Dawn spoke up then saying, softly, “Maybe if you’d have stayed in touch. Called us every so often to see how we were?”

“I’m sorry, girls. I am,” Hank told her, but – notably – made no vow to be any better in future.

“How did you find your old man, Niblet?” Spike asked.

“Online. He had ah, umm… profile.”

The ex-vampire’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t pry any further. The girl didn’t want to admit she’d searched Google and stumbled upon her father on a dating site, and that she’d then had to sign up to the site at thirty dollars a month just to message him.

“We’re moving back to California. Did Dawn tell you?” Buffy asked.

“No,” said Hank – not looking particularly upset by the news.

“Right,” Spike interjected again, as he stood once more and held out his hand, “Well, nice to meet you.”

Hank looked at Buffy, then hesitantly shook the offered hand when she gave him a nod. “I, uh… nice to meet you, too, uh, William.”

When they all went to the door to see him out, Dawn whispered to her sister, “I hope Spike’s not that awkward when he meets _my_ boyfriend,”

Both Spike and Hank turned around at that, exclaiming, in unison, “You have a boyfriend?!”

Buffy rolled her eyes and pressed her hand to her forehead saying, “Here we go.”

 

Some time after her father left and Spike finished his interrogation about her love life, Dawn helped Buffy clean up the kitchen while the ex-vampire had a shower.

Turning to her sister, she commented, “Spike used the word daughter, before. You’re having a girl?”

Buffy shook her head, then nodded, _then_ clarified, “We don’t know for sure. It’s more of an instinct thing.”

“Oh. Got any names picked out?”

The Slayer smiled. “I still like the name Joan, but he doesn’t. And there was another one we were toying with, but I wanted to ask you your opinion, first.”

“You want to call her after mom,” said Dawn. It wasn’t a question but Buffy answered it anyway.

“Yeah. Would you… is that okay?”

The younger girl smiled. “Yeah, Buffy. She’d have liked that.”


	28. Down Time

Spike woke up to Buffy fondling him. Initially enjoying the sensation, he then sat up when he got his brain in gear.

“Ah ah!” he said, shaking his head and pushing her hands away, “What are you doing?”

The Slayer tried for a coy smirk as she reached for him again, “You know what.”

“Buffy,” he began, holding her arms tightly at her side.

She pouted, exclaiming, “You don’t want me anymore. It’s because I’m big, and pregnant, and horrible!”

Spike rolled his eyes. “You’re bloody gorgeous and you know it, Slayer.”

Buffy didn’t smile at the compliment – she was too busy trying to hold back tears. “Then why don’t you want me?” she asked, her voice breaking.

Loosening his grip with one hand so he could bring his other up to stroke her face, he echoed her earlier words. “You know why.”

Suddenly, an anger came over her, and she pushed away _his_ hands.

“Well you’re wrong!” she yelled, “I’m fine. The only thing wrong with me is that my husband - ” her voice cracked again, and her tone lowered almost immediately - “My _mate_ , won’t be with me.”

“Oh, Kitten,” Spike soothed, feeling torn up. “I’m just trying to stop you from exhausting yourself. I love you. And being apart? It’s killing me, too.”

Buffy shook her head but didn’t protest further.

Spike got up completely, then, grabbing his pants and deciding in that moment to not sleep naked anymore.

“I gotta get ready for work,” he said, laying a kiss to Buffy’s forehead on his way to the bathroom. A fat tear rolled down her cheek when he closed the door.

 

Over breakfast, the couple ignored the tension hanging over them. Buffy tried breaking it by asking how Giles was, but all she got was a grunt in response.

“What is it he’s getting you to do anyway?”

“Research.”

“Research?”

“Yeah.”

“Could you be any vaguer?”

“Yes.”

“Spike!”

“Bloody hell! He’s made me his guinea pig, okay?”

The Slayer frowned. “What for?” she continued to press, after a moment.

Spike rolled his eyes but finally gave in to her questions. “He’s running some tests to find out more about where I stand on the whole demon-human axis.”

Buffy’s frown deepened, but he reassured her it was okay. Reaching out his hand across the table to clasp hers, he said, “Really, pet. Nothing to worry about.”

“Okay,” she agreed, finally.

Changing the topic, Spike asked if she was taking the day off work, but that only served to bring back the frosty atmosphere with a vengeance.

“I’m _fine_!” she insisted, throwing up her hands. “I’m not going to break, and I’m not going to sit around all day losing money just because I’ve got dizzy a couple of times. I’m the Slayer, Spike, not some fragile little girl.”

In as even tone as he could muster, he replied, “You’re carrying a fragile little girl, though, aren’t you? You -”

Clapping a hand over her mouth and staring at him, Buffy stopped him mid-sentence. “ _You_!” she responded, shakily. “You think my stubbornness could hurt her?”

“I - no. Not intentionally. I mean -” he cut his sentence off mid-way through again when he saw tears beginning to collect behind her eyes once more. “Buffy, I love you. And I know you love our tyke, and would never, _ever_ , do anything to hurt ‘er. But I worry, is all. You maybe can handle doing things the way they have been. Point of fact, I _know_ you can, but that doesn’t mean the intensity of us isn’t too much for her. I’m just…” he broke down a little himself, then, before continuing. “I’m just terrified that I could lose something so good, jus’ outta being selfish. How could you ever look at me if that happened?”

They were both crying by that point. The Slayer whimpered his name and he stood up and swept her up into his arms, cradling her head against his chest. “Love you so much,” he affirmed.

“I know,” she replied, sniffling. “I love you so much, too. I… I’m going to be good.” She gulped, then carried on, “We’re not gonna be together. But, Spike-”

“I know, kitten, I know. It’s gonna be hard. Wanna be with you in every way for every bloody moment of the rest of this soddin’ existence I have but-”

“It’s not worth the risk,” she finished for him.

“Yeah,” he said, sighing, before kissing her deeply. When they finally broke apart and he put her down, Buffy still had her arms around his neck.

They laid their foreheads against each other and she said. “I think I am gonna take a day off after all. Feel in need of major mope-age. I’m thinking TV, ice cream, and cuddles from Harriet.”

Spike raised his eyebrow at her, which was difficult seeing as it was pressed against her skin. “Harriet?”

“What I called the stuffed animal you gave me.”

“Oh,” he chuckled. “Sounds like an excellent plan. Want me to make the call?”

She shook her head. “Nope. Buffy is strong enough to pick up the phone.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“I know,” she said, “Just teasing. Ugh! Sorry for being such a mess, earlier. I just-”

“I know,” he said, kissing her again.

 

\---

 

Getting home to his Slayer after spending the day being poked, prodded, and asked every question under the sun by her Watcher, Spike smiled when he saw her stretched out on the couch, asleep.

“Bloody adorable,” he muttered to himself, and she shifted slightly before slowly opening her eyes.

“Hey.”

“Hey, pet. How’s Harriet?”

Buffy smiled. “She’s good at the cuddles, but I still think I’d rather have you.”

“Soppy bint,” he teased.

“You love it,” she replied.

He laid a kiss on her forehead in agreement, then went to make dinner for the both of them.

When it was done, he brought it back into the living room but didn’t hand it over when she reached for it.

“Hey! What’s the big idea?” she exclaimed, adding drama to her voice for effect.

Spike chuckled before resting the plate on the coffee table and picking Buffy up instead.

She wriggled and laughed in his arms. “What are you doing?”

“I’ve heard,” he began, “That beds can be used for things other than shaggin’ you silly.”

She offered him a confused look, and he continued, “Thought it might be nice to use it for one of those other purposes.”

“Okay?” she said, as he put her down and wrapped the comforter around her again before lighting some candles.

“Yeah,” he said, “Romantic night for two, right here. No shaggin’ necessary.”

“Okay,” she said again, this time with a grin, still not fully understanding what his plan was.

He retrieved the plate from where he left in the other room, placed it on her lap, on top of the covers, then took off his shirt and boots to climb in beside her.

“Gonna share this,” he said, by means of explanation, as he scooped the first bite onto a fork and lifted it to her mouth. She ate it without question – closing her eyes to enjoy the flavor.

“And then?”

“And then I thought I’d give you a massage, and I could pull the box in here.”

Buffy’s eyes opened again – wider than before. “There’s a box?” she questioned.

“The telly, luv.”

“Oh,” she smiled, then took a second offered bite. “That actually sounds pretty perfect.” She couldn't help but add, “You big dope!”

Spike was tempted to growl and remind her he was still the big bad where it counted, but then he realized that would only set them both back to thinking about the things they were trying not to do. So, instead, he let the comment slide.

“I’m bloody lucky to have you,” he said, instead. “Gonna be whatever you need as long as that means keeping you, and keeping you happy. God! Just to hold you is more than I deserve. More than I ever thought I’d get.”

“Me too,” she replied in a whisper. “I love you, Spike. Thank you for this.”

“Shut up and eat,” he told her, lightheartedly, before brushing a kiss across her cheek. “You’re determined to turn me back into a soddin’ poet.”

Buffy just continued to smile and do as he said.

 

Within a week of that, they had their flights back to the states booked, and packing had begun. Dawn was just waiting to hear which colleges she’d got accepted to, and then they’d be off.


	29. Part Three - A Fresh Start

Oceanside (June 2005)

Almost one year after Spike completed his transition into becoming human again and had promptly reunited with Buffy - before moving to England to be with her - everything was in place for them to return back across the water to the United States where they would start their family. A family the ex-vampire was feeling anxious about.

“Will you stop worrying?” the Slayer reprimanded him. “The doctor said I was fine to travel.”

He pouted the pout of a petulant child. “Don’t trust these modern flying contraptions, an’ doctors say a lot of things. Quacks, the lot of ‘em, if you ask me.”

“Well, no one _did_ ask you,” interjected Dawn, cheerily.

Buffy rolled her eyes and relayed the logic of the situation to her husband once more – her patience only holding out because she understood his apprehension, and felt it herself.

“We decided this move was for the best,” she said. “And we’re not exactly going to move by boat, or interdimensional portal, or by any other means. So we gotta do this, and you need to stop wigging me out, okay?”

Spike drew in a deep breath and agreed before changing the subject to take his mind off the whole situation. “So what’s gonna happen with you and yer boy, Niblet?”

Dawn frowned, telling him, “We’re doing the long distance thing.”

Spike raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Brave,” was all he said.

“Uh huh,” she affirmed. “Oh, look, we’re boarding. Gate nine!”

The blonde couple looked up at the flashing screen in front of them in unison, then looked at each other.

“This is it,” said Buffy, as Spike helped her to her swollen feet.

“That it is,” he agreed, taking another deep breath and moving off in the direction of the other passengers, her hand pressed tightly in his own.

 

The journey was long but uneventful. Buffy slept through most of it, curled tightly into Spike’s side as he gazed out the window. He had a hand on her belly and was listening to the heartbeat of the baby as he watched the sun set through the clouds.

“Bloody weird life I’m having,” he commented to Dawn, who was on Buffy’s other side.

She grinned. “Yeah. But this is the good part. How long ‘till we land?”

“About four hours, I’d say.”

“Xander picking us up from the airport?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool. Don’t tell him, but I’ve kind of missed him.”

Spike laughed and Buffy shifted ever so slightly in response. “Yeah, Niblet,” he said more quietly. “I’ve missed the wanker too.”

 

\---

 

Pulling up outside the Summers’ new house, Xander gave a wide sweep of his arm and said, “Welcome to Oceanside, California.”

Dawn’s eyes bugged out a little, then she slapped the carpenter’s arm.

“Hey!” he exclaimed, rubbing it. “What’s that for?”

“Messing with us. It’s been a long flight. Where are we _really_ staying?”

Xander shook his head.

“Think this is really it, Niblet,” said Spike.

The girl was speechless, then. Looking away from her, the ex-vampire took in the sight of his equally stunned Mate.

“It’s beautiful!” she said, “ _Really_ beautiful.” Then she slapped Xander’s arm herself.

“Will you two stop doing that?! I’m gonna bruise!”

“What’s wrong with it?” Buffy demanded, ignoring his comment.

“Nothing,” he assured her, before adding, “Well… technically.”

“Xander!”

“Ugh!” Dawn interjected again, opening the car door. “Whatever it is can be discussed inside, I need to pee.”

Spike chuckled, Buffy rolled her eyes, and Xander – feeling uncomfortable – handed Dawn the house keys while going to get luggage from the trunk.

 

The house was just as big and nicely decorated on the inside as the outside had suggested and, when everyone was all gathered in the family room, the girls turned once more on the carpenter.

“What’s the catch?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah, spill,” said Dawn, as Spike sat down and made himself at home, concluding, “Whatever it is can’t be that bad.”

“It’s not,” Xander promised. “The house itself is fine – checked every beam and wall myself. It’s just… Well, it’s just…”

“Oh, spit it out, man,” Spike snapped.

“Okay, okay!” said Xander, holding up his hands in defeat, “No one else hit me. It’s the town. Or, the residents.”

Looking at her sister, the Slayer asked, “Has he always been this annoying?”

“Yes,” answered Spike, and Buffy rolled her eyes again before returning her glare to her friend.

“Explain. In full sentences. Now, please. No hesitations. I’m getting tired.”

“And cranky,” Dawn added.

“And right violent,” said Spike, grinning.

Xander gulped, readying to drop the bombshell, as Spike stood up again and lead his Mate to the chair he’d just vacated.

“There’s no easy way to say this.”

“We gathered,” said Dawn, tapping her foot.

Unable to stall anymore, Xander finally took the plunge. “Y’know how everyone that wasn’t us left Sunnydale before it went boom?” he began.

There was silence. Of course they remembered. He moved on.

“Well, the demon’s jumped ship, too. And they all had to go somewhere…”

“So a ton of them relocated a couple of towns up the coast?” Spike finished for him.

“Pretty much. Town isn’t a hellmouth, but it really does have a crazy amount of vampires for a place that’s known for its sunshine.”

“Y’know,” said Buffy, “When Spike can sum something up in less words than you can? You kind of have issues.”

“Hey!” Spike protested, lamely, before resigning himself. “Fair point.”

Buffy smiled and Xander relaxed a little. “You’re not mad?”

“For letting us do something as massive as put a down payment on a house we’ve never seen, purely based on your advice, when you’ve neglected to tell us a vital piece of information?”

He nodded, biting his lip.

Buffy waved her hand. “Meh. It’s a very you thing to do.”

The comment hurt him, a little, but there wasn’t much he could say in his defense. Instead, Xander tried to lift the mood by saying, “Plus side: ugly deaths equals cheap housing. Oh, and a couple of other slayers live just down the street. Near Willow, actually.”

“Ones we know?” asked Spike, who had taken off Buffy’s shoes and was giving her a foot rub.

Xander nodded. “Rona and Vi.”

Buffy had closed her eyes and let out a small moan as the tension eased off her swollen ankles. Dawn made a face at the noise, which made Spike smile.

“Right,” he said, “My misses needs to get to bed. Anything important we should know before tomorrow?”

“Nada,” affirmed the carpenter, handing him a piece of paper. “My cell number, if you need anything.”

“Ta, Harris.”

 

The next day, Willow and her new girlfriend took Dawn off to see her new college campus, leaving Spike and Buffy to settle in. Dawn was going to stay in dorms during term time and have a room with them during the holidays.

“This feels right,” the Slayer announced, looking out the window at her view of the beach.

“The move?” Spike asked, as he stepped in to stand behind her, enveloping her in his arms.

“Us. The move. This house. I think we were meant to be here all along.”

He smiled against her neck. “Demon population not putting you off?”

“Nah,” she gave a dismissive wave of her hand, “Not really. You can handle them until I’m fighting fit again. Think you need to burn off the energy, anyway.”

“Right about that,” he agreed, unable to stop himself from grinding his erection against her backside. “God, do I need to kill things.”


	30. Wedding Cake

Buffy didn’t know how her sister had talked her into it, but her day was about to become one of those crazy celebrations that only Dawn Summers knew how to throw. Somehow the Slayer instinctively knew they’d been cleaning the mess up for weeks, and that was before she came downstairs to see a massive banner stretched across the family room declaring ‘Happy House Warming!’ with a sign tacked on the bottom adding, ‘And happy baby shower/one year anniversary of being together and both being alive/human. And belated celebration of the marriage you never invited anyone to!!!’

“That girl has a future in event planning,” joked Spike, who had come down the stairs after his mate.

“For _very_ specific events,” Buffy agreed. “Where is she, anyway?”

“Gone to get party hats, I think.”

The Slayer groaned. “I am _so_ not wearing a hat.”

“Hey, if I’m forced to wear one I’m gonna make sure you are, too.”

There was a second groan, then Buffy asked if they could run away and escape the festivities entirely.

“If you want a stroppy sister on yer hands ‘til Christmas, yeah,” Spike answered her, “But at least you can feign exhaustion and slip upstairs after a bit. Don’ think the rest of us are getting out of anything that easily.”

“At this point, the exhaustion won’t need to be feigned.”

Spike suddenly lost his mirth. “Still ain’t got over the jet lag?”

“Still haven’t got over you putting a baby in me!” said Buffy.

“Oh, I…” he began, “I’m not sorry about doing that.”

Buffy’s face finally broke out into a smile, and she pulled him towards her. “Don’t _want_ you to be sorry about it, dummy.”

“Good job, pet,” he said, brushing a kiss across her temple, “’Cause I don’t think that’ll ever happen.”

“I like the having your baby part of the picture,” Buffy said, “Just sometimes carrying it around is a lot of work.”

“Well, if I could carry it for you… Nope. I wouldn’t do that; would look totally ridiculous.”

That gave her a laugh. “Thank you for the mental picture.”

“What mental picture?” asked Dawn, who bounced through the front door mid-conversation with Xander at her heels.

“Spike being with child,” Buffy answered, still finding it hilarious.

Xander almost fell over himself – and the fourteen bags of party stuff Dawn had got him to carry.

“That was a private joke,” Spike reprimanded her, halfheartedly.

“Yeah, not sorry,” she teased, biting her lip.

“Can make you sorry,” Spike drawled, pulling her into a heated kiss.

“Nope. No!” Dawn squeezed between them, splitting apart the embrace, and handing the ex-vampire a bag of balloons, “We don’t have time. You gotta blow those up.”

Buffy groaned at the interruption, then admitted it was probably for the best – a comment that neither Dawn or Xander understood. Taking the focus off it, Spike told Dawn she was lucky he was able to breathe in order to fulfill her task.

“Uh huh, whatever,” she said. “One hour until guests!”

 

Much to Spike’s pleasant surprise, the first guest to arrive at his home that evening was Clem.

“Great to see you, old pal!” said the demon, reaching for his hand, then changing his mind and swiping it away in favor of giving him a hug instead – almost crushing the box he’d been carrying in between them in the process. The box that was now making a noise and shaking as it was passed over with the announcement of, “Hey, I got you a gift.”

Holding the box at arm’s length – knowing exactly what was inside, and what it was intended for – Spike showed the loose-skinned demon into the family room where he was greeted by the Slayer.

Then, throwing a sideways glance at his wife, Spike silently infused her with information in a way he still did not fully understand. He caught her brief cringe before she called out to her sister saying, “Clem brought you a present!”

“Dawn eats kittens now?” Clem questioned, then added a thumbs up of approval.

“No,” Buffy corrected him, “Kittens are pets in this household, not snacks.”

“What about kittens?” Dawn asked as she approached, picking up the box to inspect it and screeching at the contents. “Oh my god, Clem! I love you!”

Spike sighed and Buffy muttered, “We’re _so_ gonna regret that.”

 

Later, in the other room, while munching his way through several bags of popcorn, Clem asked Spike if he was looking for work.

“I could hook you up with a place at my auto yard,” he said.

“You have an auto yard?”

“Sure do. Clients are mostly demon, but it’s good pay.”

Spike nodded, considering it, before saying, “I’ll talk it over with Buffy.”

And at that the demon gave him an odd look, which made Spike suddenly defensive.

“What?”

“Nothing. I’m just… You’re a real couple now. That’s nice. It’s good.”

Spike gifted his old friend with a smile, knowing exactly what he was getting at and not being sure how else to respond. “Well,” he said, finally, “Good to see you. Gotta mingle now, I guess.” At the word _mingle_ he pulled a face, but didn’t comment on how uncomfortable he felt, not only having so many people in his home when all he wanted to do was be alone with his Mate, but to also have to obey the ridiculous laws of etiquette like he was sixteen again, and pretend he _liked_ everyone in his space.

“Sure, man,” said Clem, who also rising to his feet, “Let me know about that job.”

Spike gave him a nod, then turned in the direction of beer. There really were a _lot_ of people by that point. People he hadn’t noticed enter, people he hadn’t seen in years, people he didn’t know had survived the battle at the hellmouth, and people he just simply didn’t know. ‘Gatecrashers, probably,’ he thought, as he saw Willow make her way towards him, holding the hand of one such person he hadn’t met.

“This must be the new bird,” he greeted, and the bird in question blushed before looking at the floor.

He’d put his foot in it already, based on the glare Red was giving him, and yet he thought no better course of action but to carry on.

“Nice to see you picked another shy one,” he said to Willow, “You weren’t paired well with the loudmouth.”

“Shut up,” the Witch told him, with some force, “This is Sharon. She’s English.”

“Wonderful,” he commented. “Good to see so many of the white hats shacking up with us lot from the home country.”

It was the last comment he made before Dawn sent him to his room. And _that_ , he did not complain about, for Buffy was already there – fast asleep.

Undressing, he slipped in behind her and held her close.


	31. Tension and Daddy Drama

Cleaning up after the party, arranging furniture, moving boxes, and setting up the nursery was the order of the day.

It was not going well.

“No. _No!_ ” Buffy snapped, “Those boxes need to go in the _other_ room!”

“Alright, Buff,” said Xander, his hands up, “No need to go all Hulk on us.”

“Sorry,” she said, pulling at her hair. “It’s just, I wanna be doing this myself. I want everything to be perfect, and- Dawn! What are you doing? You can’t bring your cat in here!”

Spike walked in, then, asking, “What’s all the yelling about?”

Xander shrugged and answered, “Your wife’s all tense.”

“ _Intense_ , more like,” Dawn muttered.

“I’m fine!” the Slayer snapped again.

“Right,” said Spike, taking hold of her hand. “Excuse me, folks, need a little word with m’ lady.”

“What? No!” she tried to pull away, but he was insistent. “They’re gonna do it wrong if I’m not there to watch!”

Finally getting her into the other room and shutting the door, Spike replied, “They’re gonna walk out if you keep on like you are.”

“So what?!” she huffed, finally wrenching her arm from his. “There’s nothing else I can do but call out orders from the sidelines.”

“One,” said Spike forcefully, as he gently pushed her back against the wall, “For two minutes _I’ll_ be giving the orders.”

Buffy opened her mouth to protest again, but Spike carried on before she could get a word out. “Two,” he said, as he pulled her dress up. “When you _do_ go back in there it’ll be _suggestions_ rather than orders, okay, pet?”

“Okay,” she murmured – all fight going out of her as he rubbed his fingers against her clit. “I… Uhh, that’s nice! I thought you were all for the no sex thing?”

“Not real sex,” he defended, shrugging. He increased the speed of his caress and added, “Should relieve the tension.”

Buffy moaned, confirming his theory. “Still want you, though,” she panted.

“I know, luv,” he said, evening out the rhythm to make her blood pump a little harder. “Want you too. Hush now. No talking. Gotta listen to me, remember?”

“Uh huh,” she nodded. “You giving orders. Check.”

“Good girl,” he thrust a single finger inside her, and her inner walls clenched around it in response. “Close your eyes.”

“But-”

“Bloody hell, Buffy. Close your damn eyes.”

She complied.

“Good,” he said again, “Get lost in the sensation. Forget about everything.”

“Uhhh,” she moaned. “More.”

“More what?”

“More now!”

Spike slowed down. “No, Buffy. More what?”

In total frustration, she gave in. “Ugh!! More _please_!”

“That’s better,” he sped up again, inserting another finger. “Tell me how you like it.”

“Hard,” she replied, barely able to catch her breath. “Harder. Please, Spike.”

“Okay, luv. I can do harder.” Her orgasm continued to build as he worked away. After a few more minutes he spoke again.

“Cum for me, Slayer,” he commanded, and she did.

 

When they walked back into the nursery, Dawn had her head down and Xander was looking at the ceiling.

“All relaxed now?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Buffy said, blushing.

“Hey, thanks man,” Xander said to Spike, earning him an odd look from the ex-vampire and a dig in the ribs from Dawn.

“So…” said Buffy, quickly changing the topic. “Who’s ready for snacks?”

 

\---

 

During their break from putting the crib together, the gang – minus Willow, who was at her job, lecturing at the local community college – were sat eating sandwiches and discussing old times. Spike was still on his lunch break from the job Clem had given him.

“How’s the long distance relationship going? Buffy asked her sister.

To which Dawn pulled a face and said, “It’s not.”

“Already?!” Spike exclaimed, chuckling before he was promptly hit in the face with a cushion by his wife. “Hey!”

“Stop being mean.”

“’m not!” he protested, “I jus’ don’t know what else you expected, Niblet.”

“I know, I know. Janice has already given me the whole, _‘Why did you even bother?’_ talk.”

“Janice is in Oceanside?” Xander asked.

“Isn’t _everyone_ from Sunnydale in Oceanside?” Dawn replied before trying to change the subject. The effort wasn’t necessary, however, as Xander happened to glance out a window then unexpectedly ran outside, effectively distracting everyone.

Sensing danger, the Slayer tried to jump to her feet and pull a battle pose, but failed miserably on both counts. Her mate, meanwhile, had made it to the window just in time to see the carpenter having a heated conversation with a girl wheeling a stroller.

“Oh, bloody hell,” he told Buffy. “I’ll be right back.”

 

“You don’t understand!” Harris exclaimed when Spike reached him on the front lawn and tried to calm him down, “This is Caitlin. That girl I told you about.”

“Was able to figure that,” said Spike, awkwardly offering the girl a handshake, “Uh, hi. ’m sorry about him. Think he’s in shock.”

“She’s got a baby!” said Xander, voice still raised.

“Yeah, mate. And you’re about to wake it up. Why don’t you take it down a notch or six, you’re scarin’ the poor bint.”

“Look,” said bint interrupted, “I want nothing to do with you. Just leave me alone.”

“But, Caitlin,” Xander protested, trying to take hold of her arm to make her face him again.

“Just back off a bit,” Spike suggested, which earned him a punch in the jaw.

Using the distraction of the scuffle, Caitlin disappeared on down the street.

“Know what, Harris? You’re a class A berk,” Spike told him.

“She had a baby!” Xander shot back. “ _My_ baby. Oh god!”

Spike rolled his eyes. There was clearly no point trying to get sense into the boy while he was freaking out, so instead he pulled him back into the house, where the girls were ready to interrogate them both about what was happening.

“Idiot here ‘ill explain it,” said Spike, dropping a kiss on Buffy’s forehead, “I’ve got a job to get back to.”

 

“So,” Buffy began, twenty minutes later, “You’re saying you have a kid?”

“Uh huh,” Xander nodded. “I can’t believe it.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell you,” said Dawn, but the carpenter shook his head.

“I can. The way I treated her. God, I don’t blame her for never wanting to see me again. I just… Wow. You know?”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “Wow.”

“What am I gonna do?”

“I don’t know, but whatever it is, you’re gonna think it through, right?”

“Right. Right, of course. I’m sorry, Buffy. I have to go… clear my head, or something.”

“Xander.” The Slayer put her hand on his arm and looked him in the eye. “Please don’t do anything stupid.”

“Right,” he said again, his eyes not quite focusing on her.


	32. Attack

Buffy had been irritable all week but, best he tried, Spike wasn’t able to figure out why and she was hell bent on denying anything was wrong at all.

Getting out of bed one morning with a sigh and a frown etched deep into her forehead, her mate finally had enough and pulled her right back under the covers, literally pinning her down.

“If somethin’s upsetting you, kitten, I need to know. I’m goin’ outta my mind here.”

She sighed again. “Okay, okay, let me up.”

He did, bracing himself.

“It’s Xander.”

Spike closed his eyes and clenched his jaw before asking, “What’s he done now?”

“Nothing,” said Buffy. When Spike’s eyes opened again and he tilted his head at her, she clarified, “Nothing new, I mean. Not since last week. I’m just so angry with him, y’know? I think about Caitlin and how she must be feeling and I want to hit him in the head for being an idiot.”

“Well, yeah, we’re all with you on that one,” Spike agreed, petting her hair. “That really all that’s goin’ on with you, though?”

“Yeah. I think it must be the mother in me taking it extra hard.”

“Guess so. But, pet, him goin’ round her place, pissed off his head in the middle of the night to have it out with her isn’t any worse than yours truly chainin’ you to a wall until you gave me a crumb.”

“It is,” said Buffy, making Spike blink at her. “I mean it. You were totally dumb, but it was you. I knew you and wasn’t scared. Plus, demon! Your perception was bound to be skewed. Caitlin must have been terrified.”

“Okay,” he said, “Maybe you’re right. Either way, it’s not your thing to stress over.”

Buffy pouted then kissed her husband. “I shoulda got that off my chest days ago, huh?”

“Yeah, pet, you should have.”

“Sorry. For some reason I _really_ don’t understand, you two seem to be getting on better, and I didn’t want him upsetting me to ruin that.”

Spike shook his head and pulled her closer. “You’re a daft bint.”

Buffy grinned and rested her head against his shoulder. “It’s funny how that sounds endearing, coming from you.”

“It’s supposed to be,” said Spike, kissing her one last time before releasing her.

She went to the bathroom and had been in there no more than three minutes when there was a scream; the worst scream Spike had ever heard – and he’d heard more than most…

\---

Buffy had been undressing for a shower when the sensation came over her; a horrible, terrifying sensation of loss. Raw, hot, pain ran through her veins and all she could do was scream.

Spike was beside in moments, holding her hands to stop them from ripping at her bump. The skin over her large belly was bleeding, but not deeply. She wept as she clung to her mate.

Dawn came running in not long after. “What the hell happened?”

Neither of the pair answered her. Neither knew how. Not at first, anyway.

“It’s…” Spike began, when Buffy eventually calmed down a little in his arms. “It’s like something’s _wrong_. Missing, or... I don’t know.”

“You’re feeling her pain?”

“I’m feeling it, I just don’t… Can’t quite – pet, what is it? Do you know?” Buffy was trembling and completely unable to say anything. “Okay,” said Spike, pulling away just enough to take his shirt off and slip it over her head. “It’s okay. I’ll take care of you, pet. I’m here.”

“What do we do?” Dawn asked.

“I don’t know!” Spike snapped. “I don’t know what it is. It feels familiar. I know it, somehow… But not quite. I know –” His eyes went wide all of a sudden, and the younger Summers felt even more worried.

“What?” she breathed.

“It’s her soul,” Spike replied, his voice coming out as a whisper as the truth settled on him. “Buffy’s lost her soul.”


	33. Calling the Cavalry

“Her soul?” Dawn repeated, more than a hint of hysteria entering her voice. “How could she have lost her soul?”

“Someone ripped it from her,” said Spike, certainty in his voice. He could feel it – the anguish Buffy was in.

“But how?!” Dawn yelled.

“I don’t bloody well know, Niblet. Get the Witch. And Rupert. We need them here.”

“But-”

“Now!” he snapped, knowing he’d regret it later but not being able to think clearly enough to find another course of action.

“Luv,” he said to Buffy, gently. “Luv, I’m gonna put you back in bed.”

She gripped at him so hard he was sure he was going to bruise, and it took a lot to do that. “Don’t let me go.”

“’m right here. Not leavin’.”

“Oh, Spike,” she cried, “Spike, it hurts so much.”

“I know, kitten. Come on, let’s lie down.”

 

After a lot more tears and a lot more grabbing, the Slayer finally drifted off into a fitful sleep, and by that point Willow had arrived.

“Have you got anything that’ll calm ‘er while we figure out what bastard did this?” Spike asked the Witch.

“Umm, yeah. There’s a book of–”

“Good. You do that,” Spike cut her off. Even while Buffy was out of it, he was so aware of her suffering and, by extension, how distressed it was making his unborn child.

“Do _you_ need anything?” Willow asked, cautiously. He shook his head, trying to hold back tears. “Okay. I… I’ll sort a spell.”

“Thanks, Red.”

 

It didn’t take Willow long at all. Soon enough she had the Slayer sedated with a spell that wouldn’t hurt her or the baby and Spike was able to slip away to work on some kind of action plan. Giles walked in the door, not long after that.

“How in the bloody hell d’you get here so quick?”

“Willow teleported me.”

“Huh,” Spike grunted as he handed him a book. He’d have been impressed with the Witch’s continued growth in power if he wasn’t so damn preoccupied with fear. After some argument, Giles got him to put down the books for just long enough to tell him everything he knew – which wasn’t much.

“Buffy’s been fine until this point?” Giles questioned.

“Yeah,” said Spike, running a frantic hand through his hair. “Apart from the tiredness, and a little heartburn.”

“She did faint a couple of times,” Dawn added.

“Well, yeah,” Spike countered. “Like I said, tiredness.”

Giles’ frown deepened, which caused Willow to ask if he thought it was more than that. “I’m afraid it might be,” he said, lifting the book again. “There’s only one way to know for sure.”

 

After four hours of relentless research, it was decided that a break was necessary and that Willow would gently lift Buffy out of her slumber so she could bathe and eat. At that point, Giles also suggested she see a doctor.

“What’s a doc gonna do?” Spike questioned.

“I was thinking a mystically inclined practitioner might be able to shed some light on what’s happened. I have a friend–”

“Make the call, if you want,” Spike told him. “Can’t hurt. But we know what it is, init? I’m right about the soul.”

“Yes, I believe you are,” Giles conceded.

“So we should be focusing on finding out who the hell took it, ripping the bloke limb from limb and putting it back in ‘er. Not getting confirmation of what we already soddin’ know.”

Giles didn’t rise to Spike’s outburst, instead stepping outside to call his friend and quell his need of feeling useful if nothing else. The books they had were almost useless, and he hadn’t thought to bring his own collection from London. Willow may have been strong, but there was certainly no way he was going to make her teleport him to England and then back to California a second time – certainly not all in one day. No, he’d have to make use of the resources he had, which was precious little. He grimaced at the thought just as his friend answered the phone.

“Hello, Patrick? I need your help…”

 

\---

 

Patrick was no help at all. He suggested terminating the pregnancy to alleviate some of the stress on the already suffering Slayer and Spike all but blew a fuse and tried to murder him. Literally. It was only Willow that held him back.

“He doesn’t come back in this house!” Spike ordered.

“Agreed,” said Giles. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck off with your sorry. I’m going back to Buffy. If you wanna keep your bits you’ll have answers by mornin’.”

Giles gulped, knowing he was in no way exaggerating.

“He’s psychotic,” said Xander, once he was sure even enhanced vampire hearing couldn’t pick him up.

“You have no idea what he’s going though,” Willow told him, which earned him a quizzical glance from the carpenter.

“And you do?” he asked.

“Well, yeah. I’ve been exploring how to tap into the waves empaths pick up on, but even without that, his emotions are hanging around the place in the baddest atmosphere I’ve ever felt.”

“You’re not wrong,” Xander conceded. “Dawn’s staying at my place ‘cause it’s upsetting her so much. God, what’re we gonna do?”

His question was met by silence, which was only broken by the sound of Buffy whimpering in her sleep.

“I’m calling Angel,” Giles said, finally.


	34. Fallout

“How do we know this hasn’t happened because Buffy’s having a demon baby?” Xander asked Giles, once he thought Spike was asleep. He jumped when the resulting growl from the other room told him otherwise.

“That wouldn’t make any sense,” Willow informed him, with a warning glare.

“Of course,” he agreed, “Shutting up now.”

Opening his bedroom door, Spike found the researchers in almost the same positions he left them the night before. He ran a hand through his hair – not caring what style it ended up in, for once – then asked if there was any progress.

“A human soul is a vital ingredient to a dozen or more spells,” Giles told him. “And the soul of a Slayer specifically would be considered, by many involved in dark magics, as something highly collectible. I haven’t come across any relevant prophecies that relate to the situation, so far, but I think it’s fair to say whoever took it did so by magical means, and they knew exactly who they were taking it from, and what she was. It may well have been an act of revenge of some kind, from someone Buffy has defeated in battle previously, or a consort of someone she’s fought.”

“Right,” said Spike, his brow furrowed as he processed the info. “There’s not much use drawing up a list of all the beasties Buffy’s battled, is there?”

“Perhaps not,” Giles conceded, furiously cleaning his glasses in frustration.

“So,” Spike then addressed Willow, “Is there some kind of tracking spell you can do on the soul? A locator?”

“I’ve tried,” she said, “Whoever has it, has it cloaked.”

“Cloaks can be torn, though?” he asked, feeling very much like he was clutching at straws.

“Maybe,” said Willow, more for the fact that she was scared to say no, than from the belief it was possible.

“Right,” Spike said again, “Well, look into it. An’, in the meantime, I don’ want the Slayer sedated anymore. The worst of the pain’s eased a bit, and the shock’s gone.”

Willow nodded, getting to her feet. “I’ll wake her up.”

Giles said, “Dawn has told me that Buffy fainted before she fell pregnant. Around the time she discovered you were alive.”

Spike shook his head. “I didn’t know.”

“Well, I think it’s important. Those occasions of unconsciousness may well have been failed attempts to extract the soul before now.”

“So you’re saying the fainting wasn’t stress, or tiredness? Wasn’t us?”

Giles looked confused, “Wasn’t you? I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

“I thought…” Spike trailed off and shook his head again. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Have you slept?” the watcher asked him, but he didn’t get a response. Giles didn’t want to exasperate Spike, especially not when he’d calmed down and was thinking more clearly – most likely due to Buffy calming down, he presumed – but he thought it best to warn him in advance that Angel was on his way. To both his and Xander’s shock, Spike barely reacted to the news at all. He just nodded solemnly and headed back to his mate.

 

Willow had gradually been bringing Buffy out of slumber and, as she rose to the surface of consciousness, Spike wanted to be there. He was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes and immediately she quieted down.

“You been having nightmares, sweet pea?”

The Slayer nodded and wound her arms around his neck to bury her face against his shoulder as she sobbed.

“Tha’s okay, luv. Let it out,” he cooed.

“I’m gonna give you a minute,” Willow told them.

“Go home,” Spike replied, softly. “All of you, until Angel gets here.”

The Witch nodded and left the room. When the door closed, Buffy only clutched harder at her mate.

“Spike, I need you!” she pleaded, tears still running down her cheeks. “You make it hurt less.”

“I know, baby. I know,” he replied in almost a whisper before kissing the tears away.

The Slayer leaned forward, catching his lips with her own, and they kissed – tenderly, and passionately, and then aggressively – as they found their way back to the bed, where they removed each other’s clothes.

“I need–” Buffy started to say again, but Spike cut her off with another kiss.

“Shhh,” he said, running a hand over her belly. “It’s okay. I’m here. Always here. I love you, Buffy. Gonna give you what you need.”

 

When the couple were sated and the link between them sang with harmony, Spike finally drifted off with Buffy’s arms wound tightly around him. Upon waking, however, she was gone, the bed they shared empty on her side.

Spike tried not to panic that his mate was not at his side, for he could feel through the claim that she was nearby – likely in the next room – and his senses also picked up that she wasn’t feeling quite as bad. Still, he got up and went to her.

Buffy was in the kitchen, drinking straight from the neck of one of Spike’s whiskey bottles. Panic fully took hold of him at that point. His eyes practically bugged out of his head as he approached her and snatched the drink from her grip. She cried at the loss of it, and he knew he couldn’t be mad at her. Alcohol was the first port of call when he was suffering, and the lack of a soul made the line between right and wrong fade so much you could barely see it. He understood, but it didn’t make him feel any better.

Pouring the rest of the expensive bottle Giles had given him right down the drain, Spike took his crying mate in his arms without saying a word.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, as she felt his turmoil through the link.

“I forgive you,” he replied, but she shook her head.

“I thought having no soul meant you couldn’t love – couldn’t feel anything. And I justified what I did to you because of– And I was wrong, Spike. I was so wrong.”

“Pet,” was all he was able to choke out in response as he pulled her tighter. Then, after a few moments of silence, he repeated his early sentiment and said she was forgiven.

 

When the Scooby gang returned to the house, not long after that, to find Spike barefoot, shirtless, and with his flies unbuttoned – Xander’s face fell, and he dropped the box of books and magical ingredients he’d been carrying.

“Tell me you haven’t been doing it,” he said, complete horror in his voice. Spike ignored him and tried to push past to get to the table, but the carpenter pressed an accusing finger to his chest and wouldn’t let him by. “Please tell me you didn’t just go in there and, and–”

“And what?!” Spike snapped.

Xander shook his head, his anger growing, “You’ve been with Buffy!”

“Happen I have,” said Spike.

Eyes flashing, Xander yelled, “You’re sick!”

Giles got between them at that point. Admonishing the younger man, he said, “What Spike and Buffy do is not our concern. He would never­–”

“Ha!” Harris spat, making Spike’s eyes narrow further.

“Don’t make me throw you out, Whelp,” he warned.

“Giles, do something,” Xander pleaded, amazed that no one else was freaking out. “He can’t take advantage of her when she’s like this!”

Giles sighed and tried again. “Xander, they are mated,” he said. Holding up his hand to fend off another interruption, he continued, “They have a link – a part of each other – and as a result, Buffy will no doubt be most calm, most herself the closer she is with Spike. I’m convinced his, uh, intimacy at this time is possibly the best thing for her.”

There was silence for a minute, as that sunk in. Xander remained speechless, but Spike realized something. “This is why the Powers wanted us to do the claim,” he said. “Buffy was right in going ahead with it.”

“It would seem so,” Giles admitted. “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

Spike waved a hand in dismissal. “Doesn’t make any difference to me. Should apologize to the Slayer when she comes round, though.”

“Indeed,” said Giles, his face grim.

 

Buffy was sleeping off the alcohol in her and Spike’s bedroom, the Scooby gang were back on the books – Willow trying and re-trying different kinds of locator spells – when Angel finally arrived and began to pace the floor.

Spike was wondering what the point of his grandsire’s presence was exactly, but he couldn’t find it in him to snark at the older vamp’s lack of help. He was beyond stress and was considering joining him in his trek back and forth across the living room floor when Giles pulled him aside into the kitchen.

Hope swelled in his chest. “You’ve got something?”

“I thought I had,” said Giles.

“Thought?” Spike questioned. “What bloody good does that do us?!”

“Spike, listen, please. When I said I couldn’t find any relevant prophecies to our situation, that wasn’t quite true. Or, well, it was, actually, but I thought it wasn’t.”

“Bleedin’ hell.”

“I know,” said Giles, his tone placating. “Bear with me. There’s a passage, let me read it. It’s in Latin, so I’m afraid it’s a paraphrase, _‘The warrior goddess –_ that is, a woman with a human body but more than human strength _– golden hair, and great beauty, but lacking a soul will be with child and it will come to term despite all odds’_.”

“Right, yes, go on,” Spike urged.

“Well, at first I thought it was about Buffy,” Giles continued, until Spike cut him off again.

“Obviously it’s about Buffy, who else would it be?”

“Darla,” he replied, simply.

The color drained from Spike’s face, then. “You’re saying Angel’s been through this little scene before? He knows somethin’? That’s why he’s here?”

Giles wasn’t sure how to answer his questions, for he didn’t really understand it himself, beyond the fact that his cross-referenced texts identified the warrior goddess as a vampire, impregnated by another vampire – one with a soul. The blonde didn’t wait around for an explanation, anyway. Almost as soon as he voiced his questions he left the kitchen, stalked up to his grandsire and punched him square in the jaw.

Angel hit back on impulse. “What the hell, Spike?”

“What do you know? You sod!”

“What?” Angel stopped scrapping and held up his hands defensively. “Spike, I don’t know anything.”

“Bollocks. Y’r bird’s been here. What happened then?”

Angel’s face fell as he looked around at all the faces staring back at him, waiting for answers.

“Darla’s pregnancy has nothing to do with this,” he said, finally.

“We can’t know that for sure,” Giles interjected. “There could be all kinds of things we could learn, if only we had the details.”

“No,” said Angel. “Really, it wasn’t like this at all. We were both vamps, and you and Buffy–” he was looking at Spike again. “You’re human, right? Just stronger than normal. You both have souls. Darla didn’t. She didn’t lose one, because she didn’t have it to lose. If anything, she gained one – kinda.”

“What do you mean, kinda?” asked Xander. “And why is this the first time any of us have heard about this?”

“I can explain that, but not now. Really, you have to believe me, it’s not related to this. It’s only gonna waste time. Darla felt the soul of our son – Connor – it affected her. Made her as if she was souled, for a bit. It’s why she did the right thing and sacrificed herself so he could be born.”

“Damn it,” Spike yelled, kicking a box halfway across the room. “I’m sick of bloody dead ends. Been over a day and we’re no soddin’ closer to knowing anything.”

“Spike,” Buffy called out from the doorway. No one had noticed her enter, but instantly all eyes were on her.

“What is it, pet?” he replied, manner completely shifting as he moved to her side.

“I could feel your anger,” she said.

The simple reply hit him like an accusation, full in the chest, and he hung his head. “I’m sorry. I’ll calm. It’s gonna be okay. You go back to bed.”

Buffy shook her head defiantly. “I’ve been in there too long. It’s making me restless.”

“Okay,” said Spike, because there was no way he was gonna disagree with her and force her into sedation again, but he didn’t know what else to do instead.

There was silence for a bit as no one else knew what to do, either, then finally the Slayer spoke again.

“Can we go for a walk?” she asked Spike. “I just want to get out the house.”

“Sure, pet,” he agreed, grabbing their coats.

 

Research recommenced in their absence, and Angel decided he wasn’t helping, so he left again. Later that night, Dawn joined everyone else for a pizza break and Xander approached her.

“Look, Dawn, I know this is a bad time,” he began.

She shook her head and answered with an outright “No” before he even finished the sentence, knowing exactly what he wanted her to do.

“But, Dawnie,” he pleaded.

“No,” she said again. “Don’t take that tone with me. I’m not gonna change my mind. What you did to Caitlin was wrong, and I do hope you sort it out, but it is _yours_ to sort out. I’m not gonna talk to her. It’s time for you to deal with your own messes.”

“Right,” he said, sighing before opening another book.


	35. Donation

After three days of making very little progress, Giles was at the end of his tether.

“Buffy simply cannot function without a soul,” he said, to no one in particular. “We need to solve this as soon as possible.”

Xander threw a glance at Spike, who snapped at him, “What?”

“Well, it’s just, you know…” he shifted in his seat. “How come Buffy can’t function without a soul, but you could? Kinda hating myself for saying this, but you were almost human for a while.”

“I have a theory on that, actually,” said Giles, but Spike stood up and started pacing again, effectively silencing him.

“Is your theory gonna help Buffy? Because, if not, I don’t want to hear it. We have to help her now. All this is taking too long.”

The watcher was deeply affected by the pleading in Spike’s whole demeanor. “Yes, quite right,” he agreed, “That’s what I was saying – time is of the essence. We need to minimize the amount of stress placed on both Buffy and the baby.”

Spike growled. “Lot of words to state the obvious – again – watcher, but what do we do?”

The room went quiet, not a single suggestion left between the whole group.

“Bloody hell. Give her my soul, if it’ll help!”

“We can’t do that,” Willow interjected, then looked at Giles for confirmation, “Can we?”

“Perhaps,” he considered.

“Argh!” Spike raged. “Just do it. Find a way and just bloody do it.”

“Damn,” said Xander, when he stomped out of the room. “Has he always been like this? So…” he paused. “I think the word I’m looking for is… caring? Willing to do anything?”

“Yes,” Willow admitted, ducking her head, “We just didn’t want to see it.”

“Damn,” Harris said again, feeling guilty himself.

Willow sighed and turned the conversation back to Giles. “You’re saying giving Buffy Spike’s soul might be possible? But, how? Souls can’t live in a host other than the one of origin – or so says the book in front of me.”

“The claim,” said Giles, “I believe it exempts the rule. Because they are linked, Spike’s soul would still be tied to him, despite being in Buffy, therefore it should reside quite… ah, _happily_. I just wish we’d have thought of it sooner.”

“Okay,” said Willow, nodding and not feeling at all sure. “Then we try it, I guess?”

“Yes,” the watcher resolved, suddenly getting to his feet. “We must.”

 

The spell didn’t take long to prepare, but the hard part had come in convincing the Slayer. She loved and trusted Spike – with or without his soul – but she couldn’t bear to think of him going through that much pain for her. Again.

“Buffy,” he pleaded. “If not for yourself, then do it for the little one, eh?”

She frowned, knowing he had her over a barrel. She’d do anything for their child, but that didn’t mean she had to like it.

“Look,” Spike continued, “We’ll go in our room, just us, the watcher, and Red. And it’ll be over quickly. We have each other to get through it.”

“O-okay,” she stammered, caressing his face with the palm of one hand while the other lay against her bump. Then she turned to Giles, asking if the spell would affect the baby.

“There’s no reason why it should,” he told her, before swallowing his pride and admitting, “It would seem that this is why the Powers wanted you and Spike to mate. They most likely foresaw the attack and put measures in to limit how much damage it could do, providing a way for you to deal with it. You were right to trust your instinct.”

“I know,” said Buffy, her tone full of conviction as she nodded her head towards Spike. “He taught me that.”

Spike couldn’t help but smile. “Time to get this show on the road, then…”

 

Sat with his legs crossed on one side of his king size bed, Spike faced Buffy who was in a similar position. They held hands and sent silent waves of reassurance to each other through the Link.

When the incantation was done, they screamed in unison and clenched their hands together so hard the skin almost broke. Willow looked traumatized just observing the process of Spike having a part of himself ripped out and transplanted elsewhere. She glanced at Giles for confirmation that everything was going as planned, and he nodded, his lips pulled tight in a line.

Then it was over. Spike and Buffy fell into each other’s arms as the act was complete, and the watcher and Witch stepped outside to give them privacy.


	36. Opposition

“So…” Xander began with a grimace, gesturing towards Spike and Buffy’s bedroom door. “They’ve just been through a very painful spell. Why are they having sex?” He held up a hand as if to interrupt himself, then adjusted the question. “Why are they having _loud_ sex, that we can hear?”

“I’ve already explained this,” said Giles. “When in pain, the best thing either of them can do to soothe it is to… join together.”

“Right,” Harris cringed again. “The claim thing. Still kinda wigged about that.”

“Uh huh,” murmured Willow, trying not to think about it. “So this buys us time, right? We still need to figure out who took Buffy’s soul and why?”

“Indeed,” said Giles, “Of course.”

“Where do we check now?” asked Dawn, but before anyone could answer her, the front door burst open. Rona and Vi ran into the hallway and slammed the door shut again.

They began blockading it when the phone started ringing. The sounds of Buffy and Spike’s union died down, and the ex-vampire was heard exclaiming, “Bloody hell,” as the Slayer picked up.

 

“You’re gonna need to sit down and listen carefully, B,” came the voice down the line.

Faith explained all she knew as fast as possible and, when the Slayer hung up and got herself together, she walked out into the chaos that was her living room.

The two other slayers were out of breath and badly explaining the situation in fits and starts.

“What’s happening?” Xander and Dawn were asking.

“Who was on the phone?” said Willow.

“What’s coming, luv?” said Spike.

“Slayers,” Buffy answered. “Lots of them. Willow, put up a protection spell now.”

Without another word, the Witch complied and, practicalities having been dealt with for the time being, the Slayer sat down and let the shock of everything wash over her. She began to cry and rub her hand protectively over her bump.

“What’s happening?” Xander dared to ask again.

Spike was lost in a sea of emotions. Looking over at Buffy, he was tempted to go to her. His instinct was torn between comfort and protection, and he wasn’t sure he could do both or either in that moment. Finally, though, he turned to the boy and said, “The slayers are coming after us. They want to hurt Buffy. To end her pregnancy.” He paused, looking to Rona and Vi for confirmation. “That about right?”

They nodded, solemnly.

“You have the details?” Spike pressed, calling on all the strength within himself to remain calm.

“Yeah,” said Rona.

“Well, work with the Scoobies here. Come up with a plan to deal with them. Because if one more person threatens my family, I swear to every hell god in this sodding galaxy I will start ripping throats out and I don’t give a damn if they’re human, or Chosen, or little fucking girls!”

There were more nods from all around the room. No one dared argue with him. Having said his piece, Spike finally went and took Buffy in his arms.

“Faith said they wanted to recruit her,” she told him, through sobs. “They asked her to come here and kill my baby. They– Spike, she said they think it’s an abomination, and that she deserves to die.”

Spike’s blood boiled. He couldn’t even whisper reassurances to his Mate because he didn’t trust himself to speak.

In the background, he was aware Willow was still chanting and all the others were talking over each other. Then came the banging at the door.

“We know you’re in there,” came the booming voice of Kennedy on the other side.

At the sound of it, Willow gasped and the spell faltered momentarily.

“Keep it together, Red,” Spike barked, but she was already back in control.

“We’ve come here to do the right thing,” Kennedy continued, “Let us in now.”

Having appointed himself the negotiator in the situation, Giles told her that there was no way he was letting anyone harm his family, and that any mission they thought they were on was completely wrong.

“Bull!” she replied. “I’ve seen the deets.”

“Information?” Giles questioned, suddenly intrigued. “About Buffy and her child?”

“Yeah, off the website and stuff. We’re not gonna let the hell spawn be born, no matter who’s carrying it.”

Spike stood and looked at Giles who stared back at him for a moment, then told Willow to make a hole in the barrier.

Opening the door, Spike whipped the girl inside and slammed it shut in the faces of all the rest.

“Talk!” he said, disarming Kennedy and pushing her down in a chair. “Right now.”


	37. Answers

Kennedy was sat with her arms crossed and a scowl deeply etched into her face, playing every bit the role of petulant child. After throwing a third dirty look across at Buffy, Spike reached out and struck her cheek, sending her reeling back into the recliner.

Visibly shaken, the young slayer looked up at the venom in the ex-vampire’s eyes and addressed everyone else in the room asking, “You’re all just gonna stand there and let this demon hit me? Wow, talk about losing the mission big time.”

“Not a demon anymore,” Spike told her through clenched teeth.

Kennedy rolled her eyes and Giles informed her that he was very tempted to hit her himself. “If anyone has lost the mission, I should rather think it’s the person trying to kill a human mother and child, you stupid, insolent girl.”

Buffy just sat back and watched the scene. She couldn’t help but feel her watcher might have been on Kennedy’s side not five months previously.

“What information you got?” Spike demanded, bringing the conversation back to topic.

“Like you don’t already know,” Kennedy snapped. “Should have all the deets on your hell spawn.”

Before Spike could lash out again, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder and feelings of peace radiating from the touch. Turning round to find Willow standing at his back, his eyes went wide in fear.

“The protection spell will hold,” she reassured him, knowing what he must be thinking. “Just let me talk to her, okay?”

He thought about it for a moment, then nodded and went back to sit with Buffy.

Kennedy glared at her ex-girlfriend, then suddenly jumped up and tried to move past her to assault the pregnant Slayer. Willow froze her in place before the others had a chance to react, then levitated her rigid form easily into the kitchen where she shut the door behind them. The remainder of the group looked at each other and Xander half-jokingly questioned which girl they should be more worried about.

“Is there something we’re missing?” Vi whispered.

“Heard Willow once skinned a guy alive,” replied Rona, making Vi turn deathly pale.

 

Inside the kitchen, the ex-lovers faced off. There was a long silence and a lot of looks until finally Willow asked, “Is the information you found remotely reliable, or is it anyway likely you’re targeting my best friend to get back at me?”

“Please!” Kennedy spat. “Get over yourself.”

“I know you better than you think, y’know.”

“Whatever.”

Willow sighed. “Kennedy, you know this is crazy. You can’t seriously want to–”

“You just left,” Kennedy interjected, her bravado falling away in an instant. “You just left, and I’m not supposed to be bitter?”

“Sweetie,” said Willow.

“Don’t you dare sweetie me!”

She nodded, solemnly. “I’m gonna let you lose, okay?”

 

Within ten minutes, Willow had the full story and Kennedy was on her way from the house again, on the understanding that they’d conclude their own issues at a later date.

“So, what’s the deal?” asked Xander, hoping the whole situation could now be easily fixed and attention returned to sorting out his own drama.

Willow found the website Kennedy had told her about and projected it magically onto the wall, allowing everyone to read the ramblings of an obviously slightly loopy dark seer in Papa New Guinea.

“This guy had a vision about me?” Buffy asked, summarizing. “About us?”

“Looks like,” confirmed Willow.

The Slayer was looking down at her belly when her next question came, in a quiet voice, laden with fear. “What does this mean?”

“Doesn’t mean a damn thing!” Spike insisted, but Buffy wanted to hear that from her watcher.

Giles read over the text several times before deciding it was “a lot of rubbish” and shed “no light at all” on the whereabouts of Buffy’s soul.

“There’s no evidence to indicate he knows anything other than you were due to have a child, and the extraction seems to be a different matter entirely.”

“Damn,” said Xander, throwing down a book that was older than him in frustration. Giles gave him an irritated glance then looked past him to the tense younger slayers who were still standing watching everything unfold.

“I don’t believe we’ll require any more assistance,” he told them, “Thank you for coming to our aid. Perhaps you should patrol?”

Rona nodded and made her way to leave, Vi trailing behind.

Just as the door shut, the phone rang and Spike picked up, fully expecting to find Faith on the other end, wanting an update. He was not best pleased to hear the voice of Riley Finn coming out of the receiver at him.

 

The Scoobies looked on as Spike took his frustrations out on Riley down the phone, letting rip with a loud and somewhat incoherent rant. They weren’t aware it was Riley, though.

Buffy was able to guess, based on what the ex-vampire was saying – making references to events only the three of them knew about – and also based on the jealousy and anger he was feeling.

She got up, placed a firm hand on his forearm, and gave him a look until he handed the handset over. She also kissed him, briefly, before unceremoniously asking her ex-boyfriend what he wanted.

Choosing not to answer her, Riley asked, “Why is Spike in your house? Are you okay? I knew you shouldn’t have gotten his chip taken out. Now he’s a dangerous animal and why is he in your house?”

Buffy took a deep breath before replying, “Spike and I are married now. He’s also human again and not your concern. What do you want?”

“Human, really? You’re not just saying that to–”

“Riley, please, it’s been a really, _really_ bad time lately, can you please just tell me why you’re calling.”

“Right. Sorry. Remember Ethan Rayne?”

Of course Buffy remembered her father figure’s old friend turned enemy. Her heart dropped a little at the mention of his name and she glared across at Giles for ever bringing the chaos worshiper into her life.

“I do,” was all she said verbally.

“Well, he was released from military hold about eighteen months ago and we recently picked him up again for practicing the dark arts on humans and endangering society.”

Buffy couldn’t help but gasp a little in surprise. She hadn’t expected them to hold him that long. It didn’t seem fair, but if he was up to his old tricks again then she figured it probably was.

“If he’s back in a cell and no longer a threat I’m guessing there’s more to this story than just that,” she said, almost expecting his next revelation.

“We found a journal in his personal possessions. It had – I can’t believe I’m saying this – it had had all these notes about taking your soul. And there’s even this little jar with a ‘ _Buffy Summer’s Soul_ ’ label on it, but I know that’s not possible, so I’m really _not_ sure why I’m telling you, I just–”

“That bastard!” Buffy yelled, cutting off the rest of his sentence.

“You know something about this?” he asked.

“Riley, you need to get me that jar.”

“I can’t do that. It’s evidence. And, actually, it’s a little rich for you to be expecting me to break protocol for you. After everything in the past, and you and your _husband_ talking to be like–”

“Riley, I swear to God I will send Spike to rip your head from your shoulders if you don’t send me that jar!”

“This phone call was clearly a mistake. Goodbye, Buffy.”

“No! Wait!” she tried to say, but he was gone.

Buffy put her head in her hands and Spike held her tight until she stopped shaking. When it had passed, she explained the whole thing to the group. He was very much tempted to make good on her threat.


	38. Action Plan

Once everyone had calmed down enough about the recent revelations, an impromptu old-style Scooby meeting started to decide how best to proceed. Buffy excused herself in favor of a nap and Spike was tempted join her but decided that staying was the most wise and practical thing to do.

In the light of impending fatherhood, he’d been actively trying to do the right thing, even when it usually wasn’t the easiest or most gratifying option. So, he made himself a strong coffee and he sat down.

“What do we do?”

“Well,” Willow began, “I think I can get Buffy’s soul back.”

Spike’s eyebrows shot up. “How’s that?”

“First I do a tracer spell to tell me where Riley is. Then, assuming the place where they’re holding the jar is near him, I’ll be able to focus a second spell on that area which will break it and release the soul.”

“And if it’s not in the area?”

The Witch frowned and shrugged simultaneously. The action would have been funny, if the situation wasn’t so serious. “Then nothing changes, I guess. The spell won’t work. The soul will stay in the jar, locked away for years, probably, but at least no one can use it for anything.”

“Indeed,” Giles agreed. “We don’t know if Ethan was planning to use it in a spell himself, or sell it on to someone else, but either plan seems to have been stopped for now.”

“Right,” said Spike, taking it all in as he sipped his coffee. “And we couldn’t try and break the jar with your spell before because we needed a general location to start?”

“Yeah,” said Willow, smiling.

“Okay,” Xander interjected, “But what happens if there are books or crystals or some other things holding demons in that area, and we accidentally let those loose?”

“Won’t happen,” Willow assured him. “I’ll make my spell really specific; to only unlock the container of the essence of the chosen one, or words like those. I just don’t know what we’re gonna do with it, once it’s no longer contained.”

“What do you mean?” asked Dawn.

“Well, if we get Buffy’s soul back we can’t return it to her while she’s still got Spike’s.”

“And to remove Spike’s so as to put Buffy’s back in would likely be too much for her,” Giles concluded.

“So, we just wait until she’s strong enough – or, y’know, not pregnant anymore – and do the old switcheroo then, right?”

Giles shook his head, “To move someone’s soul is a serious thing. It should not be done unless extremely necessary and, not to put too fine a point on it, it simply _isn’t_ necessary. Buffy is coping with Spike’s soul better than anyone could have expected. In addition, it is extremely unsafe to have a soul outside of a host for the length of time it will take for Buffy to come to term.”

Willow agreed. “We have to find a container safe enough for it, so no one else could take it and attempt whatever ritual it was originally removed for.”

Xander had a look of resignation on his face. “The logical thing to do here is put it in Spike, isn’t it?”

“I believe so,” said Giles.

“When?” asked Willow.

“Hang on,” said Spike, holding up a hand. “We’re not doing anything without word from the Slayer.”

“We really should sort this as soon as possible,” Willow reasoned.

“And waking Buffy is _so_ not a good idea,” Dawn chimed in.

“You are not giving me Buffy’s soul without her permission,” Spike affirmed again, putting an end to it. “Spell can wait for a couple hours while she gets some kip. World’s not gonna end between now and then, right?”

Giles sighed and sided with Spike. “We wait,” he said.

It was the next day before the spell was done. All breathed a sigh of relief when it went off without a hitch.


	39. Building Bridges and Beds

In the weeks that followed the return of Buffy’s soul – albeit returned to Spike, rather than the Slayer herself – everyone was on damage control. Willow and Kennedy had their follow up closure talk by phone, Xander and Caitlin began to take some _very_ small steps in the right direction, and Buffy called Riley to apologize for snapping at him.

Spike had told her not to bother, of course, but she reasoned with him, saying the commando was a useful ally and good for information. He couldn’t deny that they’d still have no clue about the whereabouts of the Slayer’s soul had it not been for him, and that his mate was feeling heavy guilt over the situation, so he let the subject drop without further argument.

After that was done, Buffy called Faith to update her on the situation. The other slayer ended the call by saying, “Tell little sis I owe her five bucks,” with no further explanation. Upon relaying the message to Dawn, it was met with much screeching.

“Calm,” said Buffy. “Breathe. Explain.”

“I bet Faith five dollars she would totally end up with Gunn.”

“Huh?” said Buffy, more confused than before. “Gunn?”

Dawn beamed at her sister. “Yeah. I knew it’d happen. Bet they’re super cute together.”

“Faith is dating Gunn? That’s one of Angel’s guys, right? What happened to Principal Wood?”

Incredulous at her lack of knowledge, Dawn exclaimed, “God, do you even read the newsletter?”

“There’s a newsletter? Who even-” Buffy stopped mid-sentence as realization dawned on her. “Andrew, of course.”

“Yup. Totally his brain child.”

“Right. Update me.”

Dawn rolled her eyes. “Robin got offered a job back in New York, so he and Faith went their separate ways. It was _totally_ amicable, apparently.”

“Faith went to the Hellmouth in Cleveland,” said Buffy; she knew that much. “Gunn went to help her out?”

Dawn nodded, still giddy with excitement.

Buffy thought it over, her eyes suddenly widening. “What does Andrew write about me and Spike?!”

“Oh, umm…” Dawn blushed, then made a speedy exit. If the Slayer hadn’t been so heavily pregnant, she would have been able to catch up with her but, as it was, she didn’t even try.

So, she lifted the phone again; demanding an apology, an explanation, and a web address, in that order. She swiftly got all three and set about reading all the past issues of the newsletter…

 

“Honey?” Buffy called out, some time later, when she heard Spike come in from work. “It says here that someone called Illyria transcended to a higher plane. You know who she is?”

“Blue?” asked Spike, “Sure. She’s one of the old ones. Was hanging out in Fred’s body.”

Buffy looked confused for a moment before shrugging it off. “We’ve led some weird lives.”

“Can say that again,” he agreed, grinning.

It was then the Slayer noticed excitement was rolling off him in waves. She eyed him curiously, before asking what he was hiding.

“Might have something for you…” he teased.

“A present?” she said, suddenly taking on the air of a five-year-old who’d just been told they’re visiting Disney Land.

“Yeah, Love. It’s outside. You’re gonna go in the kitchen while I bring it in and get it all set up. Hey, you can even make me a sandwich while you’re there.”

The Slayer’s smile turned into a glare and she swatted his hands away from her. “Whatever it is better make up for that _so_ not funny comment.”

“I know, I know,” he said. “You’re a terrible cook.”

“Spike,” she said, more than a hint of warning in her voice. “Go out there and get me my present right now or so help me.”

“Don’t mean it, Pet,” he soothed.

“ _Now_ ,” she reiterated, before going to the kitchen and shutting the door.

Spike smiled in triumph, hoping his plan of pissing her off would mean she wouldn’t peek. It took him longer to set his gift up that expected, though. It was a tight fit getting it through the door, and then he decided to bolt it to the floor, which was a bit awkward. By the time he was halfway through putting on the covers, Buffy’s patience ran out. She walked into the room and gasped at the sight of the impressive bed.

“You made this?” she asked, running her hand across the polished steel.

“Had to focus my energies someplace,” he said, by way of explanation. “Lest I’d have murdered one of your precious friends or associates by now. ‘an, as we’ve discovered, a normal bed can’t quite cut it. Comes in handy, since we’re at it again.”

Buffy finally looked up from his incredible gift to look him in the eye. “Yeah, I noticed that. _So_ wasn’t gonna question it, because it felt so right, y’know? But what’s with the change?”

“Oh, right, you missed some of the details. Rupes said you passing out was to do with that Wanker trying to hurt you. Nothing to do with overexertion after all.”

“Oh.” She held back the desire to say, ‘I told you so,’ and instead smiled and thanked him for the gift. “So, are we gonna try this thing out or not?”

The grin he gave her could have blocked out the sun, in that moment. “Will probably have to be a bit more inventive with the positions,” he said, “With you getting bigger by the bloody hour, but that’s never been a problem for us before.”

Buffy slapped playfully at his arm for making fun of her size. If she didn’t know he loved it so much, she’d be self-conscious about the impressive baby bump.

“Do me already,” she said, bluntly, with a pout. “Had enough waiting.”

“As you wish,” he replied.


	40. Sex and Music

Early in the morning, Buffy entered the kitchen quietly, taking in the sound of Spike humming along to the radio as he washed dishes. She was enjoying the moment, but it ended too soon he sensed her at his back. Pouting, she reached out to wrap her arms around him.

“Why is it you always walk in when I’m having a special time with my music?” he asked, then couldn’t help but cringe at how awkward he’d made it sound.

Buffy laughed and began to tease him. “Well, if you wanna be alone with–” she paused and her nose crinkled up as she tried and failed to place the song, “…yet another band I don’t recognize, then I’ll just leave you to it.”

“Don’t think so,” said Spike, turning around to devour her mouth and pull at her clothes with damp hands.

“Hey, wait,” she said, pulling away for a breath. “I _do_ know this!”

“Huh?”

“That voice. I know it. Where do I–”

“Sssh, love,” said Spike, capturing her lips again, but after a minute or two, he felt her hands on his chest pushing him away.

“Wait. Did the announcer just say that was _Dingoes Ate My Baby_?”

“Yeah,” he answered distractedly, as he pawed at her breasts over her sweater.

“Spike! Don’t you know who they are?!”

“Don’t rightly care,” he huffed. “This moment in time, I just wanna be shagging you.”

He had her there. Even the mention of sex made her thoughts turn to fog. Suddenly, their lips were mashed together again and his hands roaming her body picked up momentum.

 

Later – after they’d spent the best part of two hours christening the kitchen floor – Buffy rolled off Spike and said, “I’ve gotta tell Willow. She’ll be stoked.”

Spike gave her a confused little smile before replying, “I’m glad she’ll be happy about you landing a marathon man.”

“No,” said Buffy, rolling her eyes at him good-naturedly. “I meant about Dingoes. What I was saying before. You don’t know who they are?”

Spike propped himself up on his elbows and shrugged. “I know they’ve had four weeks solid radio play with that song.”

“Dingoes were a Sunnydale band,” Buffy explained. “They played in the Bronze all the time. Oz was a member. You know, Willow’s ex?”

“Er… right,” said Spike. “Dog boy?”

“Werewolf,” Buffy confirmed.

“Nice. Well, I gotta go to work,” Spike concluded, rising to his feet as Buffy groaned at him. “Hey, you’re the one wanted me to get a bleeding job. Can’t complain when I have to leave to go do it.”

“ _Can_ complain, and will,” she protested. “I wish you could just stay here with me. We could have post-sex cuddles.”

He smiled at her, forever appreciative of what they had, then offered his hand to pull her up. “Enjoy your day. Have a nice long bath, and I’ll be along later to make you all dirty again.”

Buffy blushed, “Promise?”

“Promise, Kitten. I love you.”

“Love you too,” she said, finally releasing him.

 

Willow came over to visit the Slayer while Spike was still out. There was small talk for a bit, and Buffy told her the news about Oz, which she apparently already knew, and then the Witch dropped her bombshell.

“All this talk of settling down, it made me want a family of my own,” she said.

“Okay,” replied Buffy, biting her lip. “Umm, how? Because I’m totally not against it or anything, but you haven’t been with…um–” she struggled to remember the name of Willow’s girlfriend. “Sharon? Very long and… and two girls can’t really – you know. With the biology…” she broke off again to make a gesture Willow was assuming was meant to represent conception.

“Sperm donor,” she said bluntly, just about managing to stifle her laughter. “And the baby will be my sole responsibility.”

“Oh,” Buffy blushed. “Sperm donor. _Riiight_. Right. Sorry, that was a dumb.”

“It’s okay,” said Willow, nervously anticipating the next question.

“So, who’s the lucky guy?”

“Xander.”

Buffy spat out her water. “Willow, is that a good idea?”

“I… Yes,” she said, nodding. “Yes, I think it is.”

“Well,” said Buffy struggling to stand up to give her a hug. “If you say it is then I’m support-o-girl.” Pulling back from the embrace, she saw there were tears in her friend’s eyes.

“Sorry,” said Willow as she gave an embarrassed smile. “It’s just a nice moment, and you really are so supportive, even after we didn’t support you a bunch of times and–” her speech broke off into fully fledged sobbing and Buffy blinked at her.

“Willow, are you already pregnant?”

“Umm…”

“Oh my god, you are!”

“Sorry,” Willow said again. “Um, surprise?”

 

One day, about a week later, Spike came home from work covered in motor oil to find Buffy dancing around the house, singing along to the CD player – supposedly dusting. Her bump wiggled in time with the music and it was just too tempting to not reach out and put his arms around her.

“Ugh, you’re filthy,” she complained, as she pulled him closer.

He smiled, and replied, “You’re beautiful.”

“Shhh,” she said, “Listen to the words.”

So he kissed her and listened. It was a cheery, sincere, little love song:

 

_“Because of you_

_I'm running out of reasons to cry_

_When the friends are gone_

_When the party's over_

_We will still belong to each other…”_

 

Buffy abandoned the feather duster, and the couple swayed together.

_“Underneath your clothes_

_There's an endless story_

_There's the man I chose_

_There's my territory…”_

 

“Mine,” Buffy whispered, in the break between verses.

“Yours,” Spike whispered right back, nuzzling her neck where his claim mark was. “I love you, baby.”

The actual baby kicked then. They both felt it and laughed together.

“You too,” Spike added, kneeling to lay a kiss on Buffy’s belly through her shirt.

When he was on his feet again, the Slayer promised him very good things once he got cleaned up. She laughed as he took off towards the bathroom; it was the most eager she’d ever seen him run anywhere.

Rubbing a hand over her bump, she smiled as she thought about all she had to be thankful for.

She made her way to her and Spike’s bedroom and stripped off, leaving herself only clad in a pair of silk panties, as she heard the water turn on. Climbing into bed, she was feeling more than excited at the thought of sex with her Mate.

Pregnancy had pushed her already exceedingly high sex drive through the roof, and the tie between the couple was growing in strength daily, making their union even better again.

 

Across the hall, Spike was excited, too. He was trying hard to get all of the motor oil off while also trying to wash as quickly as he could, which left him distracted.

Dropping and subsequently washing away almost a full bottle of shower gel, he swore and had to get out of the shower and hunt around in the cabinet for another one before continuing. Except there wasn’t another one, and he was forced to use a bottle Dawn had set aside because it’s floral scent was too pungent even for her.

“Bloody hell,” he exclaimed to the shower curtain. “Gonna be smelling like soddin’ roses for a week.”

When he was finally done and dried, he swaggered into the bedroom to find Buffy asleep. His face fell and then almost instantly brightened again as he thought about how beautiful she was. “Glowing,” he mumbled, before correcting himself. _“Effulgent.”_

“Mmm?” said Buffy, in her sleep.

“Nothin’ pet,” he replied, softly, kissing her forehead and curling into bed with her.


	41. Count Down

October 2005 was both an extremely busy and extremely boring month for the Slayer. She was just about ready to pop, and part of her wanted the waiting to be over. Another part was terrified of childbirth, though. And a third part was occupied with the fear of being a terrible mother, therefore leaving her glad the scary birth hadn’t yet happened.

Warrior of the people quaking in her boots at the thought of some physical pain and gore? There was a little bit of illogical shame coursing through her about that, also; but she only admitted such things to Spike.

Needless to say, she was glad for the distraction when he came home from work one day and picked a fight with the toaster. Buffy smiled at his back, then sighed dramatically, making him look over at her.

“You gonna to tell me what’s up before or after you tear apart the kitchen?”

“After,” he mumbled.

“Spike…”

“It’s nothin’.”

Buffy shook her head and tried to stop herself from laughing at his immaturity, not sure exactly when she started finding it endearing.

“Remember that time I was annoyed and I wouldn’t say why? And you got annoyed at me for it, and we promised not to do that again?”

He grinned slightly in response, before pointing out that it was only _her_ that made that promise.

_“Spike!”_

“Jokin’ pet.”

“So…” she continued to press, enjoying every aspect of the interaction.

“Ugh,” he ran a hand through his hair. “Jus’ work stuff. Caught between a rock an’ a soddin’ hard place.”

The Slayer waited, making clear by saying nothing that she wanted the entire story, and Spike sighed in resignation, taking a seat at the breakfast bar and gesturing for Buffy to sit opposite him. She struggled for a moment to get onto the high stool but when she was settled, he began.

“Candice came in today.”

“That’s the Barnkipe demon, right?”

“Yeah,” Spike affirmed. “One of Clem’s biggest clients. So, she comes in to order some work for three of her motors. Wants cages installed in the back of pick-up trucks.”

“And I’m guessing that’s not for carrying dead animals hunted with a license,” Buffy guessed.

“Says she’s after werewolves.”

Buffy nodded. ”So, you feel conflicted.”

“Bloody right I do!” Spike replied, though it hadn’t been a question.

The Slayer was fully smiling then. She couldn’t help herself.

“Wot?”

“You. With the morals, and the conscience, it’s very fetching.”

Spike gifted her with a wink before guilt overcame him and the expression of joviality slipped off his face once more. “What do I do?”

“You speak to Clem. He’ll get it.”

“Yeah, he’ll understand, but ‘m not sure he can afford to turn down the work, pet.”

“He doesn’t have to.”

“Are you off yer nut?”

“Nu-uh,” she replied, shaking her head. “Do the work, and I’ll get Vi and Rona to trail the cars out to where they’re hunting. Get them to take out Candice and her team.”

Spike considered her suggestion for a bit, then declared it brilliant. “Get the work _and_ save the wolves,” he summarized, but the Slayer shook her head again. “Not save the wolves?”

“ _Capture_ the wolves. Make sure they understand what’s happening to them. Offer them help to control it, if they want.”

“And if they don’t want it?”

“Make them want it,” she said simply, leaving no room for negotiation.

“Brilliant,” Spike said again. “You’re good at this.”

“Well, _duh_!”

Spike chuckled. Content that his moral dilemma had been solved in a satisfactory way, he resolved to be brave and change the subject: “Halloween next week, Pet.”

Buffy glared at him, annoyed that he’d broken their silent agreement to not mention the unfortunate due date she’d ended up with.

“So?” she asked, finally, almost daring him to make an issue of it.

Spike’s courage died in his throat. He gulped and decided not to take the bait. “So… we should get some sweets in?”

“I’m _not_ giving birth on Halloween,” said Buffy definitively.

“Course not,” he agreed. “Didn’t suggest any such thing…”


	42. Halloween Night

One of the benefits of Spike and Buffy’s new bed was that the headboard wouldn’t give way when one of them was chained to it during an intense round of lovemaking. Of course, due to Buffy’s condition, only Spike had managed to take his turn as submissive, so it was he that found himself bound at the wrists and fully at his lover’s mercy that night.

The Slayer had been driving him wild for an extended period, teasing his flesh all over, before finally sinking herself down on his rock hard cock. She felt a tremor go through her at that – one that was ever so slightly more pain than pleasure – but ignored it. Fully lost in bliss as his mate rocked herself against him, Spike was unaware of the slight changes to the rhythm of Buffy’s breathing. The Slayer _was_ , of course, becoming increasingly aware of the shift in sensations, but she – also enjoying herself – hadn’t managed to put her finger on the cause of the shift.

In the space of a few minutes, a dull ache became a sharp stabbing pain, and Buffy found herself jumping (as best she could) off her lover’s slim frame and hunching over to get control of her breathing. Coming back to himself, Spike looked on worriedly as Buffy put one hand on her knee and wrapped her free arm around her middle. Before the ex-vampire could get a word out, her waters had broken and she was on her hands and knees at the foot of the bed, moaning.

“Bloody hell!” he exclaimed, straining against his chains. As it turned out, one of the downsides of Spike and Buffy’s new bed was that the headboard wouldn’t give way when one of them was in labor five feet away and the other was unable to assist.

“Buffy, pet,” he soothed, trying to sound calm. “You gotta toss me the key.”

“The… the…” she panted the as a fresh contraction hit her. “The keyyyyarghhhh!”

Several thoughts went through Spike’s head at once, just then: shit, damn, bugger, and help, being the most predominant. What came out of his mouth was more soothing words for Buffy, though. “It’s gonna be okay,” he told her. “Gonna be jus’ fine, luv. Breathe and then toss me the key. You can do that, right, pet?”

Even he wasn’t completely convinced but, after a few more moments – when the wave of pain passed – the Slayer managed it. Once free, Spike jumped into action, first bundling Buffy up in his arms and holding her close to his chest for a brief moment, then laying her out on the bed as he ran around and got clothes for both of them. Before she knew it, they were in the car speeding to the hospital.

 

\---

 

“No, Spike!” Buffy insisted, in between long pulls of gas and air. “I’m not giving birth this side of midnight. My child is NOT going to be a Halloween baby, got it?”

“Kitten,” Spike soothed, “It’s jus’ a regular day.”

“It’s a bad omen!” she shot back, “And… and you–” another contraction hit her, and she waited for it to pass before continuing. “You put her in me, so you better bloody well tell her to stay put!”

“But, pet,” Spike tried again. He was met with the fiercest glare his mate could throw at him, causing him to hold up his hands in defeat. “I’ll do what you want.”

“Tell her.”

“You’re serious?”

“Tell her!” Buffy yelled again.

“Right. Right. Umm… Sprog, yeah? You gotta be good for yer mum. Stay where she wants you, that’s a good girl.”

The couple looked at each other for a moment, taking in the ridiculousness of the situation, before Buffy let out a deep laugh. Spike felt the tension roll off his shoulders a little at the sound.

“You’re such an idiot,” said Buffy.

“ _Your_ idiot,” Spike pointed out, with a smile.

 

Two hours later… a sharp cry filled the room.

“Fantastic,” said the doctor, who’d taken the child to wrap it in a blanket before handing it to Spike. “You’re doing fantastically, Buffy.”

“ _Doing_?” she asked, “Doing as in present tense? It’s not over?”

Just as the question left her lips, an innate desire to push came over her once more.

“Oh, god, twins?!”

The doctor chuckled, which she _so_ did not appreciate. “No, dear,” he said, “Just the afterbirth to come.”

“The wha?” she balked.

“The placenta,” Spike provided, eyes focused on the wriggling bundle flesh in his arms.

It was three minutes past twelve.


	43. Birth Day

“Congratulations,” said the doctor. “It’s a boy.”

“A… a boy?” Spike stammered. “Oh.”

Somewhat crestfallen at his reaction, the physician assured him, “Most fathers want a boy.”

“Oh,” Spike repeated, before his mind snapped back into functioning thought. “Oh! A boy!” He beamed, suddenly. “Sorry, doc. Just a shock, is all. We were expecting…” his sentence trailed off as he caught sight of his child again, curled in Buffy’s arms as she gave him his first feed.

The doctor seemed relieved when a look of total awe overcame his face once more.

Taking a seat beside Buffy’s hospital bed, Spike repeated what the doctor had just said over to her. She was so focused on the little boy, Spike was sure she hadn’t heard a word.

“A boy?” she asked, with a little confused pout. Spike chuckled.

“Yeah, luv. Might need to repaint the nursery.”

 

Later, back at the balloon and streamer covered house, Dawn laughed when she heard the news. Punching Spike’s shoulder, she teased him. “So much for instinct. I’m guessing both Joan _and_ Joyce are out as name suggestions, huh?”

“Indeed,” Giles agreed.

“So, what _are_ you gonna call him?” asked Xander.

Buffy looked at her mate, silently communicating with him in a way she still didn’t fully understand. After a long moment and a shrug from Spike, the Slayer declared, “We’ll call him Jay.”

Everyone else seemed to approve. Then the new aunt finally saw the tyke, and she laughed harder. Spike couldn’t help but bristle. “You making fun of him?”

“No!” she said, with earnest. “He’s beautiful. It’s just funny cause he’s brunette. And the curls! _Totally_ cute!”

Spike let out a relieved breath, then laughed a little himself before asking Buffy, “Which one of us is gonna take the rap for not being a natural blonde?”

The Slayer glared at him, not saying a word – silently or otherwise.

“Can’t tell me yours isn’t outta the bottle, love, I’ve seen the evidence.”

The glare got harsher. “Shut up!” she said, slapping lightly at his arm. “It’s a good thing I love you.”

“Think so too,” Spike agreed, leaning down to kiss her.

“Thank you,” she whispered, when their lips parted.

“You too,” he replied, not needing to ask what for. The happiness was coming off them both in waves. Giles was loath to interrupt it, but he felt the timing was right.

“Right,” he said, clearing his throat. “So, ah…”

“You’ve finally figured out what he is?” Xander guessed, gesticulating to the baby and earning himself a dig in the ribs from Dawn.

Narrowing his eyes at the younger man, the watcher suggested he perhaps employ some tact in the future, before stating that, indeed, he had reached some conclusions about the child.

“Don’t leave us in suspense all night, Rupert,” said Spike, trying and failing to sound casual. Looking down at his son, he commented that he “Smelled human enough.”

Buffy wrinkled her nose at the comment, which Spike found adorable and helped ease his discomfort with the shift in conversation.

“So…?” Dawn prompted, a nervous smile plastered across her face. “My nephew got any cool prophecies with his name on?”

Giles cleared his throat again.


	44. Destiny Free

“I’ve been cross-referencing texts,” Giles began. “Ever since I found out little, uh… _Jay_ was on the way and…” he paused to take a deep breath, then concluded, “I can’t find a single hint of a reference to him.”

“Meaning?” asked Buffy, refusing to let herself hope.

“Meaning that he’s a perfectly normal child, at least in terms of the supernatural.”

“Oh, thank god!” she exclaimed, as Spike released a slow sigh of relief.

“You’re sure?”

“As sure as I can be.”

“But,” Dawn interjected, “Not to be negative or anything, but lack of evidence about a thing doesn’t mean that thing doesn’t exist, or isn’t there. It just proves that there’s no evidence – yet.”

Spike’s face fell, and Buffy’s face scrunched up in confusion, but Giles looked proud.

“While I admire your application of logic and sound reasoning to the matter, I must assure you that I was very thorough in my checks. I even employed the use of Willow to cast a spell, making sure I hadn’t missed any texts.”

“And you didn’t just check for prophecies relating to a girl baby, right?” asked Xander.

“I’m not an imbecile,” Giles replied. “There was nothing to indicate which gender the child would be, and my research skills are of the highest quality.”

“Nothing to indicate it besides these two and their instinct,” Dawn snickered.

“Quiet you,” Buffy told her, good-naturedly, before submitting her watcher to a fresh round of questioning. “This is really real? No shocks. No surprises. Honest to God really real?”

“If I’m wrong, I will snog your husband,” he stated.

“Steady on, Rupert,” Spike exclaimed, as everyone else looked away in embarrassment.

“Have I made my point?”

“Yes, yes,” Buffy insisted. “Point very much made. And if you ever say anything like that I’ll _make_ you kiss him.” – “Snog means kiss, right?” she quickly clarified with Spike.

He nodded, and she relaxed.

There was silence for a moment, and then the room erupted with awkward laughter that woke the baby.

“Damn it,” Spike said under his breath. “Right, folks, show’s over. I’m putting mother and child to bed.”

“But I don’t want to go to bed,” Buffy told him, with a pout.

He gave her a significant look, and she blushed. “Oh, wait, nevermind. Bye guys!”

 

\---

 

Buffy was stood beside Jay’s crib, gazing down at him, when Spike returned with a glass of champagne for her.

“Can have just the one,” he said. “Shouldn’t affect the milk.”

The Slayer smiled. “Let me guess, you looked it up.”

“O’course,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I’m so lucky. Do you feel lucky?”

“Luckiest man alive.”

“Mmm,” Buffy leaned back against his chest. And his hardness. “Never thought I’d have this.”

“Never thought I’d have _you_ ,” said Spike.

She turned to face him, and gave him a deep, lingering kiss.

“Will me shaggin’ you senseless wake him, do ya think?”

“Nope,” Buffy answered, with such certainty it made Spike quirk his eyebrow in question. “I got Willow to do a kind of soundproofing spell. It’s not on us, or him, but the room. We can hear him. And he can hear our voices, but only if we’re talking directly to him, in here. Any, um… groan-y noises are shielded from his cute little baby ears.”

“Remind me to thank that girl,” said Spike, grinning.

“Later,” said Buffy, gently tugging him to the bed.


	45. Never a Normal Day

The whole gang descended on Spike and Buffy’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. And, of course, baby Jay was the star attraction. Willow cooed over him like any biological auntie would. It was the first she’d got to meet him, because she’d be out of the country on work until then. The Witch was doing well for herself, it seemed, and even Xander seemed to be making progress. He’d repaired enough bridges with Caitlin for her to come with him to the gathering.

“It must be his excellent carpentry skills,” Dawn joked, when she thought he wasn’t listening, while others were commenting on how far Spike and Buffy had come since the last time they’d all properly got together at the start of the year.

“And your cooking’s gotten a lot better, too,” Xander chimed in. “Look, Giles, it’s edible.”

After Buffy was done glaring at him, she admitted that it was actually Spike that cooked. She enjoyed seeing the look on Xander’s face as he contemplated whether to spit out his mouthful. Spike gave him a warning glance, and he swallowed, before raising his glass.

“To an eventful year, for which we’re very grateful.”

“Amen,” the group replied as one.

 

Xander’s son – Alex – and Jay were sat side by side, in high chairs at one end of the table. They seemed fascinated with each other, which everyone else found adorable.

“Almost makes me want one,” said Dawn, wistfully.

“Don’t even bloody think about it, Niblet,” Spike warned her.

She rolled her eyes. “I said _almost_.”

“So what are you thankful for?” Willow asked Buffy.

“Besides everything? Oh, not much.”

Her friend smiled back at her. Everyone continued to laugh, and joke, and catch up, until Giles – who had been keeping more quiet than usual – cleared his throat to indicate there was something he wanted to announce.

“I’m afraid you’ll all have to come to England,” he began.

Instantly, the noise around him died. Several mouths dropped open, still half-full of food in some cases.

“You see, there is to be a wedding–”

Dawn squealed, “I knew it, I knew it! I so totally said you were gonna propose to Olivia. Guys, do you remember I said?”

“Thank you, Dawn,” Giles told her calmly as he sat down again. “You’re quite right.”

“I have something to say, too,” said Willow, when everyone had settled down again. “I know a couple of you already know this” – she threw a glance at Buffy, Xander, and her girlfriend – “But, for everybody else… I’m pregnant.”

Off confused looks from Dawn and Giles, she added, “It’s Xander’s.”

“What the hell?” Caitlin’s napkin fell to the floor as she stood up and looked between Xander and Willow.

“It’s not what you think,” Xander tried to assure her, but she wasn’t listening. Taking Alex from his high chair, she swiftly packed up and left with Xander chasing her out into the street.

Biting her treacherous lips, Willow sank back down into her chair. “That maybe wasn’t the best time.”

“I don’t get it,” said Dawn, and Willow explained the situation to her.

Buffy talked to Giles about his engagement and Spike busied himself with comforting his son, who was upset at the loss of his playmate.

 

Later, when everyone had gone home and they were curled up on the couch, Spike said to Buffy, “So this is it? The normal life you’ve always wanted?”

Buffy shook her head, and he frowned.

“I’m not sure normal exists,” she clarified. “But I _am_ really happy. This is totally what I wanted.”

 

A few hours after that, Spike called Buffy into the nursery.

“What now?” she asked, going to him and instantly seeing for herself what the matter was without needing a reply. “Oh.”

“I think your watcher is losin’ it,” said Spike, looking down at their child.

“I think you’re due a snog,” replied Buffy, as they both watched Jay levitate above his crib.

Ignoring her teasing, Spike asked, “Are you sensing any danger about this?”

“Nope,” she assured him. “Feels completely normal. Which, gonna say, is slightly unsettling.”

“Right there with ya,” he affirmed.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have assumed there being no prophecies about him meant he’d have zero abilities.”

Spike nodded. “Gonna tell the watcher?”

“Nope,” Buffy said again. “Totally gonna wait until he’s babysitting some night and sees for himself.”

Spike finally took his eyes off Jay to smirk at her. “And they called _me_ evil.”

“Evil? It’ll make him like the happiest non-biological grandfather ever. All those books he can read again.”

Spike chuckled, as did the baby before drifting back down into his bedding.

Buffy went over to him and smoothed out the sheet, giving him a kiss on the forehead and telling him to stay put.

“Normal _definitely_ doesn’t exist for us,” she concluded, when she and Spike exited the room.


	46. Baby's First Christmas

When Buffy finished feeding Jay, Spike came over to take him off her hands. She was feeling tired after getting the house all cleaned up, after the dinner was done and the guests had gone, so it was his turn on cuddle time.

Smiling as her husband sat down beside her and rocked the baby on his knee, she whispered, “You’re so good with him.”

“Yeah, well…” he agreed, at first preening at the compliment, then letting the mask fall away to sincerely ask, “You really think so?”

“I really do,” said Buffy, playfully pushing at his shoulder as he beamed at her.

“Love you, pet,” said Spike, his gaze tracking down to their little one. “You’ve given me everything.”

“Me too,” she whispered, then laughed and shook her head, “I mean, you’ve given me everything as well.”

Dropping a kiss against her cheek and wrapping his free arm around her waist to pull her closer, Spike said, “Always know what you mean, kitten.” Then he froze and handed the baby back to her.

Buffy groaned. “Tell me he hasn’t pooped again. I _just_ changed him.”

Spike’s enhanced sense of smell meant he shied away from diaper duty more often than not, but it wasn’t that particular ability that had him stopped in his tracks this time.

Sensing a mixture of emotions through the Bond, Buffy looked at him as he put his ear to her belly and then raised his head again – a wide grin spread across his handsome face.

“No,” she said. “You’re not serious.”

“Yeah, luv,” he affirmed, clearly delighted with himself.

“ _Spikeee_!” she whined. “Oh my god. I’m getting you sterilized, I swear.”

His face fell and she rolled her eyes before answering his unspoken fears. “I don’t mean it. Of course I’m happy. It’s just a little soon.”

“What is?” Dawn asked, as she walked in the room.

Spike looked to Buffy for permission, turning to Dawn when she gave the nod. “I’ve knocked your sister up again.”

Dawn’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Already?!”

“Yeah,” Buffy sighed. “I’m never going to get back to slaying.”

“Buffy,” Spike began, but she assured him again.

“It’s fine. I want this. I _love_ this – you, me, being a family – but seriously, no more after this one.”

“Okay, luv,” he agreed, his smile back and bigger than ever.

 

Later, while Buffy and Spike were upstairs _celebrating_ , Dawn was spending some quality time with her nephew. She didn’t get to see him much, with being away at College, so she didn’t mind being assigned babysitting duty.

When Jay first came home from the hospital, Buffy wouldn’t stop staring at him like he was the most amazing thing she’d ever seen, and Spike wouldn’t let anyone hold him other than the two of them.

Buffy calmed him down, though – assuring him that, as fragile as a newborn was, no one was going to break him. What she didn’t admit, at the time, was that _she_ was terrified of breaking him herself. It took a while to get used to and, in the end, they didn’t bother repainting the nursery. Spike said that in his day pink was a boy’s color, and Buffy liked it, so it stayed. Almost all the toys and accessories he’d been given for Christmas came in some shade of blue or other, so everything seemed to balance out.

 

“Do you think maybe this time we’ll have a girl?” Buffy asked Spike, as they lay in post-coital bliss. He thought about it for a bit, then said he had a strong feeling it’d be a boy.

Buffy laughed out loud. “Me too,” she admitted. “Must _definitely_ mean it’s a girl.”

He grinned at her and said, “Guess so.”

There was an easy silence for a minute as they held each other closer and Spike laid his hand across her belly. “You’re really not bothered – about having another one so soon?”

Propping herself up on one elbow, Buffy kissed his cheek and said, “Spike, I’m great. Honestly. This is the best Christmas ever.”


	47. Entropy Monsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set roughly five years after we last caught up with the gang.

Epilogue

After a few years of celebrations not getting any worse than having a stray Andrew Wells turn up on her doorstep unannounced, Buffy conceded the supposed curse that had been over her birthday was no more.

Now with four kids, birthdays seemed to happen all the time, so it came as no surprise that the Slayer had to push back celebrations for her thirtieth several weeks purely due to being busy.

To that end, she was thankful Spike wouldn’t tell her exactly when _he_ was born. Heck, half the time he even got the year wrong, though Buffy thought that might be on purpose. Regardless, Buffy’s birthday party was finally happening – better late than never – and the old gang had flown in for the occasion.

Despite Xander and Willow each bringing along a child to the gathering, the Slayer found it refreshing not to be outnumbered by youngsters for a change. Even so, the ratio was close: eight adults to six.

 

Olivia and Caitlin were in the dining room, lodged in deep conversation about how they coped being normal while also being married to someone that was part of the supernatural world; Spike was upstairs putting the baby down for a nap, the rest of the kids playing rescue the dinosaur, and Buffy sighed a contented breath as she slumped into a chair beside one of her best oldest friends.

“It’s been too long,” she said.

“Totally!” Willow agreed.

“Can you believe this craziness? I swear the house was tidy twenty minutes ago.”

“Oh, yeah. I know what it’s like. Got my own little Entropy Monster.”

Giles’ ears picked up, “Entropy Monster?”

Buffy smiled, “Also known as a toddler. You know, with the making things fall apart. Seriously Giles, get your head out of the Hellmouth.”

“Ah. Quite right,” he murmured before going back to his self-appointed task of alphabetizing Buffy’s bookshelf and pretending not to be jealous of Spike’s collection of first edition poetry volumes.

The girls rolled their eyes and laughed at the weirdness that was their lives.

“You think one’s bad?” said Buffy. “Try having a child prodigy who floats when he gets bored, a four year old with the fighting skills of a black belt ninja warrior and a mouth on him like a sailor, a little girl who gets jealous of her older brothers and tries to find all kinds of crazy things to see if she’s got powers of her own – did I tell you? Last week she launched herself off the top stair to see if she could fly.”

Willow gasped. “Oh my goddess! What happened?”

Buffy shrugged. “Spike caught her. The best bit, though? An empathic baby who is constantly upset every time Christina gets a ‘bobo’ and mixes that grief in with the agony that is teething.”

Willow gulped and did indeed thank her lucky stars she’d only had one child. “Don’t you think it’s weird that Christina’s the only one without any powers?” she asked.

Buffy smiled and shook her head. “Nah, she’s also the only one out of all of them with an actual prophecy written about her.”

“Really? What’s it say?”

Buffy shrugged again as she admitted, “I haven’t read it, but Giles says it’s not bad, and it doesn’t kick in for a few years. We haven’t told her.”

“Haven’t told who what?” the little girl in question demanded as she approached.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Buffy assured her daughter, swishing hair out of her eyes. “Why don’t you show me where you got that chocolate?”

The Slayer was greeted with an Oscar-worthy imitation of an innocent face. “What chocolate?”

“The chocolate you’re covered in.”

“Oh,” said Christina, looking down at herself as she wiped the evidence all across her white sleeve and scampered off.

“Tina!” Buffy called after her, as she followed.

Xander took the now empty chair next to his best friend. Based on the beer bottle and nachos he was carrying, the carpenter had raided the kitchen.

“Hey, Wills,” he greeted.

A boy turned around to look at both Xander and Willow in turn, then decided they weren’t talking to him and went back to playing tag with his older brother.

“His name is William,” Willow whispered, by way of explanation.

“Right,” Xander nodded. “Of course.”

Willow smiled. “It’s good to see you! How is married life?”

Xander returned the grin. “Y’know? It’s not as scary as I thought it’d be.”

 

Elsewhere, Spike finally got Seth to settle. It wasn’t easy, seeing as the child was picking up on all the residual excitement flying about. He came down the stairs and separated Alex and Jay who were play-fighting too close to an enchanted urn.

“Oi, take it outside,” he instructed, before whispering to his son that his stance was sloppy, and that if he really wanted to get the other child on his ass he needed to aim for the lower legs.

“Thanks, Dad!” said Jay, as he took off after the older boy into the garden.

Unbeknownst to Spike, Buffy had overheard him and was shaking her head as she approached him from behind. “You’re a bad influence,” she said, as she wrapped her arms around his waist and propped her head on his shoulder.

Spike grinned unashamedly. “No harm in it.”

“Tell that to William’s teacher,” Buffy retorted.

“Happen I will.”

Just then, William was walking past them and looked up at what he thought was the mention of his name. He stamped his foot. “Why do people keep doing that?!”

“Hush now,” Spike soothed, as he swept him up in his arms. “You’ll make Seth all agitated.”

William frowned. “Sorry Daddy. Who is everyone?”

“Well…” Spike began, as he carried his son around the house on his shoulders and pointed out each guest in turn, telling little stories about all of them as he went.

Buffy resumed her hunt for chocolate by attempting to track down her daughter again, and Xander turned just in time to see Dawn enter. His eyes lit up, and it was then that he really realized for the first time that she wasn’t a girl anymore.

“You look amazing!” he exclaimed.

“Thanks,” Dawn replied, smiling back at him. “I like how you’ve gone for a stylish green and orange eye patch, it’s very you.”

Xander’s face dropped a little. “I know the colors clash, but Alex made it and I don’t have to look at it.”

“Very fetching,” the guy on Dawn’s arm assured him.

“And who’s this?” asked Xander.

“Oh, you remember Zach. We met in college, I introduced you like two years ago.”

“Right, right, and with the wedding pictures on Facebook. It’s all coming back to me.”

Dawn shook her head good-naturedly at her friend, then caught sight of her sister and dragged Zach off into the other room.

“Hey! You made it!” Buffy greeted them.

“Yup. And we even brought presents, bought with actual money.”

“I hear that helps.”

They grinned at each other, then Dawn leaned in close, like she was looking for something, or about to tell a secret. “So, uhh, any news?”

Buffy crossed her arms. “I’m not pregnant again if that’s what you mean. You’re gonna have to pay up on that bet with Willow you think I don’t know about, because four really is where we’re stopping.”

“Didn’t you say that after two?” said Dawn.

“Well, yes,” admitted Buffy. “But who was I kidding? Spike wasn’t gonna go without for long, and birth control just couldn’t keep up. Plus, there was no way in hell I was putting him through being sterilized, no matter how many times I threatened it.”

Dawn pulled a face and shot a look of apology over at her husband who had paled substantially. “Enough with the TMI. What’s changed?”

Buffy waved a hand dismissively. “Willow did a non-dangerous mystical equivalent of the sterilization thing.”

Zach almost passed out at the thought of it, and Dawn looked pissed. “I’ve been fleeced!” she exclaimed, before going off to find the Witch and make her pay up on the bet for cheating.

Buffy chuckled to herself as she looked around. “I’ve got the best family in the world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Xander’s son, Alex, was the firstborn of the Scooby babies – coming into the world some time in 2004, making him about seven at the time of the epilogue.   
> Jay was born November 1st 2005, meaning he’s five in this chapter.   
> Willow’s baby, Aria, was born March 2006, making her almost five.   
> Giles got married in May 2006.   
> Buffy’s baby #2, William, was born late August 2006, so he’s four here.   
> Xander married Caitlin in 2007.   
> Buffy’s third child, Christina Joyce, was born February 2008, so she’s just turned three. And Buffy’s fourth, Seth, was born in July 2009 and is therefore one and a half.   
> Dawn got married in 2010 and has no intention of having children – ever. (Though she’s prophesied to have twin baby girls in 2016. They, together with Christina, will form the first wave of the next generation of Slayers, but that’s a different story.)


End file.
